Dangerous Memories
by Free-Yourself-x
Summary: Six years later, the chosen children are reunited with the digimon... though not in the way they had hoped. Tragedy strikes. A friend is killed, and this time, the stakes are much, much higher. With their friendships falling apart at the seams, and without his beloved twin brother, Kouji doesn't think he can do it all over again. [Kouzumi. TW. Part 11 (chapter 10) Posted!]
1. Prologue

**A/N: **Here we go!

* * *

><p><strong>Dangerous Memories<br>(An Arc)**  
>Originally Written: December 22, 2007<br>Prologue  
>"Cause nothing stays the same<br>Maybe it's time to change."  
>— Sick Puppies, <em>Maybe<em>

"Whoa. It got dark all of a sudden."

Those were words that would haunt Takuya Kanbara forever; he would always remember the dark days that followed them, but at the time, he didn't know them to be so ominous. At the time, his life had been fairly good. He had his friends, his family, and soccer... and really, what more could a seventeen–year–old ask for? Well, he supposed, he would always want to get back together with a certain blonde girl in his group of friends, but since that didn't seem like it was going to happen, he could stand being just friends for now.

Takuya glanced over at Kouji Minamoto, the one who had just spoken. Seated next to his identical twin, Kouichi, Kouji's dark blue eyes watched the sky curiously. His eyebrows knitted together and his eyes narrowed, but after a moment, he seemed to shake the eerie feeling off and turn back to their friends. Takuya had to admit that he couldn't blame Kouji for his haunted disposition; it _did_ just get dark all of sudden, and it wasn't like it was night either. The sun–lit autumn sky had up and vanished, leaving behind a blanket of dark gray clouds. Was it supposed to rain today?

"Should we start heading home?" he asked, taking his deep brown eyes away from the sky.

JP Shibayama, the tall, muscular brunette to Takuya's right, shrugged. "I guess we might as well. It looks like it's gonna start pouring anyway."

The others—Zoe Orimoto and Tommy Himi included—came to their feet, stretching and groaning. They had been out for hot drinks in the cold weather, sitting on the picnic table just outside of their school. Today had seemed like a rather quiet day to Takuya, which displeased him quite a bit, but he knew that tonight would fix that for him.

"We still coming over, Takuya?" Kouichi asked, handing his brother his coat.

"You better be, buddy."

Kouichi grinned in reply, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his red jacket. Kouji and Kouichi usually spent the night once or twice a week, which Takuya was sure would lighten his mood tonight. The three of them always had a few good laughs (especially when his parents were out and the alcohol cabinet was unlocked). They were usually pretty good about cleaning up the next morning (though one instance had caused the tragic and final burning of Kouji's old kendo stick... and nearly his bandana as well).

Takuya chuckled, thinking about it. They sure were a lot different than they used to be. Kouji had worn that bandana back in the days when his hair was long. He had cut it short a few years back, perfectly matching Kouichi, and now wore the old thing tied around his neck. The others hadn't allowed him to take it off, because it had become extremely difficult to tell the twins apart; the only big difference between the two was their voices (and, he guessed, the fact that Kouji tended to scowl more often). Kouichi was still generally sweeter, more accepting, and… well, the twins looked different when they were smiling versus scowling, and that was usually Kouichi.

In that mindset, it was hard for Takuya to not think about the digital world.

It had been six—almost seven—years since then, and they had all remained the best of friends. Kouji and Kouichi were always attached at the hip; their parents were still separated, but they switched between households together. The change had been good for the both of them; Kouji had opened up, and Kouichi was more confident. Takuya, himself, had ditched his goggles and his hat long ago. He was tall—the tallest of the group—and muscular from soccer. He often threw it in the twins' faces that he now towered over them. Takuya found it hilarious. Kouji and Kouichi did not.

JP had actually ended up being a bit of a ladies man in high school, and he had made friends with just about everyone he met (but not because of his jokes... those were still awful, as Kouji could tell you). Tommy had matured the most out of all of them. He still looked to Takuya like a second brother, but he was very independent. He was long and lean, standing at about the twins' height. He still had a particularly sensitive nature, but in the best, most compassionate way possible. Takuya hadn't seen tears in his eyes since he was ten or eleven.

Zoe had, of course, grown into beautiful young woman. She had a petite, hourglass shape, but she had more of a tomboy style than she used to. Her blonde hair had been trimmed to just below her shoulders with her bangs swept to the side, and her green eyes were as bright as ever. In all honesty, she had cooled down quite a bit since they were young, and her competitive side was a rarity to see nowadays. Though there was no doubt that she could still be feisty, she generally had a sweet, collected air about her.

Takuya supposed that she had become like that after they broke up. He didn't want to think about it. It wasn't that Takuya felt angry with her because of the breakup—really, he couldn't—but…

"Thanks, Kouji!"

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as his best friend handed his ex–girlfriend her scarf.

"No problem."

Now _that—that_ pissed him off.

Takuya tried to wipe it out of mind. It wasn't like Kouji and Zoe were flirting to purposely annoy him; they had always had that weird tension between them. Even when she and Takuya were dating, Kouji and Zoe had been that way. It hadn't bothered him at the time, though, because Kouji seemed oblivious to the flirting; he thought they were only joking around.

Still, it bothered him.

"Dad called, Kouji," Kouichi said, breaking the brunette out of his thoughts. The elder twin had a cellphone just next to his ear. "He says that he left the keys under the mat if we need to use the car. He and Satomi are taking the van to go grocery shopping."

"Score!" Kouji cheered, giving his brother a high-five. "And here I was thinking I would have to bribe mom for the truck."

Kouichi shook his head, chuckling. "_You_ would have to do it, too. For some reason, mom seems to think you're the innocent one. I don't get it."

Tommy howled with laughter from behind them. "Oh, come on, Kouichi, we all know you have a devious side to you."

Everyone—Kouichi excluded—couldn't help but laugh at that. It was true. Takuya nudged his poor friend in the side and threw an arm around his shoulders. "There's no denying that one, buddy. You _were_ the one who thought it would be cool to see your brother's kendo stick on fire."

Kouichi crossed his arms over his chest, biting back his own laughter. "Then we can _easily_ conclude that 'drunk Kouichi' is the one who's devious."

Kouji scoffed, sticking a finger up in the air. "Then we're supposed to conclude that drunk Kouichi was the one who tried to cut my hair while I was sleeping? And the one who got me trapped in the closet with that girl who was _obsessed _with me? And the one who made me look like a dumbass when—"

"—Okay, _Kouji_, you made your point!" Kouichi snapped while the others doubled over in laughter. "You guys are _so_ funny," he chuckled, a smile quickly appearing on his face. It was very difficult to make Kouichi mad; despite his so–called "devious side," he was a very gentle and selfless person. The only thing that could bring out his anger was someone bothering his brother; there wasn't much else that could do the trick.

As they entered town, Takuya noticed that it was significantly... empty. People were usually running about, doing errands and meeting with friends, and today, that had changed. The others seemed to notice it as well, and the six of them had stopped in their footsteps.

"This feels... weird," Kouji mumbled. "I... don't know why."

Kouichi turned to his brother without a word, but his eyes held a concerned gleam. Takuya understood; he felt something was wrong as well.

"Where _is_ everybody?" Zoe questioned, stepping forward to look around. "Even when it's raining, people are walking around with umbrellas. This part of town is _always_ lively... right?"

The boys nodded. JP shrugged it off and kept on walking. "Well, there's no point in standing here and musing over it. Let's get home. It's too cold!"

_Tck._

Again, the six friends stopped in their tracks. They looked at each other, wondering where the strange noise had come from, and Kouichi put a finger to his lips to keep everyone silent. Takuya stared at his feet, waiting for the noise to come again.

_Tck, tck–tck–kkkk._

Without warning, Tommy jumped away from Zoe and slammed himself into Kouji's side. The others gasped. Kouji cried out, the two of them crashing to the ground, and just as they hit, a chunk of the store balcony to their left crashed at their feet. It smashed into a thousand different pieces, dust collecting all around them. Takuya couldn't move. He could only stare in utter disbelief at the very sight, wondering how in the world that had happened.

"Kouji!" Kouichi howled, breaking from the trance first. He kneeled down beside his brother, helping Tommy off of him. "Are you okay?"

Kouji groaned, coughed a bit, and nodded his head. "Yeah, I just... slammed my hip pretty hard. Thanks, Tommy... I would have been screwed if it wasn't for you."

Kouichi patted their younger friend's shoulder as Takuya unfroze and raced over to them. He reached down to help Kouji to his feet, looking him over to make sure nothing was broken. Everyone else was looking at and around the shop. For as long as they could remember, it had been perfectly stable, and there really was no reason for it to break the way it did. Kouji groaned, looking a little dazed, and leaned on Takuya for support.

"What the _hell_ just happened?" JP cried, a look of sheer disbelief on his face. "Of all the things to happen, that was _definitely_ not what I would have expected!"

Tommy's green eyes were wide. "I... I just looked up to where that sound was coming from, and... it was just _cracking_. I don't know how that's even possible..."

"Something _has_ to be wrong..." Zoe whispered, stepping further into town. "It just feels so _eerie_..." She coupled her hands together, silently looking all around before turning back to face them. "Come on, guys, let's go home! This is weird!"

And just when they were all about to agree, a huge shadow fell over them. Takuya glanced up, his heart stopping. Something enormous—something dark—was hovering over them, and before he could even decipher the image, lightning came shooting down in front of them. He barely had time to gasp and jump out of the way, because at the very moment it hit, the ground exploded into chunks and sent the six of them flying backwards.

The back of his head hit the wall of a store violently, and for a moment, everything went black. What was _happening_? What was _that_? He struggled to figure out the ominous figure that had loomed over him, but his mind was in a blur—unable to put the pieces together. It wasn't until Zoe cried out, "Oh my god! Look!" that Takuya's eyes snapped open.

What he saw was beyond belief. Standing over the rubble were several large, shadowy, enraged beasts; it took only a moment for Takuya to recognize them as digimon. His heart started to slam against his ribcage. He couldn't believe what he was staring at, and the digimon before him were not as he remembered. They carried a horrifying presence with them, and they were sketchy and scrappy looking. Those with wings had sharp points on the tips, and each and every one of them held beady red eyes and scowls on their faces. They were virus–type digimon. What in the digital world was going _on_?

The virus-types hissed and growled, little bits of broken Japanese coming from their mouths every few seconds.

"They're... from the digital world..." Kouichi whispered in a panic.

"What's going on?" Kouji demanded, getting on his feet and staring up at the monsters.

Takuya jumped off the ground and took a few quick steps toward the digimon. "Hey, it's us! The chosen children! The legendary warriors! We _saved _your world! What are you _doing_?"

The volume of the creatures' noises increased to a horrible level—so loud that the six of them doubled over and plugged their ears. Takuya felt his head begin to throb, and he shut his eyes to try and rid of the pain, but it did no good. In no more than ten seconds later, lasers, beams of lightning and fire, and other attacks were flying mercilessly. Buildings crumbled, people screamed, and others were opening their doors to see what was happening.

"Listen to us!" Kouji snarled, balling his hands into fists. "Goddammit, listen to us!"

But still the creatures went on, ignoring the protests. A winged one took off into the sky and didn't seem to return, and the rest of them continued to hiss and cry out, attacking everything in sight. Takuya jumped to the ground, just narrowly dodging a black beam headed in his direction. Behind him, he could hear a multitude of other people screaming and sobbing. This couldn't be happening. He had to be dreaming!

He picked himself up and turned to face the destruction. Immediately, his nose picked up the wretched, thick scent of blood, and his stomach churned; there were people—humans—lying across town, dead and injured... and this wasn't the digital world; they weren't going to come back.

"No!" Takuya screamed, his voice breaking. "Stop! _Stop_!"

He felt for his phone in his pocket, but it was still nothing more than that. Where were their D–tectors when they _needed_ them? How were they supposed to escape this rampage alive? _And_ w_as his family safe?_

"Takuya, look out!"

Before he could make another sound, Kouichi plowed into his side and knocked him to the ground again. A large chunk of concrete flew over their heads and smashed into the old firehouse across from them, and when Takuya realized that the blow would have easily killed him, he felt angry tears build over his eyes.

"Thank you..." he whispered to Kouichi, still overwhelmed by all that was happening.

"Are you hurt?"

"No… but..."

He looked around again. Two police cars had been flipped over and the number of lifeless bodies had increased noticeably. He didn't know what to do. They had _saved_ their world—the digital world—and this was the thanks they got in return?

"Kouji...?"

Takuya glanced up at Kouichi, who was holding a hand to his heart and staring across the street. He followed his dark blue eyes to the other twin, who was desperately removing rubble off of a trapped Zoe. They were surrounded with dust, and it was obvious that they had just narrowly escaped an attack. It wasn't until Takuya looked at Kouji—_really_ looked at him—that he realized the latter wasn't quite with it.

Kouichi rushed over to his brother's side—obviously having sensed that something wasn't right—and Takuya got to his feet and followed more cautiously; the monsters had moved down the street from him, it seemed, but he was still terrified.

"Kouji! Kouji, relax... come on, you're bleeding..." Kouichi rambled, holding his brother close to him. He was right; the back of Kouji's neck was soaked with blood. The younger twin's eyes had glazed over as though he was lost in a daze.

Takuya held out a hand for Zoe to take, helping her up and still staring at his friend's wound. She held her hand to her mouth, taking a few steps away from everybody to catch her breath. "He shielded me when the debris flew up," she said. "Something hit him in the back of the head. He's delirious. We have to get him out of here!"

"And just _leave_ everyone?" JP snapped, approaching them. The right side of his face was bruised badly, and he sported several scrapes on his hands. Takuya started pacing, fighting to catch his breath; he was still having a hard time believing this.

"What are we supposed to do, JP?" Kouichi snapped back, protectively pulling his brother in closer. "We don't have our d–tectors, in case you forgot!"

It was certainly one of those rare occasions when Kouichi lost control of his emotions. With his brother's life in danger, Takuya knew the elder twin didn't care about how he spoke to people; the most important person in his life required his attention. JP seemed to acknowledge this, gripping his hair tightly and walking away.

"My house is closest," added Tommy, who came up to them covered in scrapes and burns. "Let's go there and figure this out. Hopefully, we'll be safe uptown."

"Actually..." Zoe mumbled, looking around... "I think we _are_ safe."

Takuya took in her words and glanced over the town again. Although not a pretty sight, the virus types had up and disappeared. He stood, walking a few feet forward and peeking around the building corners to see if his eyes were deceiving him. He saw nothing. There were no monsters, no sounds but the moans and cries of the injured—nothing.

JP and Zoe came up from behind him, doing the same. There was absolutely no hint of danger; how was that even possible? The monsters that had attacked them were gigantic, livid–looking creatures. Letting them out of their sight for a minute or so didn't give the monsters enough time to run away—as if they would even do that.

"Something's wrong."

Takuya glanced back at the twins and Tommy at the sound of Kouichi's voice. The elder twin was gripping his brother's wrist tightly, and Kouji was holding a hand to his heart, looking worriedly at Kouichi.

"Something doesn't feel... right..." the younger twin murmured.

It was as though they were communicating without speaking. The twins had locked eyes—two sets of identical blue watching each other knowingly. Takuya bit his lip, wondering what could have been racing through their minds. After a moment, the elder twin nodded, releasing his brother's wrist to lace their fingers together.

A look of fear seemed to hit Kouji. "Kouichi..." he whispered weakly.

And then... something went horribly, horribly wrong.

Out of nowhere, a violent ray of lightning came shooting straight out of the sky. Takuya watched, absolutely breathless and completely frozen in place, as Kouji kicked behind him and knocked Tommy out of the way. All at once, the lightning hit the ground, and Kouji and Kouichi barely had time to move. Just as it seemed they had dodged it, however, fate took a horrible turn.

The lightning, in some ridiculous, godlike nature, reflected off of the ground and broke into three rays. The first hit Kouichi directly in the chest; the other two seemed to strike Kouji hard, but he was turned away from them. All the others knew was that the lightning exploded like oversized firecrackers, and each of the twins were thrown back hundreds of feet in opposite directions—their hands scraping to each other's in a desperate attempt to hold on.

A large shadow passed over them quickly.

Takuya couldn't scream, couldn't cry out, couldn't make a single sound... he had lost his voice. His heart had stopped beating, he was sure, because the great deal of blood that had spilled out in front of them came from his very best friends. He ran. He ran like he had never run in his life, and he fought to breathe—his shoes staining themselves with Kouji and Kouichi's blood. And for some reason, he ran straight to Kouji; he felt compelled to.

"KOUICHI! KOUJI!" the others were screaming behind him. He knew they were screaming, but he could barely hear them at all. His limbs tightened, and he fell onto his knees, scraping the skin, in front of Kouji.

He carefully rolled Kouji, who was on his right side, onto his back. All at once, his breath came back to him, and he started crying uncontrollably. Kouji lay, unmoving, not breathing, with his lips parted slightly and his eyebrows knitted together. His eyes were shut, but surrounded with blood, and they were bruised purple, black, and blue–scraped and damaged beyond Takuya's imagination. The lightning had hit Kouji in the _face_—square in his _eyes_.

His entire right leg was coated in fresh blood—his pant leg irrevocably shredded and destroyed. It hardly took a few seconds before Takuya noticed that a significant amount of that blood was coming from Kouji's knee—torn open and twisted the wrong way. He couldn't imagine Kouji ever being able to walk right again… if he even made it out alive. Takuya choked on a sob at the very thought.

Zoe came up from behind him, but he ignored her. Something else had managed to catch Takuya's eye. Kouji's left hand—the one that had been so desperately gripping Kouichi's—had three cuts on the palm. They were jagged, deep, and bloody cuts that sent a sickening feeling to Takuya's stomach. He thought he would ill. To actually see just how strong their grip had been... to leave marks like that in Kouji's hand... meant that the lightning had been strong enough to break a bond they believed to be unbreakable.

"NO! NO!" someone's voice—unrecognizable—screamed from across the broken street. "DAMMIT, KOUICHI! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"

It was JP—his voice racked with sobs. Takuya looked up to see him and Tommy kneeling over Kouichi's unmoving body. Grief hit him like a two–ton brick landing in the pit of his stomach; he used his hands to keep himself from crumbling to the ground. He couldn't take his eyes off of the sight. Things had gone from bad to unbelievable to life changing in a matter of minutes. Had it really only been that long? Time didn't seem to exist.

"Takuya, do something!"

The brunette whirled back around to face Zoe. She was brushing the bangs out of Kouji's eyes and running her fingers through his dark hair, crying silently, and below her, Kouji had barely moved; what caught his eye was the mere, little jagged rise and fall of his slender chest. Takuya didn't know what to do; he didn't dare touch Kouji for fear of breaking him further, and strangely, he felt no relief. He felt... anger.

"Stay with him" was all he said, coming to his feet and taking off towards Kouichi.

As he came closer, he slowed down, his legs going weak again. What he saw destroyed any happiness—any glimmer of home—that had been shining within him. Tommy was backed into a wall, staring with a frightened, child–like expression at the sight before him, and JP on his hands and knees, sobbing relentlessly next to Kouichi.

Kouichi.

Unlike Kouji, Kouichi's eyes were wide open, staring up at the darkened sky blankly; they held no emotion or hint of life. His hand was crossed to his heart—just as Kouji's had been before they had gotten hit—and blood had completely drenched it. And, like his brother, his free hand was deeply scarred by Kouji's nails. The hole in his chest, the blank look in his eyes, and the ghostly paleness of his skin said more to Takuya than anything else ever could.

Kouichi was dead, and from across the way, it became clear that a barely conscious Kouji already knew.

"Kouichi...! Kou_ichi_! No...! _No_... aghh."

The agony and suffering in Kouji's voice was like nothing Takuya had ever heard before; it made him want to put him out of his misery. He felt an incredible fury build up inside of him, burning up his tears and leaving him with nothing but an enraged expression. After all they had done—after all they had _sacrificed_—for the digimon, they returned nearly six years later and _killed_ one of them? And Kouichi! Takuya felt such a sudden, powerful hatred towards him. How _dare_ he let this happen!

Takuya collapsed to his knees, overwhelmed with a mix of emotions. Oh, Kouichi..._ no_. He could not convince himself that this was really happening.

The digimon were back, and they had _attacked_ them.

Kouji was dying.

Kouichi was gone.

Oh, god, _why_?

He felt the agony strip away every little bit of his strength. He saw everything go black. He felt his body hit the ground.

Kouichi was _dead_.

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><p><strong>PROLOGUE END.<strong>


	2. Ashes, Ashes

N/A: Hey, everyone. Thank you so much for the reviews, and I am so sorry that this took so long. I've recently been suffering from a horrible case of writer's block, and I changed a lot about the storyline. It wasn't until early this morning that I caught a glimpse of how I was going to end it. It's a little rough, considering I had to force some of this out, but the chapters will get better and smoother. Thanks for sticking with me, and I hope you enjoy!

**Dangerous Memories  
>Written: June 28, 2008<br>Revised: November 24, 2011  
>Final Revision: February 28, 2012<br>Chapter One: **_**Ashes, Ashes**_  
>"Thinking of the day<br>When you went away  
>What a life to take<br>What a bond to break  
>I'll be missing you."<br>- Faith Hill

**KOUJI**

_His eyes snapped open._

_The slight murmurings of others entered his ears as he waited for his vision to adjust; a moment went by—it didn't. He blinked, and it burned as though his eyes were on fire. Still, his vision didn't improve. He could only see horribly blurred objects, and he had absolutely no idea where he was. A soft, cracked moan came from his throat, and he shifted very lightly. His body was sore, but it was weighted down by what must have been a thick blanket. A second later, he saw the blurred figures of three others crowding him. His mind was in a horrible haze, unable to understand what these people were saying. He shut his eyes._

_And that was when he remembered._

_"KOUICHI!"_

_The three figures jumped back and Kouji sat straight up and scrambled to get to his feet. His legs were twisted around the blanket, but he was able to throw it off eventually. His body was weak, he could tell, but his concern for his brother was stronger than that. At least, that was what he had thought… until…_

_"Kouji, wait!"_

_He thrust forward and took a step, and as soon as the heel of his right foot hit the ground, Kouji's breath was taken from him. A physical, white-hot pain like he had never felt before exploded from his knee. He felt it shoot down to his ankle and up his thigh. He felt it go through his limbs and travel through his veins. It shot up his spine and between his shoulder blades, sending a wicked shudder through the rest of his body. For a moment, Kouji believed it was too much for him, and he worried that he was about to crumble into pieces. He let out a barely audible cry and went completely limp._

_What he felt was so strong that Kouji couldn't help but black out from the pain. It only lasted for a few seconds, but when he came to again, he realized that somebody had caught him and was slowly lowering him to the floor. Kouji felt his shoulder blades ease into the familiar carpet; he felt his breath come back to him, and he felt the slow, jagged rise of his own chest. Slowly, he came to realize that tears were unconsciously dripping down his cheeks and off his jaw. The atmosphere sunk in slowly. It was Tommy's house._

_Nobody said anything until another figure entered the room._

_"Is he conscious?"_

_It was the deep voice of Yutaka Himi, Tommy's older brother._

_"Just barely, yeah."_

_Takuya?_

_"I'll get the ibuprofen then."_

_Riddled with such an unruly ache, Kouji didn't try to move. He couldn't change the devastatingly shocked expression on his face; he felt as though he had been hit by a bus and run over by another. This couldn't be happening, he tried to tell himself, but he knew; he felt it in his heart. More unbearable than his blurry vision or his destroyed leg was the pain he felt inside himself. Kouichi was gone, and he knew that, but he just couldn't accept it._

_The person who caught him—whose blurry outline could have only belonged to JP—put a gentle hand to his shoulder. "Kouji…?" he tried, and it was clear that JP certainly did not know what to say in that instance._

_Kouji parted his lips slightly. "I… I'm blind…" he whispered. "N-not completely, b-but…."_

_He felt the tears begin to rush faster. Off to the left, he saw Zoe's slender figure step away from him, a hand to her mouth. She was crying, Kouji realized. Was the very sight of him so unbearable? Was he _that_ badly broken, and were his eyes so visibly damaged that she had to step away? Or was it because Kouji was the very mirror image of Kouichi—his beloved twin brother and his best friend in the entire world—who was _gone_?_

_Kouji shut his eyes and tilted his head back._

_"Oh, Kouichi…" he whimpered… "_Kouichi_."_

_He gritted his teeth together, unable to stop the tears from coming. His entire body trembled heavily, wracked with sobs. A gentle hand slipped in between his shoulders and pulled him into a safe, but strong, hug. Zoe's tears dripped over him as she carefully turned his head onto her shoulder. _It was too much for him_—too much._

_"Please come back… _please_."_

* * *

><p>"Please come back…."<p>

Kouji opened his eyes, the memory from one week ago still fresh in his mind.

_Fate is a cruel, cruel thing._

He supposed fate had pitied him slightly that horrible day, strange as it sounded. After nearly being crushed by the fallen balcony, and after he had taken that hit to the back of his head, everything went hazy for him. He guessed it was fate's funny way of helping him; in that state of delirium, he had not been conscious enough to fully comprehend it all. Everything seemed fuzzy. It helped with the pain. All he really knew in that moment was that he had felt an irresistible urge to stand close to his brother… and then...

_Like firecrackers._

He could still remember the way the lightning reflected off the ground and exploded in his eyes. It was a mess of pain like he had never felt before, leaving him scrambling and twisting and turning for any sort of relief. The next thing he knew, a sharp, white-hot pain struck through this knee, tearing through the skin and muscles. His brother had been gripping his hand so hard that when the blow separated them, he left three deep scars in his palm. He remembered that much, but the moment Kouji hit the ground, he knew that the unbearable had happened… and that was when it really _hurt_.

Kouji swallowed the hard lump in his throat. The moment he had woken up that day, he had known something felt eerie. He remembered the way he rolled over and faced Kouichi across the room, and his twin, not missing a beat, said, _Are you okay? _And Kouji nodded, smiling, and explained that he just _felt weird_. Kouichi smiled back at him knowingly. _Yeah, _he said, _I feel that too._

The very little memory sent a horrible pang of agony into the pit of Kouji's stomach. He sighed and shut his eyes, unable to see properly anyway. At the thought, Kouji felt the smallest sense of gratitude. From what JP had told him, his once mesmerizing midnight blue eyes were rather hard to look at. They were so incredibly bloodshot that it seemed as though Kouji's airways had closed off at one point. His irises had changed from dark blue to a foggy light blue, his pupils faintly visible. His eyes were sunken in, surrounded by a great deal of purple, black, and blue bruising. By the sounds of himself, Kouji was thankful he barely see.

But he didn't need eyes to know what was happening at that moment. He felt the ground between his fingers and the dirt beneath his nails. The heavy atmosphere wore down on him, sucking away the little energy that remained from digging the hole. A shovel resided by the foot of his bad leg, and though being kneeled over was causing him a horrendous deal of pain, and though Zoe wrapped her arms around his hips, pleading him to move, he could not draw himself away. Because in that hole, wrapped carefully in a blanket, was his dead brother. He couldn't let go—he _wouldn't. _Kouji would _never _leave Kouichi.

"I told you we shouldn't have let him come," Takuya's dull voice whispered, but Kouji shook his head.

He simply would not allow them to bury Kouichi without him; it wasn't right—he needed to be here. They hadn't wanted him to come, thinking it would be too much for him physically _and_ emotionally… and maybe they had been right… but still; this was _his _twin—_his _responsibility! How dare they think they could have forced him _not_ to come! Kouji bowed his head, his damaged eyes stinging fiercely as the tears began to slip through.

"Takuya, don't be cruel…" JP managed through a cracked voice.

Kouji couldn't get up, and it wasn't because of the physical pain. He just couldn't leave Kouichi; it was wrong. He knew his brother was gone—he knew it in his heart—but part of Kouji just wanted to believe that at any moment... Kouichi would wake up. He wished it was all some sick, cruel joke, and his twin would sit up and laugh at him for falling for it… but Kouichi would never do that to him, and that's what made this so hard.

"You guys…" Yutaka whispered gently from behind Kouji. "I… I know it's hard for you all… but it's getting dark. We really should—"

"—No."

Kouji felt all their eyes turn to him. In this past week, Kouji had said very little to nothing at all, so when he did speak, the others were often very thankful. However, the short statement—that little assertion that came from his mouth—came out very harsh and very _cold, _and his friends seemed horribly surprised. Kouji felt a familiar coldness race through his veins; it felt like the ice that he had melted after being reunited with Kouichi. But now that Kouichi was gone, that cold feeling was back, and Kouji _hated _it.

He narrowed his eyes, beginning to tremble with rage. His fingernails dug into the ground as the others whispered behind him.

"Kouji, it's not safe," Yutaka stated firmly.

Kouji bristled, scrunching his nose at those words. "Well, no _shit_!" he snapped, not even bothering to look in the elder male's direction. "If it was safe here, my twin brother wouldn't be _dead_!"

He felt it—the way Tommy, Yutaka, Takuya, Zoe, and JP shivered at the word "dead." He shivered too, and the most unpleasant pain shot up his spine.

Yutaka kept at it. Why couldn't he just leave him alone? "Kouji," he said sternly but calmly, "you're injured, and we can't risk you getting hurt worse. I know, okay? I understa—"

All at once, Kouji used his hands to push himself onto his left leg. He turned around to face the others, his right leg dangling painfully and his foot just barely touching the ground. "No, you _don't_ understand!" he snarled, his teeth gritted together. His friends took a step back, and Kouji knew that they still weren't used to his foggy-blue blind eyes. Frankly, he was a mess, but at that moment, he didn't care. "Is that _Tommy _in that hole, Yutaka?" he challenged, his eyebrows knitting together. The Himi brothers both shuddered. "No! That's fucking Kouichi! It's not _your _brother, so don't you _dare _tell _me_ that you _understand_!"

There was an unpleasant moment of silence.

"He's right, you know…" Tommy managed, and Yutaka nodded slowly.

A moment later, Kouji's hard features relaxed slowly. He sighed heavily, still unbearably upset, and looked away. It was true that Yutaka didn't understand, but really, nobody did. Kouji had never felt more alone in his entire life than in that moment, and there was something sickening thriving within him because of it. He didn't know if he would be ill or pass out or break down in tears… or even die on the spot… but it was the most horrible thing he had ever felt in his life.

But it wasn't just Kouichi who had done this to him. His parents had gone out-of-town just hours before the first attack… and they never came back. Knowing very well the sort of destruction that had happened on that horrible day, Kouji knew it was very likely that his parents had died as well. Just like that, his twin brother, father, mother, and step-mother were gone from his life forever.

The very thought cut his breath short and he ended up in a coughing fit. He coughed into his arm, trying to catch his breath and trying to stay balanced on his left foot. Before that could happen, however, someone pulled his free arm over their shoulders. Kouji took the time he had to settle down and glanced up. Takuya's blurry outline stood there, hardly even looking in his direction. Kouji shook his head and let it drop forward. The dark outlines of his closed eyes seemed to stand out even more as his face paled.

"He looks so sick…" JP said softly.

Kouji wanted so badly to tell JP off and state that he wasn't sick, but he quickly found that he didn't have the energy. Before he even knew what was happening, his body shut down on him and he went limp. Takuya readjusted himself so that he was almost fully supporting Kouji.

"Let's get him home…" Yutaka replied.

* * *

><p><em>He opened his eyes. He felt almost completely numb, but a fever burned through him. His vision blurred again. He was lying on the couch of his home, dressed in the clothing he had worn the day of the attack; blood covered him, and his clothes were tattered. Above him, a familiar figure tended to him. Whoever it was placed her hand beneath his fringe, held it there for a moment, and then carefully ran her fingers through his hair.<em>

_"Mom…?" Kouji whispered, and though he couldn't really see her all too well, he could tell that she smiled. Though he had been separated from his birth mother for a good ten or eleven years as a child, they had a powerful bond. She was the only beside one besides Kouichi who could look at Kouji and see what he was really feeling. She always knew when he was hurt, even if he tried to hide it from her in order to spare her the trouble. Likewise, if Kouji suspected that something was wrong with his mother, the most important thing to him was to make sure she was going to be alright._

_And when Tomoko looked at him, she didn't see the cold, emotionally-drained boy that he had grown up being. She saw someone who was always a little misled and very introverted, and somebody who was always misunderstood… and that was why Kouji felt nothing except pure happiness as she tended to him._

_"Hi, baby…" she whispered back. "It's going to be okay."_

_Kouji knitted his eyebrows together. "Mom, where are you?"_

_Tomoko chuckled and cupped his cheek. "I'm right here, sweetheart."_

_He felt a pang of ache strike his heart, and in that instant, he knew that he was dreaming. "Please…" he whimpered, his happiness wavering. "I need you. I need you and dad and Satomi. I can't do this without you. I can't do this without Kouichi. Please tell me where you guys are—if you're okay!"_

_His mother's smile did not waver even slightly. She leaned in and kissed him on the forehead, wiping the blood away from his eyes. Then, without warning, she untied his bandana from his neck. Kouji didn't take his gaze away as it slipped to the ground._

_"You and your brother have always been part of each other, Kouji, and you always will be," Tomoko said simply._

_His mother came to her feet and began to walk away. Kouji stiffened; he didn't want her to go. He jumped up—an arm stretched out towards her—but instead of a desperate plea, a cry of agony shot up his throat. He whimpered and fell back on his side, his hand covering the left side of his chest. This time, it wasn't his injuries that were hurting him—it was his heart._

_His body trembled and seized, and he clutched at his chest, but the pain just wouldn't go away. He curled up tightly, clenching his teeth and knitting his eyebrows together as blood poured over his hand. In the background, he could hear someone calling his name, but he just couldn't budge from his position. The pain was too much._

_"Kou_ichi_…."_

* * *

><p><strong>ZOE<strong>

The distance from the hill to Tommy's house was a five-minute walk, but it seemed so much longer than that. The whole thing seemed to happen in increments for Kouji, who was drifting in and out of consciousness. He really only jerked awake once or twice when his foot would accidentally drag against the ground.

And Kouji cried. He cried nearly the entire way back, murmuring Kouichi's name, and he was hardly conscious enough to even realize it. Everybody else didn't really know what to say, though Zoe knew Kouji appreciated the silence, so she kept her mouth shut. Every now and then, though, she couldn't help but reach over and rub his back soothingly. She had always hated to see her friends in pain, but what she was seeing and feeling right now was unimaginable; she felt as though she were in a dream.

It had been a week, and it still didn't seem possible that Kouichi was gone. Still, her heart always fluttered painfully at his name. Nothing had ever felt _unreal _to her before now, but it was a horrible feeling; sometimes, she just felt numb. There was no way to her that one of her very best, very loved friends was gone forever. Sweet, sweet Kouichi had never intentionally harmed anyone, save the Duskmon stage. She couldn't fully fathom the idea that she would never see him again… and that's why it was hard to look at Kouji.

Zoe had never had a problem with Kouji and Kouichi being identical twins. Even after Kouji cut his hair off and matched Kouichi perfectly, she always looked at the pair of them and thought that they were cute together. They fit each other, like yin and yang, and they were two halves of a whole. It was never frustrating for her when they switched places, always irritating Takuya, JP, and Tommy. Rather, she thought it was funny… but now it was different.

Kouji did not belong by himself; without Kouichi, he was only half there. With the thought of the elder twin's death fresh in her mind, Zoe sometimes looked at Kouji and saw his brother. It didn't seem right—no, the very thought made her seem like a nutcase—but she couldn't help herself. Looking at Kouji often made her cry, because he was the very mirror image of her dear friend who had been killed. It would have been one thing with the twins being identical, but Kouji was also injured… so it made looking at him even worse.

Takuya had no trouble lifting Kouji off his feet as they entered the Himi household. He set him down gently in the recliner, mindful of his leg. Nobody said much in that instant, and Zoe assumed that they all felt terribly guilt-ridden. Kouji was right. _Nobody _knew how he felt.

Yutaka had just been visiting Tommy when all this had happened. Their parents had been traveling to see old friends, and since then, they hadn't returned. Zoe was a similar situation; her parents had been out of town too, and after all this terror and trauma, she couldn't even remember why. JP's family didn't even live in the same town—he had an apartment of his own. However, contact with his family was impossible; telephone cables were destroyed, and all electronics were disabled. (Still, they kept their cell phones on the coffee table, just hoping that the digital world could provide an explanation).

Takuya was perhaps the luckiest of them all. His little brother, mother, and father were all safe and sound at home. Living close to Tommy allowed him to leave home without terribly worrying his family. He spared them the details, however, because explaining the digital world after all this had happened was just too overwhelming at the time. All he told them was that Kouji needed him, and they left it at that. They understood… in a way.

But although they had all suffered some sort of loss, Kouji had them all beat. Their parents had merely never returned, but Kouichi was visibly and undeniably gone from their lives. It was the most realistic loss of them all, and for that reason, coupled with horrible injuries, _Kouji_ needed _them. _Kouichi would always be their very beloved companion, but he was more than that to Kouji; he was his twin, his brother, his other half, and his best friend in the entire universe. How did you go on without that?

The digimon—though they had taken to calling them "monsters"—were gone now; at least, it seemed that way. They had up and vanished, leaving nothing but permanently grey skies, a desolate world, and lots and lots of pain behind. People never left their homes. They either didn't think it was safe enough or they were mourning their losses, she guessed. Zoe, however, knew they couldn't stay.

"Guys…" she murmured, taking a seat besides Kouji. "We can't stay here much longer."

Yutaka said nothing, tending to the fire that was currently heating up their tea. Takuya shrugged from Kouji's other side.

"Kouji can't stay on his feet for more than ten minutes—even with crutches," he stated, his voice dry and soft. Zoe looked away. She couldn't stand to see the usually-chipper brunette in such a broken state. "We can't ask him to go out _exploring_."

Zoe winced at the harsh tone in Takuya's voice. She hadn't meant it like that; she didn't _want _to hurt Kouji worse. Lately, the brunette could be rather cruel.

"She's right though…" JP said suddenly. "Kouji's in pretty bad condition, and we can't do much more for him here. He needs a hospital… if we can find one. There's only so much more healing he can do before another monster decides to ambush us. If they come back, they could destroy our houses… then what?"

Zoe nodded, tucking a loose strand of blonde behind her ear. "What do you think, Tommy?"

But Tommy didn't seem to be listening to them. He was looking at his older brother worriedly. What was going through his mind?

"Yutaka…" he whispered at last. It was a very subtle, painful whisper, and they flinched hearing it. "It's okay."

Zoe raised an eyebrow, confused by their younger friend's words. Yutaka hardly reacted—continuing to poke at the fire as it built up. A moment later, she realized that he must have been upset about what Kouji had said earlier. Even more so than Takuya, Kouji, at times, could be exceptionally cruel.

Yutaka shifted towards Tommy slightly. "Kouji saved your life at the cost of Kouichi's and nearly his own," he said. "I owe him my little brother's life… so it's not right of me to be upset with him. I'll be in his debt forever."

Tommy bowed his head, and Zoe shuddered as the guilt filled the already-thick air. What happened on that day was not—and never would be—Tommy's fault, but what Yutaka said was true. It happened in a flash. All at once, the lightning struck down, and Kouji reacted instinctively by kicking Tommy and getting him out of the way. Their younger friend often guilted over the fact that Kouji could have saved himself and Kouichi instead… but the past was in the past, and they were just happy that Tommy was alive.

_If it hadn't been for you, I'd be gone instead, _Tommy had guiltily admitted to Kouji one early morning.

Kouji, expression vacant and voice sorely numb, had merely explained, _If it hadn't been for you, I would have been killed before the attack even happened._

And that was true, Zoe realized, because the balcony of the convenience store had nearly crushed Kouji before Tommy shoved him out of the way.

Before anybody could say another word, Yutaka stopped toying with the fire and walked into the kitchen with the tea kettle. Tommy sighed lightly and glanced over at Zoe.

"Those monsters are gone for now, but who's to say that they won't come back?"

She nodded, glad that he agreed with her. Looking back at JP and Takuya, she bit her lip nervously.

JP crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat. "It's not gonna hurt to go explore. We really do need to figure out where everyone's disappeared to… and what's going on, exactly. We'll have to wait until Kouji's physically capable of it, though."

Again, Zoe nodded in agreement. She rested her chin on her hand and began to wonder what they could possibly do to help Kouji. Thankfully, between Tommy and Takuya's households, there had been enough medical supplies to bandage his knee up. Nevertheless, Kouji was still in an awful lot of pain, and they really didn't know the extent of his leg injury.

"Zoe…" said Takuya suddenly. "Didn't your dad have ankle surgery?"

It took a moment to realize what Takuya was implying, but when she got it, Zoe jumped up from her seat and clapped her hands together. "Takuya, I thought I'd never say this, but you're a genius!"

The former leader scoffed. "Gee, thanks."

"I have a pair of crutches at my house! And pain killers too!" she announced as the others looked at her curiously. "That would help Kouji _so _much!"

JP snapped his fingers, a slight grin growing on his face. "Nice thinking, guys!" he exclaimed. "But… who's gonna go?"

A moment of silence passed.

"Well…" Takuya started… "It was my—"

"—Nobody."

They all turned immediately towards Kouji, who had just barely stirred. He looked irritated.

"I don't want anybody risking their lives for something so stupid," he stated dryly.

Takuya crossed his arms, looking somewhat offended that Kouji had shot down his idea. "It's _not _stupid. It's actually _reasonable_."

"Besides," Tommy added, "It's safe! For now, at least."

Kouji didn't look any bit convinced. "That's exactly what we said right before the lightning came down."

Zoe shuddered, sharing a worried glance with JP. Kouji had a point. What if they left the house thinking it was safe when it really wasn't? What good would that do them?

"We don't have a choice," Takuya insisted. "We have to try. If we ever want to get out of here and get answers, then you need to be able to walk."

Kouji scrunched his nose, glaring at the brunette. "Or you could just leave me here."

"No."

Zoe jumped in between the two of them. "Guys, stop fighting…! Look, it's _my_ house, so I should be the one to go!" She found Kouji's blind eyes. "And I _am _going, Kouji."

She couldn't tell how Kouji felt at that moment; his foggy eyes seemed almost emotionless and he didn't say another word. However, if she had to guess, she would assume that he was undeniably and overwhelmingly angry with her. If that _was _the case, she couldn't blame him, but that wasn't going to stop her.

"I'm going with you. I won't take no for an answer."

Zoe smiled slightly at Takuya, mindful that he still cared greatly for her. Looking around, she found that JP and Tommy had smiled in agreement as well. Kouji, however, gritted his teeth together weakly, turned his head, and shut his bruised eyes.

"If something happens, just remember that I'll never forgive myself," he stated simply.

Those words sent a sickening feeling into the pit of Zoe's stomach, and she knew that me meant it. That wasn't what she wanted; she didn't intend to make things harder for Kouji. In fact, Zoe thought she was going out of her way to make things easier for him. Why couldn't he see that?

As the others went on discussing plans and debating when the best time to leave for her house would be, Zoe found that her excitement had diminished greatly. Even as Yutaka set down a cup of tea in front of her, she couldn't clear her mind. She stared hopelessly at the back of Kouji's head, his ebony hair—usually so carefully tamed and smooth—slightly untidy from the long day. His eyes were sunken and hopeless. His injuries made him seem small and fragile. Everything about him read miserable.

So even though she cared so much for Kouji, was she just making things worse?

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 1 END.<strong>


	3. We All Fall Down

A/N: Thanks again for the wait! This one came a little faster, though! I appreciate the reviews _so _much, and I hope you continue to enjoy! I also promise you that the chapters will get much longer. We're just getting started, and I am thankful that you're all sticking around to keep reading.

Enjoy!

**Dangerous Memories**  
>Written: July 21, 2008<br>Revised: March 8, 2012  
>Chapter Two: We All Fall Down<br>"I don't want you to know where I am  
>'Cause then you'll see my heart<br>In the saddest state its ever been."  
>— <strong>Relient K<strong>, _Who I Am Hates Who I've Been_

**TAKUYA**

It was not an eventful walk, but finally arriving at Zoe's doorstep sent a wave of relief through Takuya. Zoe unlocked the door, and they rushed in and locked it behind them. Why something as mediocre as locking a door made Takuya feel secure in this monstrous era, he wasn't sure. Nevertheless, he wasn't about to question it; there were much more important matters to tend to.

There had only been one other time since the attack that Zoe had been able to return home (JP as well), and that had been when she discovered her parents had not returned. Takuya, feeling rather guilty that his blood family was all present and accounted for, had taken it upon himself to search Kouji and Kouichi's houses; needless to say, the results weren't great. In a way, Takuya was grateful. What would he have possibly said if the twins' parents had been present that day? _Oh, hello, Mr. and Mrs. Minamoto—hello, Mrs. Kimura—I was just stopping by to tell you that one of your sons is dead and the other one is critically injured._

Tch. Yeah right.

Shaking the thought away, Takuya trailed after Zoe as she started up the stairs. The house was painfully empty—so much so that their footsteps seemed to echo. It seemed strange that Zoe's mother wasn't in the kitchen gleefully cooking as she always did… and it was odd not seeing her father plopped down in front of the television. Kouji and Kouichi's houses had been just as eerie, and Takuya had snatched a few of Kouji's things and left as quickly as possible.

He glanced up at Zoe as she sighed. Catching her emerald-green eyes, Takuya tried to gauge how she was feeling; lately, he felt so out of the loop with it all. How could he possibly understand how his friends were feeling? Kouji especially? It was true that he had lost one of his longest and closest friends no more than a week ago, and yet… he didn't feel like the others. He didn't think it was grief he was feeling; he was feeling a little bit of guilt, a little bit of anger, and a whole lot of numb. What sort of person did that make him?

Takuya tried to cover for his numb feelings by being there for his friends. He simply told his parents that it was something he _needed _to do, and after much consideration, his parents declared that as long as he came home each night, checked in with them, and was extremely careful, they understood… and it was okay.

But even though Takuya had been there to support Kouji when he was in too much pain to walk, and even though he always volunteered to get something if it was desperately needed, he knew, in truth, that he hadn't really been there for them. In all honesty, Takuya could hardly even look at Kouji—who was his best friend—and he had failed to offer him any comforting words like he always had before. He didn't really know why, but he felt more anger than sympathy towards Kouji… and _that wasn't _okay.

Someway down the hall, Zoe stopped and opened up the closet door on her left. She crept inside for a moment while Takuya waited patiently, and seconds later she emerged with a grin and a pair of crutches. Not sure exactly how he should feel, Takuya offered her a small smile and a thumbs up, and they continued towards the bathroom.

"Can you adjust these?" Zoe asked, handing Takuya the crutches. "Kouji's only like… five foot five or six."

Takuya nodded and starting messing around with them a bit. "Pretty sad that even Tommy has him beat now…" he added lightly.

Zoe chuckled softly. "Yeah," she replied simply.

They took a turn into the bathroom. Takuya snapped the crutches into place and came to rest against the doorframe as Zoe fumbled through the cabinets. Again, it felt strange to be in her house; even the bright colors of the bathroom walls seemed dull.

"_Shoot… _where are they?" Zoe mumbled, shutting one cabinet and moving onto the next.

Takuya sighed gently and continued to watch her. If there was one thing that stood out to the dullness anymore, Zoe Orimoto was just that. Even though the disappearance of her family and the loss of Kouichi had physically and emotionally drained and destroyed her, she was still able to shine bright. Takuya, after all this time, still felt captivated by her. Though he was prone to reacting harshly at times, he was no less in love with her than he always had been.

This past week had been a roller coaster of emotions. He had gone from seeing his friends at their highest and happiest points in life to their very lowest. Seeing the way Kouichi's death had crushed his brother made Takuya cringe. Currently, he felt incredibly numb when it came to the topic of his lost friend, but seeing how it had affected Kouji and the others made Takuya think that the agony would certainly hit him someday. He didn't want to feel that; he didn't want to haveto suffer.

He just wanted to to be able to feel right again; the numb feeling was depressing and bearing down on him. He wanted to be happy and careless and free—with Zoe in his arms and all five of his friends happily by his side. Was that too much to ask?

"Yes! Found 'em!"

He snapped back to reality and faced Zoe as she cried out. In her grip, she held a small blue bottle of painkillers. He couldn't help but smile at her.

Zoe grabbed a few other things—bandages, hydrogen peroxide, and a few clean washcloths—before turning back to face him. "I just need to grab a bag from my room and we're good to go!" she exclaimed. "Do we need anything else?"

She started to walk past him, but Takuya held out an arm to stop her. She stepped back, glancing up at Takuya with a bewildered expression.

"I have something on my mind that I need to talk to you about…" he started, locking his eyes with hers. "It's been bothering me for a while, and I've been putting off telling you…. I need you to know that I still have feelings for you, Zoe. I don't want you to think that—"

"—Takuya."

Takuya froze, instantly regretting having said anything. Why did he always act before thinking things through?

Zoe looked away, clearly less lively than before. "I don't want to get into this right now…" she whispered. "I can't even think straight with all that's happened. Kouichi—" she seemed to choke on his name "—just died."

There was an awful pause between them before she continued.

"This—this whole trip—is for _Kouji. _He's hurting pretty badly, and we have to do everything in our power to make sure he starts getting better. I can't even imagine—"

"—Oh, I see," Takuya interrupted. He bit his lip and glanced away as she looked in his direction. His heart was beating against his chest angrily, and he fought to control his feelings. "So this is all about Kouji? It's him you're into now?"

Zoe gasped audibly. "Are you _kidding _me?" she snapped, glaring daggers into Takuya's face. "I knew you could be a knucklehead, Takuya, but I never thought you'd be _this _selfish. Kouji is supposed to be your _best friend. _He just lost his entire family, _and_ he's seriously hurt, and all you're worried about is a budding relationship!"

A package of bandages hit Takuya in the chest. He looked forward, eyes wide. "Zoe…" he mumbled, shaking his head and instantly regretting bring Kouji into the situation. "I didn't mean it. You're right, I was being selfish. It's just that… I'm letting my emotions get the best of me. I care _so _much about you... and _Kouji_—"

"—_Kouji _isn't being selfish like you. Your selfishness is what broke us up in the first place!"

Takuya cringed. He had hoped that she wouldn't mention the end of their old relationship, but it seemed like it was inevitable. He suddenly felt a great deal of shame. How could he throw his supposed best friend under the bus, despite all that had happened, and not feel badly about it? What right did he have to confront Zoe about their relationship after all he had done?

Zoe sighed heavily and leaned over to pick up the fallen bandages. Standing back up, she came face to face with Takuya.

"This isn't my fault," she said, in part to herself. "_I _didn't ruin this relationship. Just because I don't feel the same way anymore doesn't make me a bad person. Just because I care about Kouji doesn't make _either_ of us a bad person. If you cared about me as much as you say you do, you wouldn't have fucked up in the first place. _You _messed things up, Takuya. _You _cheated on _me_."

And with that, Zoe blew past him and sauntered down the hall.

A moment later, Takuya followed her.

* * *

><p><strong>KOUJI<strong>

"Wow, it's still raining pretty hard, huh?"

Kouji looked out the window at JP's words. He couldn't see much, of course, but the usual mass of blurry gray was even darker than normal; the storm wasn't letting up any_. _Without another word, he averted his eyes to his lap again. In his hands, he held his old bandana. It felt smooth against his scarred hands, and he laced it between his fingers a few times. The strange dream he'd had about his mother was still haunting him.

More than that, however, Kouji was currently dealing with a horrid amount of guilt and shame. Between the cold words he had yelled at Yutaka and the threat he had hissed at Zoe and Takuya, Kouji could barely stand himself in that instance. He didn't know what came over him sometimes—why he said the things he did.

Tommy was one of his best friends, and to even insinuate slightly to his elder brother that it could have been _him _that was dead was a horrible thing to do. Kouji didn't mean it; he didn't want Tommy to be gone from his life either. However, perhaps the most shameful thing for Kouji to know was that if he could have picked between Tommy and Kouichi… it wasn't something he would ever admit out loud. Kouji swallowed painfully at the thought. He felt enough guilt that he hadn't thought to push Kouichi out of harm's way.

He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth together. How could he be so screwed up? How could he tell Zoe and Takuya that if something happened to them, he would never forgive himself? How could he put such guilt on their shoulders—especially if something _did _happen to them? What if they died thinking that they had caused him more pain? Kouji shuddered at those thoughts. How could he do that to Zoe…?

… And Takuya.

Kouji opened his eyes again, guilt continuing to stab at his heart. He couldn't help those aggravating, prickling feelings towards Zoe. She had always drawn him in, and although recent events had made him cold and dejected, that hadn't changed one bit. Zoe seemed to be the only one who was able to comfort him anymore. From gently touching feet under the lunch table to sharing short, blush-worthy glances, Kouji could not tell himself that their friendship had stayed simply a friendship for him… and he felt horrible about that. He felt horrible because he had said such wretched things to her, he felt horrible because Takuya still loved her, and he felt horrible because he had liked her all along.

With all that guilt and shame building on him, Kouji thought he might be ill. He set his bandana aside and, mindful of his bad leg, used the armrests of the chair to push himself onto his good foot.

"Where're _you_ off to?" Yutaka asked, starting towards the fireplace.

Kouji didn't face him.

"Don't worry about it."

He heard JP and Tommy chuckle slightly as he limped out of the room and down the hall. It was a process, that was for sure, but he had, for the most part, grown numb to the physical pain. After fumbling blindly for the door handle, Kouji entered the bathroom and locked it behind him. Though it was morning, it was awfully dark in the room, which made Kouji's terrible vision even worse. He didn't bother to search for the light switch… it wasn't worth it.

Stumbling to the sink, Kouji ran the water over his unbandaged hand and splashed it on his face. He needed to stay awake until Zoe and Takuya came back, and in his current state, he was feeling pretty tired. The cool water felt good on his sore eyes. He took a deep breath and tried to stop thinking so hard about everything. What good was it doing him anyway?

But as Kouji set his hands down on the counter, a sudden, sharp pain pricked the palm of his hand.

"Ouch…" he hissed quietly, pulling his arm away.

Glancing down, he noticed a blurry pair of bright orange scissors lying abandoned where he had placed his right hand. One of the others must have used them to open a package of bandages in the cupboard above, he guessed. Kouji looked back at his hand just in time to see a faint drop of blood slide down his wrist.

Suddenly, Kouji felt weak.

He took the scissors is his hand and slowly lowered himself to the floor. For a while, he just stared at the blurred, but sharp, object in the palms of his hands. It seemed like everywhere he went—whatever he did—there was some sort of pain waiting for him. His friends saw him suffer and go on, and they often commented on his strength… he _hated _that.

As far as Kouji was concerned, he wasn't strong at all… not without Kouichi. His brother was the only one who could pick him up when he fell. Without him, he kept messing up everything that was good in his world, and it was only going to get worse from there on out. The monsters were going to come back—he still felt it. He didn't know why he and Kouichi were the only ones able to sense the eeriness, but that didn't matter.

Kouji shut his eyes and opened the scissors. They made a slicing sound that seemed to echo in his ears.

Slowly, his mind began to drift. Memories began to replay—the only images that were clear to him anymore. He saw the digital world. He saw Kouichi catching his shoulders as the Trailmon jolted on its tracks. He saw himself smile and say "thanks, bro" as his brother stopped a heavy piece of wood from collapsing on him. He saw his two homes. He saw Kouichi pull him into his lap when he was injured and entwine their fingers, telling him it was going to be okay. He saw himself leaning on Kouichi and taking a deep breath after a bad day—something that had always made him feel better.

Without Kouichi, Kouji knew he was practically useless; half of him had been ripped away forever. His mother, father, and step-mother were probably gone too, and understanding that destroyed any shred of dignity Kouji had left for himself.

The world would be better off without him.

Kouji knew very well that he wasn't worth the recovery that his friends were risking their lives for. In that fragile moment, he also knew that he needed to suffer for all this damage he was causing. He needed to suffer for being at fault for his own brother's death. It was his fault… _he _could have stopped it.

He held the open scissors just over his right wrist. His left arm trembled heavily, but other than that, it did not move. Kouji gritted his teeth together, and a moment later, he shut his eyes and bowed his head. His eyes began to sting badly; soon, tears were dripping down his cheeks. The hatred he felt towards himself was overwhelming.

Suddenly, before he even realized that he had moved, Kouji felt the cold metal on his wrist. Shaking, he turned the blade onto it's sharp side.

_Don't do it, Kouji, _a voice in the back hissed… but it was too late.

He slit his wrist.

At first, there was a sharp sting, but then the cut opened up… and he felt relieved. He did it again and again, and with each slice, he felt a little better. It was a solution Kouji had always told himself he would never come to, but he was running out of options. Doing this allowed him to take his guilt and frustrations out on himself, and he was able to deal with the pain he had been feeling. All Kouji wanted was to become completely numb to the constant pain, and with each slice on his arm, he was feeling less and less overwhelmed.

It wasn't condonable…

It wasn't excusable…

And it wasn't healthy...

But at that point, he was willing to do anything to make it all go away.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 2 END.<strong>


	4. Burned Bridges

A/N: Chapter 3 is here at last!

Again, I hugely appreciate the wonderful reviews. They give me such awesome muse for continuing the story! Immortal Fallen Radiance, thank you for the constructive response. As far as the hospital issue goes, I intentionally made it so that a hospital could not be reached—not in walking distance, at least—for the purpose of the plot. Now that Kouji can walk, they plan on traveling there. You'll see!

Thanks, and enjoy!

**Dangerous Memories  
><strong>August 10, 2008  
>Revised: March 17, 2012<br>Chapter 3: Burned Bridges  
><em>"But you went away<br>__How dare you  
><em>_I miss you  
><em>_They say I'll be okay  
><em>_But I'm not going to  
><em>_Ever get  
><em>_Over you."  
><em>- Miranda Lambert, _Over You_

**KOUJI**

The door slammed shut.

Kouji jerked awake and curled forward, panting and clutching the blanket that had been placed over him. He had fallen asleep, he realized, and he didn't know for how long. His mind was in a horrible haze.

Somebody touched his shoulder gently. Kouji turned his head and came face-to-face with Zoe. For the slightest, most fragile moment, he thought he might still be dreaming. Then, as Zoe reached to run a hand through his hair, Kouji bowed his head and sighed heavily in relief. She was alright. She was alive, and from the corner of his eyes, he could see that Takuya was present and unharmed as well.

"I didn't mean it…" he whispered pathetically.

And even though his words were particularly vague, Zoe seemed to know well enough what he meant. She leaned in to wrap her warm arms around his neck, and he wrapped an arm around her back, and for a while, they just stayed that way—never speaking, never turning away. Kouji allowed the moment to sink in slowly. Relief melted over his sore limbs, bruises, and cuts. They were _alive _and _well._

Eventually, Kouji took a deep breath and gathered the strength to finally pull away. Zoe knelt down close beside him, placing her hand on his. He shut his eyes briefly and then turned to face Takuya. His damaged orbs truly could not find and focus on Takuya's brown ones, but as the brunette turned in his direction, he felt the connection between them. They shared a small, understanding glance before looking away again. Words, it seemed, just were not enough to express what Kouji was feeling.

"Are you still in a lot of pain?" Yutaka asked from Kouji's right. "Takuya and Zoe were able to find some pretty strong pain killers."

Kouji found himself unable to meet his friends' eyes at those words. Beneath his long-sleeve, his arms were ridden with ugly scars. In that instance, having moved his bad leg very little, his arms were the most painful injury. Nevertheless, he had been through worse, and he knew that if he stayed still, he could deal fairly well with his stinging scars and his aching body. After all, he didn't need his friends to worry any more than they already were.

He picked his head up and finally faced Yutaka. "No," he said. "I'm fine."

"You'll definitely heal faster if you stay off of that leg," JP added from across the room. "Thank god Taky and Zoe found those crutches."

Kouji nodded, knowing he should be thankful. His mind, however, was still slightly in panic-mode from when the two had first left. He was more grateful that they had returned at all; he wouldn't have cared if they had come back empty-handed!

"Not that you guys aren't great doctors…" Kouji started, trying to lighten the mood, though his voice was dry… "but we really should get moving soon. A hospital would be nice, but we really need to find out why everybody hasn't returned."

They needed to know—_he _needed to know—where their parents were. They had tried looking out over the horizon for signs of life, but it seemed like there was nothing but gray skies that stretched for miles and miles. It was frustrating because Kouji _knew _his family; they wouldn't just _not _come back if there wasn't something preventing them. He just hoped that prevention wasn't death.

"I agree!" Tommy exclaimed. "How did it look out there, guys?"

Takuya shrugged and crossed his arms. "It's pretty foggy right now because of the storm, and the rain is coming down hard. It was hard to see much."

"We didn't hear anything at all," Zoe added, sounding hopeful. "It's been nothing but silence since we were attacked. Maybe they really did go away."

Kouji shook his head. "No," he said. "We can't see them, but they're still close. I just… I can feel it. I don't know where they went away or why. I'm not really even sure how they got here… but they're still around. That much I'm sure of."

Nobody questioned Kouji's instinct; they never did. Since their time in the digital world and discovering their powers of light and darkness, Kouji and Kouichi had found that they had some sort of sixth sense. For whatever strange reason, he and his brother were extremely intuitive—especially together.

He clutched the arm of the chair. His arms itched. He couldn't even _think _of Kouichi without feeling ill. Considering his brother was always on his mind, Kouji didn't know how much longer he could hold it all in.

"Considering you've been limping around for a week now, we should at least wait a day or two to rest. The hospital is miles from here," JP suggested, shrugging his shoulders. "Even with crutches, you could easily damage your leg further, and with your eyes, you won't be able to see anything—especially in this fog."

Kouji groaned as the others whispered in agreement. He was itching to leave; this place didn't feel safe anymore. "One day," he stated. "We're leaving tomorrow."

Nobody attempted to argue with him

Eventually, everyone seemed to settle in and take time to relax. It wasn't long before Takuya had drifted off into a nap, and the others were chatting silently in the other room. Everything was silent other than Takuya's light snoring, the crackling of the fire, and the sound of Zoe breathing.

She still hadn't moved from his side, and for that, Kouji was extremely thankful. He leaned on her shoulder as she rubbed the top of his hand soothingly. With her beside him, Kouji felt significantly less alone and less weak. He didn't feel pressured to be guilty or harm himself in any way. He just felt… comfortable.

He closed his eyes, still rather tired. If he could just get a few hours of decent, uninterrupted rest, he knew he would start feeling at least a little bit stronger. Kouichi was gone, but at least he had all of their friends safe and sound around him. It was not the same—in fact, it was painfully different—but knowing that he could not change the way things were had instantly pulled Kouji out of the denial stage.

Besides, he knew it in his heart; the line that connected him to Kouichi seemed instead to just stretch endlessly. He couldn't feel his brother anymore.

"You're going to be okay."

Zoe's words brought Kouji out of his thoughts. He opened his eyes and looked at her curiously. She wasn't even looking at him.

"You have to be okay," she continued. "For me."

Kouji sighed gently.

"I don't know if I can promise you that," he whispered, staring down at his lap.

Zoe laced their fingers together.

"Well, I'm never going to leave your side. I _can_ promise you that."

Kouji leaned into her and sighed gently, but the moment between them was short-lived as JP, Tommy, and Yutaka came back into the room. JP had something in his grip that Kouji's eyes could not pick up, but for whatever reason, he felt some uneasiness because of it. Maybe it was because there was never a lasting moment of ease anymore; nothing good ever came out of these past few days.

JP kneeled down beside him. "We should probably re-bandage your leg."

At those words, Kouji felt his insides twist. There were times when Kouji was actually thankful for being nearly-blind, and this was one of those times. At this point, he knew that between his eyes and his mangled knee, he wasn't looking too great. Even with his heavily damaged vision, he could see the odd angle his knee was set at; he could see the strange discoloration and vicious burns. He hated looking at it because it reminded him of that day. What the lightning did to him—what it took away from him—was unbearable to remember.

Kouji knew he had to see the damage himself, though. It was his body that was in danger, and considering everything that had happened outside of his control, he wanted control over his own limbs. He needed to know.

"Fine," he whispered, sounding rather short with his friend.

Together, they fixed his position so that he was sitting on the edge of the seat. His bad leg was outstretched so that his heel touched the floor. Kouji cringed looking at it. His leg should have been straight in that position, but it wasn't; it was bent in all the wrong ways.

As JP began to unravel the old bandages, Zoe placed her hand on Kouji's. He relaxed slightly beneath her gentle touch, but the overall anxiety barely diminished. JP had only unwrapped his leg just a little bit, and Kouji could already tell it was bad. The older boy was biting his lip—trying to be incredibly careful—and the bruising and burns were already visible to Kouji's terrible sight.

A moment later, his blurry vision picked up on the deep gash in his knee. He couldn't stand to look at it anymore. He shut his eyes. It had all happened so fast that day, but Kouji could vaguely remember what it felt like when the lightning shot up his leg and into his eyes.

A shudder raced down his spine, and his body trembled in response—jerking his leg. A small yelp broke through his lips as the pain shot down up and down his leg. Zoe gripped the palm of his hand, and he squeezed her's in return. Kouji shut his eyes tighter as the memories he had fought so hard to destroy came flooding back.

_They're… from the Digital World…._

_Listen to us! Goddammit, listen to us!_

_Kouji… Kouji, relax…. Come on, you're bleeding…._

_Something's wrong._

_Something doesn't feel… right…._

_Kouichi…._

_**CRACK!**_

The violent crack of that tremendous strike of lightning seemed to hit Kouji all over again. His spine went completely straight, and he cried out in horrific pain. The world around him went completely quiet. He could only hear the scarring cries of his beloved friends; he could only feel the horrid burning of his eyes and the agonizing destruction of his right leg. Oh, god. Oh, _no. _This couldn't be happening—it couldn't be real!

"KOUJI! KOUJI, SNAP OUT OF IT!"

Realization hit Kouji like a two-ton brick. He was no longer in immediate danger. He was surrounded by his friends. He had just had a horrible flashback… and that was all… but Kouichi was _still _gone; that didn't change.

He forced his eyes open. His arms were raised slightly from the arms of the chairs—trembling heavily—and his entire body felt stiff. JP had Kouji's shoulders pinned to the back of the chair, and he panted heavily as he stood over the younger male. Zoe had backed far away from him, and Takuya, obviously awakened, stood by her side. Yutaka had pulled Tommy away as well.

Kouji narrowed his eyes and looked away from JP, clenching his teeth. He didn't know what to say; he couldn't find the words. Frankly, it was embarrassing—especially after he had thought he would finally have control.

Suddenly, Kouji just wanted to be alone again. It was only moments ago that Zoe had told him they would never leave his side, and yet, there he was—recovering from some painful flashback—and only JP was at his side. Everybody had backed away. They were scared to touch him—perhaps even afraid that he would hurt them. Whatever the reason, the others did not like to see Kouji the way he was.

The only one who would ever completely understand him was Kouichi, and he didn't even have him anymore. That made this whole struggle seem hopeless. His parents were probably gone anyway. Why should he still be around when he didn't even have friends to depend on?

"Let go of me, JP."

JP looked startled at Kouji's bitter words, but he didn't move.

"I… but, your leg—"

"—I don't care. Let go."

Yutaka took a few steps towards them. "You shouldn't be so nasty about this. JP is helping you, so put away your pride for a second and calm down."

"Yutaka!" Tommy cried, flustered by his brother's words.

"Fuck _you_!" Kouji snarled, bristling at those stinging words. It was clear that Yutaka was bitter about what Kouji had said about Tommy. "I don't care how old you are. You're not in charge here, so don't talk to me like that! You have no idea what's even going on, so you'd be wise to keep your mouth shut!"

"Kouji!" Zoe yelped. "Guys, don't fight!"

But Kouji meant it. He meant every word. Yutaka had no idea what they had been through—what he had been through. How could he take charge when he was clueless? He knew nothing about the digital world, and as far as he was concerned, they had been attacked by some sort of terrible monster.

Suddenly, Yutaka was directly in Kouji's face. JP let go of him and backed up slightly.

"You know what, Minamoto?" the elder male started, waving a finger in front of Kouji's eyes. "I feel sorry for you. I do. When Tommy first introduced me to you, I didn't like you anymore than I do now. You saved my brother's life, so I'm _trying _not to let you bother me, but you're such a little bastard. You're legally blind, you can't walk to save your life, and you _probably _have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder… but instead of accepting help from your friends, you act like it's their fault! If Kouichi was the twin that survived, he'd actually be _grateful _for what he has!"

Kouji lurched forward, ready to tear Yutaka apart, but someone caught him around the chest before he could reach. He was sure the others had reacted too, but he was too enraged—too blinded by red-hot anger—that he didn't pay it any attention.

"GRATEFUL? _GRATEFUL?" _he screamed, his voice growing hoarse. "YOU THINK I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE?"

He wished so badly he could properly gauge the expression on Yutaka's face; he wanted him to suffer for even mentioning his brother's name. Kouji knew well enough that it should have been him who died—not Kouichi. He didn't _know _why fate had spared his life, and he didn't want to be reminded of it!

"What _do _I have?" he howled. "I have friends who can't even stand the sight of me. I have _nobody_! And don't talk about Kouichi like you know him, because you don't! You don't understand us at all, so stop trying to tell me what _I_ should do! Nobody here has actually lost somebody yet, and even if they had, they _still _wouldn't get it!"

"If I didn't know you were 17, I would have guessed you were a bratty little nine-year-old."

"Says _you_! You're supposed to be an adult, and you're picking fights with a teenager!"

"That's because somebody needs to put you in your pla—"

"—STOP! JUST STOP IT ALREADY!"

Both Kouji and Yutaka froze and looked in the sound of the distressed voice. There stood Tommy, who Kouji couldn't see very well, but it didn't seem to matter. Just by the sound of his voice, Kouji could tell that the fourteen-year-old was in tears. It made him feel ill. It had been years—_years—_since Kouji had seen Tommy cry. The boy was still young, but he was tall and strong—more so than Kouji himself had ever been. He was strong-willed and hard-to-break; he was a shadow of his former self. So knowing that he had been the one to shatter him made Kouji feel beyond disgusted with himself.

"I can't… I can't take it anymore…" Tommy whispered, shaking his head. "I can't stand this constant tension. I can't have my brother and one of my best friends yelling these awful things at each other."

Yutaka pulled away from Kouji and outstretched an arm towards his little brother. "Tom… I didn't… I didn't mean to—"

"—It seriously makes me feel sick," Tommy interrupted. "I can't stand to see someone I care about in so much pain."

Kouji cringed, knowing very well that Tommy was speaking about him. The guilt he had felt earlier came rushing back.

"I don't know what to think anymore…" the young brunette went on, his voice shaking. "I still haven't even fully processed the fact that Kouichi died last week. Our best friend is gone, and we've barely even talked about it—like we don't even care. It's like our friendships are falling apart at the seams. We can't just keep all off this locked up inside."

Takuya approached Tommy and tried to console him, but the boy seemed to shrug him off. For a moment, Kouji watched as Tommy wiped his eyes and regained control over his emotions. He was right… but…

"I don't want to talk about it."

The others looked in his direction, and he felt Yutaka's icy glare fall over him, but he didn't care. It destroyed him to talk about Kouichi. If his friends cared about him at all, they would respect his decision and let it go. Kouji didn't want his twin to slip away from his memory, but right now… remembering that Kouichi was gone was insufferable.

He heard sobbing. Lifting his head, Kouji found that it was coming from Zoe… and if he had to guess—from the heavy tension in the room—he had a feeling that she was not the only one in tears. It took Kouji only a second to notice that tears were dripping off of his jaw too.

And in that moment—angry, upset, hurt, and lonely in a room full of people—Kouji realized that he missed his brother so much more than he had thought. He didn't think that he was going to make it through. He just wanted to give up.

"Not now."

Kouji glanced down at JP, who had kneeled before him and was continuing to re-bandage his leg. His friend kept his head down, focusing on peeling off the bandages. He could feel hot tears dripping onto his ankle.

"Not yet," JP repeated. "We're not ready to talk about it yet."

And then it went completely silent, and it was like that for another three hours.

* * *

><p><strong>JP<strong>

"Excuse me… you did _what_?"

He couldn't help the utter surprise in his voice. What Takuya had just told him had caught JP totally off guard. The younger brunette shuffled uneasily, his brown eyes locked on his tea.

"You heard me."

Why, JP wondered, did everything seem to be going so terribly wrong in this world? It would have been one thing if his parents were just missing, but no. First, the digimon—their presumed friends from so many years ago—had attacked them and killed and injured two of their own…. then Kouji fell apart… then Tommy fell apart… then Zoe… and JP was doing his best to stay strong for them. In their group, he was the oldest; he was responsible for them. But now there was some sort of painful strain between Takuya and Zoe, and he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do.

JP took a deep breath, sipped his tea, and shook his head. "That's… kind of awkward timing, don't you think?"

In reality, he could understand why Takuya would have told Zoe how he was feeling; he wanted her to know in case something happened to one of them. However, considering the circumstances, it probably hadn't been the best idea. Especially since…

He glanced out into the living room. Seated together were Kouji and Zoe, and the two looked especially… comfortable. Kouji still had a sense of anxiousness about him (his need to leave as soon as possible was particular concerning), but near her side, he looked much more at ease. JP couldn't help but think there was something happening between them, and it had been happening long before this all began. Death did strange things to people, he noted; while it seemed to push some people away from each other, it pushed others together.

And though JP felt particularly bad for Takuya—knowing how much he still cared for her—he also felt happy for Kouji. They had all lost a best friend when Kouichi was killed, but for Kouji, it was so much more than that. He deserved to have a little happiness in his life.

"I know…" Takuya whispered at last. "I just had to say it. It was driving me _nuts_."

A small moment passed. JP looked out at Kouji again before turning back to Takuya.

"I have to ask… did something happen between you guys?"

Takuya's sharp brown eyes locked onto him, looking rather agitated. "Of course something happened between us! I made one stupid mistake, and now she—"

"—What? Wait, no!" JP managed, shaking his hands in Takuya's face to get him to be quiet. He didn't really want anyone else listening in on their conversation, and when they were all there together in a one-floor house, it wasn't necessarily easy to get away from. "I'm talking about Kouji," he explained. "You guys have always been so close, and now things just… seem really distant between you two."

The younger brunette's hard expression slowly softened, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. JP bit his lip, wondering if he should pursue the subject.

"It's just that—and don't take this the wrong way—I know this has been hard for all of us, but if anyone was gonna be there for Kouji, I kinda figured it would be you."

JP half-expected Takuya to be angry with him—to stubbornly retaliate that Kouji _was _his best friend, and he _was _there for him—but he didn't. There was something painfully different about Takuya lately. He wasn't the same rash, energetic, friendly person JP had known for all these years. In fact, just looking at him was like looking at an entirely different individual, and he didn't like it one bit.

"I don't know how to feel about Kouji anymore…" Takuya mumbled, knitting his eyebrows together. "I can't even look at him."

JP could not be angry at Takuya for what he said. A part of him was a little bit frustrated that his friend was so distant when Kouji needed them… but the numbness in Takuya's voice made JP feel for badly for him. He had never seen Takuya so… lost.

He folded his hands in his lap and sighed gently.

"Is this about… Zoe?" he asked, keeping his voice low.

Takuya paused briefly, then shook his head. "Not really… no. I don't know," he said. "I mean, I guess it _does _bother me, but it's like… I just don't know how to… I don't know. I really don't, okay?"

JP bit his lip. "Okay…" he replied solemnly, letting it be.

A few awkward minutes followed the end of the conversation. JP wished he could find the words to fix this—to fix all of this. It seemed that everybody was at a loss when it came to doing the right thing. It was hard, however, to think about doing the _right _thing when everything in their lives was going _wrong._

JP turned towards the kitchen window. Outside, it was murky and gray. He didn't know why the sun couldn't just shine through for a few hours. He didn't know why everything was literally just falling apart. He didn't know why nobody was helping them—why the digital world had turned on them.

Where where Seraphimon, Cherubimon, and Ophanimon? Where were Bokomon and Neemon? Where were their spirits when they so desperately needed them?

And Kouji and Kouichi. They were light and darkness, and if there was one thing he had learned so many years ago, it was that those two elements could not survive without each other. Together, they were something so special. Was that why Kouji was becoming more and more breakable by the day? Was his connection with Kouichi so much more powerful than anybody in the entire world could ever fathom?

_Light and darkness are brothers! _Patamon had once told them. _They're twins! They operate together, and they depend on each other!_

JP covered his face with his hands, fighting his stinging hazel eyes. He wanted so badly to stay strong, but he was breaking too. He couldn't help it anymore; Kouichi's absence from their group had left a deep, aching hole in his heart. It had only been a week, and yet it was already so painstakingly clear that Kouichi was dead… and JP couldn't help but miss him terribly.

But before the memories could start replaying, Takuya interrupted his thoughts.

"Can I tell you something?"

JP snapped back to reality and faced the other brunette. "Yeah, of course, Taky."

Takuya stood from his seat and sauntered a few feet away from him. "I… I'm not really sure how to say this without saying it wrong, but…. Well, I… I don't think I can go with you guys tomorrow."

JP narrowed his eyes, trying to fully process what Takuya was saying.

"Why?"

He hadn't meant for the question to come out so rough, but it did. Looking at Takuya's situation was extremely aggravating at times; he had his entire family alive and well. As for JP and the others, they weren't so sure about that. The last time JP had spoken with his mother and father was when they called the morning of the attack. Without any communication available—no service for their now-dead cell phones and no electricity—there was no checking to see if they were okay. They _needed _to leave this town… they needed to find civilization and a _hospital… _and they _needed _to stick together.

Takuya took a deep breath and released it slowly. "I want to help you guys. It's just… I can't leave my family. They need me. What is something happened to them? Or Shinya?"

"Why don't you ask Kouji?" JP snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm sure he knows what it feels like to lose your brother. What happened to those times when we all used to be there for each other?"

At those words, Takuya visibly flinched and turned away, and JP instantly regretted saying what he did. He started to cool down, realizing that it wasn't Takuya's fault that he had gotten off "lucky." If it had been _his _family that was known to be alive and well, JP knew he wouldn't want to leave them either.

"I don't know what happened…" Takuya answered softly. "But I guess you guys should do just fine without me anyway… since I'm such a bad friend."

JP stood from his seat, feeling both upset and guilt-ridden. "Takuya, that's not what I me—"

"—Guys?"

Both JP and Takuya turned around, surprised by the urgency in the voice behind them. Zoe was standing there, looking visibly shaken, while Kouji stood on crutches a few feet behind her. He looked just as bad—if not worse.

"What is it?" JP demanded, worried by the frightened disposition of his friends. "Is everything okay?"

"There's a house on fire down the street…" Zoe whispered. "Guys, we need to leave now, or it's gonna be us next!"

Takuya pushed by them and headed frantically for the hallway, calling for Tommy and Yutaka. JP barely moved, but on the inside, he was panicking. What should they bring? What direction should they even move in? What if they went the wrong way? What if… something went horribly wrong _again_?

"Did you see them out there?" Takuya asked, re-entering the room with Tommy and Yutaka, who both looked terribly stirred.

Zoe reached for the painkillers on the counter. "No," she said, her hands trembling. "But Kouji—"

"—We need to go," Kouji interrupted, fixing his position on his crutches. "I can feel it. Something's not right. We need to go _now._"

JP took a step forward. "But we need to gather supplies and—"

All of a sudden, in the midst of the panic and hysteria, everything went dark.

The six of them froze, listening for anything but also hoping trying to remain as still and silent as possible. JP swallowed the hard lump in his throat and looked out the window. Against the already gray atmosphere, there was an enormous shadow—the outline of something whose familiar presence struck terror in the pit of his stomach.

He could hear it happening all over again. He could see the lifeless, infinite stare in Kouichi's eyes as he lay on the ground, covered in his own blood. He could feel nothing but the panic and heartache and hopelessness that he had felt last week. _Please go away… _he begged silently, shutting his eyes and clenching his fists. _Please just leave us alone._

And for a second, he thought maybe it _had_ gone away… until the lightning struck the house.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 3 END.<strong>


	5. Things Change

A/N: I realize it's been a while, but this was a long and taxing chapter to write. I hope you're all still around! Please continue to read and leave your wonderful reviews! Thank you so much!

**Dangerous Memories **  
>Revised: May 8, 2012<br>Chapter 4: Things Change  
>"<em>I'm hitting the switch, watch the lights go out.<br>Watch the lights go out.  
>I hope you ache, ache, ache.<br>I hope you ache, ache ache."  
><em>— Demi Lovato, Mistake

**KOUJI**

He didn't know what was happening—not really.

His consciousness had picked up on the fact that he was being tugged and pushed out of the house, but it was his subconscious that was at work. That horrible screech—that blinding dash of lightning that went straight through the ceiling and crashed at their feet—was all too recognizable. It had been a week or so (he had honestly lost all sense of time in that agonizing moment), and Kouji could still hear the sounds of that attack as clear as day.

This digimon—this _monster—_was the reason he had lost his sight and any reasonable walking ability. It was the reason Kouichi was dead and gone from his life _forever. _It was the reason Kouji would never be all right again… and for a while, he didn't know how to process that. He didn't even know where he was.

It wasn't until the most harrowing white-hot pain shot up his thigh (he swore he heard something crack) and caused him to collapse that he opened his eyes. The others continued to pull at him, but Kouji's blurry vision was focused on deciphering the image before him. Down the hill (how they had managed to drag Kouji so far so quickly was beyond him), hidden somewhat by the fog, were many dark and daunting shadowy figures. One figure, however, stood out to him immediately. Kouji didn't remember ever looking at the creature that had ruined his entire life, but looking at this faint image of a large, winged bird, he instantly knew it was the one.

Revenge. After all this time, avenging his brother's death was, strangely, something he hadn't thought about. He had been too caught up in trying to figure out how to _deal _with Kouichi being gone that he hadn't even thought about it. But now, conscious and fully aware of what the monster had taken away from him, Kouji was absolutely filled with _rage._

Hot tears glazed over and burned his damaged eyes. He stood on his good leg, his limbs trembling heavily, and he gritted his teeth together when he realized two of his friends were holding him back by his arms.

"_Let go,_" he demanded, softly but surely.

"Are you kidding me?" Takuya's voice snapped. "Kouji, we need to—"

"—LET GO!"

Somehow, he managed to rip away from Takuya and whoever else was holding him. Nevertheless, two more managed to grab onto him before he could get very far at all. He didn't know what he could possibly do in his state, but he _did _know that he wanted to get _revenge. _He didn't even have his D-Tector, but he was beyond willing to blindly go after the creature himself. It didn't _matter _anymore.

He tried to lunge forward again, but his efforts proved useless; it seemed like everybody had suddenly taken hold of him and were pulling him away. Kouji grunted, twisted, and turned, desperately trying to escape their grip.

"STOP!" he hollered, furiously scrambling. "_STOP_!"

But nobody heard him. They only continued to drag him further and further away. It was pointless. They would never understand.

Kouji bowed his head.

"It's not _fair…_" was all he could mutter, defeated. "It's not fair…."

* * *

><p>The streets were abandoned. Every corner and every alleyway were filled with nothing but fog and what was left of buildings. Had people really escaped? Had anyone, aside from what was left of the group, actually survived? And to think, the others could have left to safety at any time. They should have left him for dead with his brother when they discovered his injuries. But <em>no. <em>They had to _save _him. They clearly had no idea that saving him only made things worse; Kouji had to suffer for the rest of his life, and their chance of getting out alive had just diminished greatly.

He stopped walking to readjust himself. His crutches were hurting his arms, and his leg was worse than before. He wasn't sure what exactly had been wrong with it before, but now at least one thing was certain: it was broken. There was just no fixing it anymore; he doubted that there was anything that could be done. Kouji wanted to collapse right then and there. He was tired, and he was done. He wanted to admit defeat and let it be over with, but he couldn't. They wouldn't let him. They wouldn't even let him have his revenge.

Zoe and JP were flanking his sides protectively. Though the fog was hiding them fairly well, it was true that absolutely anything could happen. Somewhere in the distance, Kouji thought he heard the faint echo of a dog's bark. The others did not seem to notice or at least question the noise, but Kouji knew that since his eyes had been blinded, his hearing had gotten significantly more sensitive to soft noises. It made him think of his old dog.

Wolf had been his companion for years. He growled at anyone who seemed to pose a threat to Kouji (even if it was just his friends trying to tickle him, and God knows just how ticklish he was). He slept at the bottom of his bed and was typically the first one to wake Kouji up in the morning. And besides their mother, Wolf was the only one who could not be tricked when Kouji and Kouichi switched places. He just seemed to know Kouji too well.

The memories almost made Kouji smile slightly, despite all the pain he was feeling. For whatever reason, Wolf had always felt slightly threatened by Kouichi—like the elder twin was going to take his place at the foot of Kouji's bed. Kouji remembered the time he came down with a nasty cold and his dad wouldn't let him walk Wolf in the crisp autumn weather. Kouichi agreed to do it, and Wolf was not impressed. Though Kousei insisted that the dog would not know the difference between the twins, it was soon clear that he did. Kouichi came home that evening covered in mud, with rope burn on his hand, and standing a safe distance away from the German Shepherd.

_I hate this dog! _He declared as he walked into the house. _And I will never walk him again!_

Everybody except Kouichi had found it to be rather hilarious. He insisted that the dog had it out for anyone who was not Kouji, while the younger twin tried to assure him that he and Wolf just needed a bond a little more.

Kouichi never got that chance, though. They had been forced to put Wolf down a year ago after finding cancer all throughout his body. Kouji had been there to comfort him as they put him to sleep, and the dog leaned in and gave him one last lick before slumping over—his muscles giving out and his heart stopping. It was one of the hardest things Kouji had ever had to do at the time, and for a while, it was hard to wake up without his companion at the foot of his bed.

But the morning after they put Wolf down, Kouji awoke to find his brother lying beside him. It was at that moment that Kouji knew he was going to be okay.

But now everything was different. With Kouichi, Kouji was not given the same privileges he had been given with Wolf. He was not given the chance to say goodbye to him; Kouichi was ripped from his life so quickly that he hardly had a chance to blink. Beneath his bandaged hand, his palm was still scarred from his brother's desperate attempt to hold on forever.

If Kouji had known, that morning when he woke up beside Kouichi, that a year later his twin would be gone, would things be different? Would the chance to say goodbye make things any easier for dealing with Kouichi's death, like it had with Wolf? And though he had always counted his blessings after Kouichi came back into his life so long ago, would he hold them that much dearer? Why did he even bother to wonder? It wasn't going to change anything.

"Get down!"

The hushed command hardly met Kouji's ears before he was suddenly hammered in the side. He went down hard, with somebody on top of him, and a sickening flare of pain shot down his leg. Somehow, he managed to only let out a small whimper, but in his head everything was suddenly wrong again. He could have sworn he heard the familiar sound of a store balcony crashing beside him.

_Kouji! Are you okay?_

_Yeah, I just… slammed my hip pretty hard. Thanks, Tommy…_

"… I would have been screwed if it wasn't for you."

Kouji opened his eyes, a bit startled by the whispered words that involuntarily poured out of his mouth (though nobody seemed to notice). He caught his breath and tried to focus on the present. It wasn't Tommy who had thrown him down—it was JP—and it wasn't because the balcony was crashing down on him, it was because the there was a giant shadow flying through the fog. For a moment, he couldn't move. The violent flashback was still messing with his head.

They stayed pinned to the ground, hidden by the fog, for a few more minutes until the figure was totally gone. Slowly, everyone began to stand. Kouji moaned lightly, reaching out aimlessly for his crutches. Someone took pity on him though, and reached down to support him and help him to his feet. It was particularly surprising when Kouji realized that said person was Yutaka. The older boy, after all, had made it pretty clear that he didn't like Kouji.

"Thank you…" he whispered, and Yutaka gave him a small nod.

"Are you okay?" JP asked from his left, and Kouji nodded. He wasn't okay—not really—but the others didn't need another reason to worry.

"Let's keep going. We've still got a while to go," he said, and his friends seemed to agree. They were likely just as anxious to find their families too.

But just as Kouji repositioned himself on his crutches, and they got ready to move again, Takuya spoke up.

"Guys, wait," he said. "I… I'm not going. I'm going home."

Kouji froze where he stood, his back to Takuya. So that was how it was going to be, was it? That was what had become of their friendship after all this tragedy? It had only been a little over a week, and Kouji already felt like he didn't even know Takuya anymore. The brunette always offered to help out when help was needed, but things were different between them. Anyone could see that.

"What do you mean you're going home?" Zoe snapped from Kouji's left. "We're supposed to stick together, Takuya! We're a team!"

Her voice was full of pain and anger; it reminded Kouji of his own. She had been holding it back, he could tell, for everybody else's sake—especially his. But Kouji knew just how worried and broken down Zoe was. She was beyond concerned for the safety and security of her family… but so was Takuya.

"We're not just a team!" JP snarled at the other brunette. "We're supposed to be a family! We're supposed to be there for each other like we always have been!"

Kouji could just barely make out Yutaka shaking his head, unimpressed, while Tommy turned away from them.

"Guys," Takuya started dryly, "I don't—"

"—Stop."

He felt them all turn in his direction, somewhat surprised by the interruption. Kouji sighed, bowed his head, and turned on his crutches to face the person he hardly knew anymore. "If you wanna go be with your family, then go. None of us can blame you for making that decision. We would all do the same thing if we were in your shoes." He turned to face the rest of them. "We're not 9 or 11 or 12 anymore. Things aren't the same as they used to be. We grew up, and we have more responsibilities than we did before. If we can't stick together anymore, then why bother getting into a fight over it?"

Wasn't it just the other day that he, Kouichi, and Takuya were making plans to throw a party? It was, but now there was some sort of unspoken war between them. Takuya hardly looked in his direction, and when he did, his face was emotionless. When he spoke to him, his words were either dry or cruel. There was no usual passion or sincerity in his voice anymore.

Kouji shook his head and looked away. "If our friendship is falling apart at the seams like this, there's nothing any of us can do about it except let it be."

It was perhaps one of the most painful things that Kouji had ever had to say in his life. These people—Takuya, Zoe, JP, and Tommy—were the best friends he had ever had. They were also the _first_ friends he'd ever had. Along with his brother, his friends were able to pull him out of a dark place. Now, however, the situation was so severe that it seemed that nothing could be done to save any of them.

"I can't leave my family here…" Takuya whispered. "These monsters are back, and I gotta get them out."

"We know," Kouji explained, still not facing the brunette. "We all know we'd do the same thing if we were in your position. Just go."

He was trying to make this fast. Takuya wanted to go one way, and they all wanted to go another. Everything was falling apart, so Kouji decided that it was best to just get it over with. There was no way they could fix this anymore.

"I'm going with you."

Kouji lifted his head, somewhat shocked by what he'd just heard. He turned to Yutaka, eyes wide and jaw slacked slightly.

"NO!" Tommy cried out. "Yutaka, no! Don't!"

A horrible shudder raced down Kouji's spine at the sound of Tommy's voice. The younger teen was desperate—suddenly on his knees in front of his older brother and curled over in pain.

"You can't do this to me! You _have _to stay."

Takuya stepped forward. "Yutaka, you should stay with Tommy—"

"—No," Yutaka interrupted, shaking his head. Though the oldest Himi brother sounded stern, Kouji could nearly feel the ache resonating from his body; it was a painful decision. "I don't want to leave you, Tommy, but it's not safe for Takuya to go alone."

"Then I'm coming with you!" Tommy insisted, standing on his toes and matching his brother's height. "You're not going without me!"

Kouji, Zoe, and JP turned from the conversation. The three of them already knew what was coming.

Yutaka sighed, his voice quivering. "I'm not letting you come, Tommy. I need you to get to safety. I need you to find mom and dad—get in touch with them somehow. I can't put your life in danger."

"Yutaka, _please, _I'll be fine by myself! Stay with him!"

It was the first time in that whole horrible week that Kouji heard clear emotion in Takuya's voice. Despite that, however, everybody already knew that Yutaka wasn't going to take no for an answer. He wasn't going to let Takuya, who he considered a brother, go alone. He wasn't going to make any of the others go because they were searching for _their _families, and Tommy was already doing that for Yutaka.

"Why can't we all just go together?" Tommy pleaded, and Kouji could tell that the younger teen was crying. "As a group."

Yutaka placed his hands on Tommy's shoulders. "You're forgetting something. Kouji could barely make it this short distance because of his bad leg—even _with _crutches. Asking him to walk all the way back would be cruel," he explained. "We are going to get Takuya's family and leave. We'll be okay, and we will meet up with you again soon—no matter what. I promise."

Tommy silently collapsed into his brother's arms, and Yutaka pulled him into a hug. Kouji could not bear the scene anymore; it was ripping him apart. He didn't want to do this to Tommy. He just wished all the numb feelings, misery, and pain would go away from all of them forever… but it wouldn't. It just kept coming.

Yutaka pulled away from Tommy, placing a hand on top of his head.

"I love you, little brother," he said. "Stay strong."

Those words made Kouji ache.

* * *

><p><strong>ZOE<strong>

She didn't want this to happen. She didn't want everything she loved so dearly to crumble into pieces.

_Kouichi… where are you when we need you so badly?_

Zoe couldn't help but wonder if Kouichi was really out there somewhere watching them. Everything that had happened was seriously making her question her own faith. What happened when you died, and was there such a thing as fate? Would everything really work out in the end, or was that just some clichéd saying used to comfort the grieving? What if they were stuck in this rut forever?

Before Kouichi, Zoe had never lost someone to death. A week ago, she never could have imagined herself in so much pain. All at once, her friend was killed, her parents had vanished, and her relationships with her friends became beyond complicated. It felt like they were trapped in this darkness eternally.

She wished she could remember why her parents hadn't been there that day. All of this terror had messed with her memory. They hadn't gone far, she knew that much, but whether it was a trip to the big grocery store or the mall… she wasn't sure. All she knew was that this town seemed to be mostly abandoned. They had failed to see another human since the attack, and nobody—no paramedics or policemen—had tried to save them. That was just… strange.

Zoe did not want to think the worse, but their parents hadn't come back to them, and it just wasn't normal.

Glancing over at Tommy, her frown deepened. The younger boy had his head bowed, and he looked devastated. Zoe did not want to blame Takuya, because she could understand his motives… but it was hard not to be angry with him. He left them when they were always supposed to be together. He left them when they needed him most. Most importantly, he took Yutaka with him, and now Tommy was left worrying about them as well as his parents. Both Takuya and Yutaka meant well, but how could they let such a burden be placed on him?

That goggled-headed idiot made her so upset at times, but he was still her friend, and she hoped so much that he would be safe.

A small groan broke Zoe from her thoughts. She looked to her right, where Kouji was struggling to keep going. His teeth were gritted together, his arms were shaking, and his face was ghost-white. He had had more than enough. She was sure that his leg was even worse than it had been before.

"We should stop for a minute…" she suggested, putting her hand on Kouji's shoulder. "You need a break, Kouji."

JP turned to them, looking rather concerned, while Tommy lifted his head in their direction.

"I'm fine…" Kouji insisted, shaking his head. "It's just painful."

"Let's go take shelter under that tree," said JP, pointing in its direction. "I grabbed bandages before we got out of there, and your leg needs to be wrapped."

Zoe nodded in agreement. "I grabbed the painkillers too. They just might make you a little drowsy."

The four of them paused to consider their options.

"Maybe we should stop for a while… rest up, y'know?" Tommy muttered from behind them. "Kouji's leg is killing him, and we've been walking for a while now."

Zoe turned back to Kouji. She fully expected him to stubbornly retort that they had to keep going, but he didn't; he just grunted and nodded his head. It was at that moment that she realized that Kouji was most likely in more pain than she had thought. She shook her head. Kouji had always been good at hiding how he was feeling, and Kouichi was that way too. That was why the only people who could read their true feelings… were each other. Zoe clenched her fists and shut her eyes, wondering how it must have felt to lose your other half. Because she was not Kouji's twin, she could not even come close to imagining the pain he felt.

"Let's make this quick," Kouji said.

They took refuge beneath the large tree JP had pointed out. Though it was autumn, and the leaves had long since dried up and fallen off the tree, it was the most secure location around. They were just outside of town now.

Zoe took the bottle of painkillers from the pouch of her sweatshirt. She poured two out in her hand and gave them to Kouji to take. They were strong—she had seen the effects on her dad after he had had his surgery—but he needed it. There was no way in hell that she expected him to keep walking on his leg like that. He needed a break.

"Should I wait until the pain starts to numb a little before doing this?" JP asked them, holding the bandages in his hand. "I need to make these bandages pretty tight to secure your leg, so it's bound to be pretty painful."

Tommy and Zoe exchanged a look before looking to Kouji for his decision. The ebony-haired male shook his head, his eyes shut tightly. "Just do it," he mumbled.

Zoe could tell, just by looking at him, that the constant pain was making him grumpy. He wanted to get it over with, of course, but she knew it wouldn't be that simple; it never was.

They helped him get down, his back pressed against the trunk of the tree. Slowly and cautiously, JP rolled the right leg of Kouji's sweatpants up. Kouji looked away, and Zoe wondered if he was worried that the sight would trigger a bad flashback again. She hoped not. It had been so frightening to see Kouji slip away from reality like that.

But as Zoe looked down at his damaged leg, she realized she didn't want to look either. His leg was bent in all the wrong ways—worse than it had been before. Thankfully, all the bad burns, gashes, and bruises were hidden beneath the first set of bandages.

"Kouji… I'm sorry…" JP muttered, biting his lip. "I'm gonna have to set your leg. It looks like it's broken."

Kouji didn't look their way. He just nodded and knitted his eyebrows together. Zoe coupled her hands and shuddered at the thought.

"JP, are you sure you should?" Tommy whispered.

The oldest of them nodded his head. "He'll be in more pain if we don't. It takes a lot of force to break the femur bone, so I'd imagine that's why it's so painful. This will hurt, but it will only last a little while." He looked to Zoe and Tommy, smiling just slightly. "Don't worry, guys. I've seen this kind of injury in football before."

Zoe sighed, deciding it was best to trust JP for now. She got up and moved over to Kouji's side.

"Are you ready?" JP asked him.

Somewhat hesitantly, Kouji nodded, and Zoe instantly laced her fingers with his. JP carefully placed his hands on Kouji's leg, and she looked away—unable to watch. Then, just a few seconds later, there was a quick '_SNAP!' _and the most miserable noise came from Kouji. He had lifted his bandana from his neck and pushed it against his mouth, suppressing his cries. Even muffled, Kouji's whines and moans were extraordinarily upsetting to hear.

"I… I'm gonna wrap it now. It'll be over soon, Kouji, I swear."

Zoe took her free hand and gently tilted Kouji's head towards her. His hand that she was holding was gripping hers so tightly that her hand was going numb. "Shhh…" she whispered, trying her best to soothe him. "It's almost done. I promise you. It's almost done."

JP started wrapping his leg, and Kouji's entire body jolted. His bandana continued to suppress his cries. Tears started to leak through his eyes, and Zoe reached up to wipe them away. "It's okay… it's okay…" she assured him.

Kouji leaned into her, and she wrapped her arm around to hug him. It was so sickening to see a person in so much emotional and physical pain—nevertheless somebody she loved so much. She remembered six years ago, in the digital world, where she first knew him as a quiet boy with an icy glare. Even back then, however, it was easy for her to look into Kouji's wonderful blue eyes and know that they were acting as a shield for the pain behind them. He was possibly the loneliest person she had ever met. Long ago, she, JP, Tommy, Takuya, and Kouichi were able to change that. Ever since, the 6 of them had become seemingly inseparable.

"Do you remember that time we were in the digital world and you offered me your coat when you saw how cold I was?"

Zoe's question made Kouji lift his head and look at her. His cloudy, bloodshot eyes made her sad, but she retained the smile on her face.

"Yeah…" he replied in a small voice, even managing the slightest smile on his face. "Of course."

At Kouji's feet, JP chuckled. "And that wasn't the only time you did that!" he exclaimed. "Remember that time we all decided to go jump in the lake when it was freezing cold? _You _gave Zoe your coat, and _you _got bronchitis!"

Zoe rolled her eyes. "Thanks for reminding him, JP. Jeez."

Kouji shook his head, smiling a bit wider. "Yeah, I remember. Then I gave it to Kouichi. He wasn't happy."

It was the first time Kouji had mentioned his brother's name in a positive light. Zoe felt her heart leap with joy. They were getting somewhere now. She didn't know that Kouji would ever be totally okay again, but he would get better. It had only been a little over a week, of course, so she was completely prepared for things to turn in the opposite direction again. But for now… this was good.

"How about that time you, JP, and Kouichi sang drunk karaoke at prom?" Tommy asked.

JP groaned, "Please! How could we forget? I'm pretty sure that's all over the Internet!"

Zoe couldn't help but snicker at the memory. "You three were singing Queen like it was your job!"

Kouji was suddenly laughing—_sincerely_ laughing. Zoe pulled back slightly, still holding his hand with both of hers. He shook his head slightly before saying, "This normally wouldn't be so funny, but I think these painkillers are kicking in."

"Well, good," JP replied with a smile. "Because I'm all done wrapping your leg."

Zoe and Kouji both glanced down, and sure enough, Kouji's leg was wrapped up nice and tight. The medicine was doing its job, but distracting Kouji from the pain helped too. It was the happiest she had seen him all week. She wanted to hug him and never let go. _Just stay like this, _she was thinking. _Don't get any worse. Only get better. Please._

"Great," Kouji said, gently sliding his hand out of Zoe's and placing it behind him to push himself up. "Then let's g—_whoa._"

"Kouji?"

"Are you alright?"

Kouji relaxed in the grass, his face paling again. Zoe went right back to holding his hand. He looked mystified by something, but she couldn't see what that was.

"Everything is… weird…" he mumbled, shutting his eyes. "It's all blurrier than normal."

Zoe bit her lip, wondering if it would have been smarter to give Kouji one pill instead of two. Two was what her dad had taken, and he hadn't been in nearly as much pain… but then again, her dad was a lot taller and bigger than Kouji. Still, these side effects were hitting him awfully fast _and _hard.

"Just keep your eyes closed, and I'm sure it will pass, Kou," JP told him as Tommy placed a hand on his shoulder.

Kouji knitted his eyebrows together and gritted his teeth, clearly uncomfortable with whatever drowsiness or vertigo he was feeling. She pulled him close to her again, praying that it would go away. Why was it that whatever happiness they ever found was short-lived? Couldn't these bad situations just stay away from them?

Zoe let out a soft groan. At this point, she was just _waiting _for the digimon to attack them; it made sense with their horrible luck. They didn't have their D-tectors anymore. They weren't able to evolve into these big, strong warriors with multiple weapons and powers at their fingertips. Six years ago, it took multiple battles and attacks to take them down… and today, it was as simple as lightning reflecting off the ground. What had they done to the digimon to deserve this? Didn't they know that she and her friends had _saved _their world?

Zoe could not imagine doing this sort of destruction to the digital world, despite the fact that the digimon were currently destroying _their _entire world. The digital world had once been considered their second home.

A sudden bright light broke Zoe from their thoughts. She pulled away from Kouji to see what was happening, and her mouth instantly dropped.

"_Kouji?_" Tommy yelped, jumping to his feet and backing up. JP seemed to be frozen.

Zoe could not believe what she was looking at. That bright light _was _Kouji; it was surrounding his entire body. Her heart thrashed against her ribcage, anxiously awaiting something to happen. Kouji was _glowing. _In the human world, that just wasn't normal! She couldn't tell if something good or bad was going to happen next, but the anticipation was killing her. She couldn't take her eyes away.

Gradually, Kouji opened up his eyes, and Zoe, JP, and Tommy gasped. Instead of pale, cloudy eyes, they were looking at the most magnificent light-filled orbs. What the hell was happening to him? Why _now_? Whatever it was, Zoe was positive that it had nothing to do with the side effects of the painkillers. Was _this _the real reason Kouji had suddenly felt drowsy?

"What… is going on?" JP breathed, unable to move from his spot. "Kouji? Can you hear me?"

Kouji lifted his head to face JP, and Zoe noticed that he suddenly seemed several times wiser; he had a certain different air about him that she didn't quite understand.

"He can hear you… but this isn't the warrior of light you're speaking too."

Zoe's jaw dropped wide open. That voice. She could hear Kouji speaking, but there was someone else speaking at the same time; the second voice even sounded familiar. Whoever it was knew Kouji's connection to light, so they _had _to be connected to the digital world!

The slightest smirk crossed Kouji's face, and he cocked his head to the side. "If it helps," he started, "I believe I used to refer to him as "light boy.""

Both Zoe and JP jumped to their feet. "Patamon!" they and Tommy cried out in unison.

What Zoe felt at that moment was the strangest mix of sadness and glee. Patamon. She absolutely could not believe what she was hearing. The voice speaking with Kouji's came from the little legendary digimon whose egg Bokomon had kept warm and safe for days. It had been so long that it just didn't seem real. She couldn't tell if she was about to cry tears of relief or joy.

"Seraphimon," the digimon corrected, "but you've got the right idea."

"Seraphimon, what is going on?" Tommy cried out. "Why are you guys attacking our world like this?"

The elemental digimon bowed Kouji's head and shook it. "It's true that there are digimon here in your world, Tommy Himi, but they are not the same digimon that you all remember. They are virus-types, born and raised to destroy everything good. We are trying to stop them, but we cannot do this without your help."

Zoe shared a look with the other two boys. There were so many questions she wanted to ask, but she couldn't even begin to spit them out. All of this was happening so fast!

Seraphimon reached forward and gripped her shoulder with Kouji's hand. "I understand this is all very confusing, but I cannot explain it all here. The virusmon are after you, and you need to get to the digital world as fast as you can."

"How?" Zoe asked, a bit exasperated. "How are we supposed to get there?"

"I'm here to show you," Seraphimon explained, nodding his head. "I felt your presence, and I knew you were all close to the digital barrier, so I sent my spirit to communicate with you. Kouji's special connection to light allowed me to use his body as a vessel. We must keep going—the four of you are very close."

Zoe lifted her head and looked out as far as she could. Through the fog, she could make out a few more miles of road ahead of them; beyond that, she couldn't really see. How was it possible that the passage to the digital world was close by?

"Then let's go!" Tommy announced, his fingers curled into fists. JP and Zoe nodded in agreement.

Seraphimon attempted to get up, but flinched and fell over again. They flooded to his side to help him, worried for both the digimon and Kouji, but he held a hand up to them. "I did not realize," he said after a moment, swallowing the pain, "that he was injured like this. We will have to tend to him immediately."

Zoe felt a great deal of relief when he mentioned helping Kouji. She nodded at him before leaning in to help him to his feet. JP retrieved Kouji's crutches and quickly helped Seraphimon adjust to using them. The digimon adapted quickly and took a few steps forward.

"Quickly, now," he said. "Let's go."

Zoe, JP, and Tommy fell in line behind him. She was still having a hard time comprehending that Kouji's glowing form was possessed by Seraphimon. Finally, she thought, they had come across a friendly digimon—one they knew and cared for greatly. It was relieving to be in his presence, and yet, she could not help but worry about the "virusmon" that were apparently after them. After all, it explained that Kouichi's death and Kouji's injuries had been no accident.

Seraphimon stared straight forward, concentrated on getting them to the digital world, while Zoe and the boys exchanged glances. The emotions that were radiating off of them were the same mix of relief, glee, and concern that she felt. At that moment, despite all that was falling apart right before her eyes, Zoe felt so blessed to have her friends by her side. She realized that she could have been going through this alone, but she wasn't. Even though Kouji had stated that their friendships were falling apart, she couldn't imagine being without them; it was hard enough without Kouichi. Zoe could only hope that Takuya (and Yutaka, of course) made it back safely.

Seraphimon came to an abrupt stop. "We're here," he said, but when Zoe looked up, all she could see was the long and winding road that they had been staring at for the past hour or so. However, before she could question the digimon, he spoke up again.

"It's time for you all to come home. Be careful. All will become clear soon."

Then, Seraphimon lifted Kouji's arm so that he was reaching out in front of him, and just like that, the light vanished from their friend's body. Seraphimon was gone, and it was Kouji who was standing there with his arm stretched out—completely bewildered by what had just happened.

Kouji silently reached out a bit further, and that was when they all understood why Seraphimon had led them here. What had looked like miles and miles ahead of them was nothing but a façade created to trick them. When Kouji touched the air in front of him, everything before them seemed to ripple like water, and Kouji's hand disappeared. It was the digital barrier!

She watched him pull his hand back into their world, seeming very distraught and shocked. Just like the rest of them, his emotions must have been going haywire. Zoe pulled JP and Tommy with her as she moved to Kouji's side. Then, as they all looked to her, she pulled them in close and hugged all three of them.

"To the digital world?" she asked, smiling, but not pulling away from the hug.

A few seconds later, all three boys returned the smile and nodded. Kouji's eyes had returned to their pale, bloodshot state, but he seemed to be looking right into hers. His smile widened slightly, and in unison with Tommy and JP, he replied.

"To the digital world."

* * *

><p><strong>END OF CHAPTER FOUR.<strong>


	6. State of Mind

**A/N: **Guess who's back!

Apologies in advance: This chapter will probably seem a bit rushed. It gave me a lot of trouble, but it's time to move on.

**Dangerous Memories  
><strong>Revised: August 1, 2012  
>Final Revision: May 16, 2013<br>Chapter 5: State of Mind  
>"I invite you to a world where there is no such thing as time<br>And every creature lends themselves to change your state of mind  
>And the girl that chased the rabbit, drank the wine, and took the pill<br>Has locked herself in limbo to see how it truly feels."  
>— <em>Her Name is Alice, <em>Shinedown

**KOUJI**

Walking through the digital barrier was like wading through water. Long ago, when he had crossed over into the digital world via Trailmon, it had felt like going through static—like his entire being was being transformed. Now, however, the transition was smooth. He had just held his breath, taken one long step, and suddenly, he was in an entirely different world.

The digital world was just as he remembered it, but it was different. Like the human world, the sky was dark and the land was hidden by fog. Kouji could feel it—the eerie presence that accompanied these virus-type digimon wherever they went. It sent a shudder down his spine. Through his blurred vision, he was able to piece together that everything looked about the same—but the feeling was different and there was nobody around. The digital world seemed to be abandoned.

Being here was bittersweet; it was like a reunion. This place was where he had met his best friends—where they, only kids at the time, had all come together to save this world and their own. It was where he founded some of his greatest memories. It was where he had discovered that his whole life had been a lie; his mother had never died, and he had a sibling—an identical twin. There were plenty of reasons that Kouji could have been angry, but upon being reunited with Kouichi and discovering the truth about his family, all Kouji could feel at the time was pure happiness.

Now, everything was numb. He felt the strangest sense of déjà vu—as though everything was supposed to go back to how it had been last time. It was exceptionally painful to have that feeling and still know that it wouldn't happen. It was also strange to know that the last time he was here, he thought he had lost Kouichi for good, and now that he had returned, he truly had—just not for the same reason.

Being without his twin caused an unbearable sadness that constantly weighed down on him. His chest was always tight, and he always felt as though he didn't know what to do next. Kouichi was his other half—the best friend he'd ever had—and Kouji wasn't whole without him.

Zoe, JP, and Tommy stepped up beside him. Kouji bit his lip uneasily. Where were they supposed to go? The only landmark that stood out to him was a barbed-wire fence in the distance. He glanced back to where they had entered, only to find a large shield of white light that stretched across the digital world endlessly. He wondered if this was where everyone had gone. When the people in their town had attempted to leave, had the barrier brought them here? What did that mean for their families, who had been out of town prior to the attack? How long had the barrier even been there?

"Wow…" Tommy whispered, gazing out across the endless plains. "It's been a while, huh…? Where do you think Seraphimon is?"

Kouji felt all their eyes look to him, and he shook his head. He didn't know, but moments ago, it had seemed like he'd known everything. Having Seraphimon's spirit inside of him had been the strangest sensation. After he'd tried to stand up, his senses went numb, and then, suddenly, he was sharing his body and voice. It was like he knew all that Seraphimon knew while it was happening, but the moment the digimon left his body, his mind forgot it all. And yet, Seraphimon's presence had left a warm, good feeling inside of him. He wasn't totally sure how to explain it.

"Guys," Zoe said, "I don't like this feeling. When did the digital world ever feel this empty?"

JP snickered lightly and answered, "The last time we were here."

"That's not funny, JP."

Kouji took a step forward, his crutches sinking into the earth slightly. His leg felt a lot better, though it was undoubtedly stiff. He supposed JP had been right to set the bone, but he had a feeling that it was the painkillers that were taking care of the pain; after all, he was still feeling a little giddy.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. Kouji turned and came face-to-face with Zoe. Though he could hardly see her, it was hard to mistake the smile on her face. Suddenly, he felt so much better. Zoe did not have to try hard to comfort him; just having her there while JP was fixing up his leg helped more than anything.

"Hey, are you feeling better?" she asked, giving his shoulder a light squeeze.

He nodded. "Yeah. I am."

Then, just as Kouji was about to put a reassuring hand on Zoe's shoulder, the blonde let out a sharp cry and stumbled backwards. Fear gripped him instantly, and without thinking, he let his crutches fall and staggered forward onto one leg to catch her. JP and Tommy cried out her name, but Zoe was unresponsive.

She was frozen—he could feel her stillness so clearly in his arms—and she was staring forward lifelessly. What was happening? Who was _doing_ this to her? She had been just _fine _a moment ago!

"Zo, come on…!" Kouji pleaded, shaking her shoulders gently. "What's wrong? Talk to me! Zoe!"

But Zoe was not hearing their cries. She was in some sort of trance, and he didn't know why. No… _no… _he couldn't lose her _too. _His heart was beating out of control, and it just wouldn't _stop._

And that was when it struck Kouji too.

It was like all the oxygen was stripped from his lungs. His vision went totally white, and his body stopped listening to him. He felt himself collapse to the ground, Zoe falling just beside him. Something strange was happening to them, and it felt similar to how he'd felt when Seraphimon had possessed him. Though it had been scary to see Zoe like this, whatever was happening did not feel harmful or unfriendly. Instead, he felt a comforting sort of warmth around him.

"Kouji."

Suddenly, Kouji's spine curled up on its own, forcing him to sit upright. The voice that had spoken sounded similar to Kouji himself. It was then that he realized he was in the presence of something great. In that blinding light, he found himself staring at a perfectly clear Lobomon. Kouji's jaw dropped slightly, staring at the miraculous digimon that had once been an incredible part of him. He supposed his perfect vision meant that he was inside of his own consciousness. That would also explain why he was looking right at his spirit.

"Lobomon?"

Lobomon closed his eyes and tilted his head back, letting out an almost agonizing groan. At the same time, Kouji made a similar gesture. He could feel it; they were connected again. He could still remember when Lobomon separated from him the last time they'd battled together. The warriors pushed them out of the way of danger as Lucemon attempted to destroy them. It had felt like an essential piece had been ripped from his insides.

"This pain you're feeling…" Lobomon moaned, shaking his head… "Kouji. This is unbearable."

Kouji nodded his head slowly. "I know."

He could hear the grief in his voice, and if Lobomon didn't already understand what he was experiencing, he would have felt rather ashamed. At least he finally had someone who felt the same pain he was feeling—someone who was a part of him.

Carefully, Lobomon leaned in and gently clutched onto Kouji's wrists. Slowly, he turned them over and pulled down his sleeves. Kouji flinched, but he didn't look away. The scars on his wrists were red, swollen, and vicious. He almost couldn't believe he had done it to himself, and yet, Kouji knew that if the darkness re-swallowed him, he would do it again.

Kouji looked into Lobomon's scarlet eyes, trying to gauge his reaction. He didn't really need to explain himself of course, because the digimon was understanding and feeling everything that Kouji knew and felt. Nevertheless, there was such a sincere sadness in his eyes.

"I completely understand…" Lobomon said in a low voice before looking Kouji in the eyes… "and yet, I'm still suppressing the urge to knock some sense into you."

Kouji managed a small smile. "Yeah," he agreed. "I want to knock sense into me too." Bowing his head, Kouji refocused his thoughts and looked back to his spirit. "Lobomon," he said, "How are you here? Inside of me? I don't have my D-tector. How did you even know how to find me?"

But Lobomon didn't have to say a world. The second Kouji looked into his eyes, he knew the answers. He and Lobomon were hardly two different beings; no matter how long they had been apart, the digimon had always been part of his spirit. After what had happened in the digital world, they didn't _need _something as mediocre as the D-tector to be together. The spirit of light had easily detected Kouji's presence in the digital world. He could feel Kouji just like Kouji could feel him.

Even so, Lobomon was not the only spirit Kouji felt in that moment. Something else was there. He knew Kendo Garurumon was there as well, but that wasn't it. Something corrupted and haunting was present inside of him, and it chilled him to the bone.

"Do you feel that too?" Lobomon asked, his sharp, amber eyes searching the bright area.

Kouji nodded. "Yeah, I do. It's like this eeriness is surrounding us."

They went silent for a moment, waiting for something to happen. It didn't. Kouji shook his head and tried to shake it off, but it was almost like the feeling was permanent. Maybe it was his thoughts playing tricks on him; he _was _inside of his own head, after all. Perhaps those depressing thoughts and memories were just weighing down on the both of them.

"Perhaps you're right," the spirit whispered back, echoing his thoughts.

Then, an agonizing thought came to Kouji, but he knew he couldn't voice it even if he tried. Where was Lowemon? Without Kouichi, Lobomon and Lowemon should have come to Kouji together. He had controlled both light and darkness before, though, admittedly, it was a rather painful process. Still, where had Kouichi's spirit gone too?

Lobomon shook his head, silently telling him that he didn't know. Kouji felt a harrowing pang in his heart at that news. It just seemed like the world was trying to erase any trace of Kouichi from his life.

"You and I are one again," Lobomon explained, kneeling before Kouji. "We're going to beat this, just like before. All of us—together."

Before Kouji could utter another word to his spirit, Lobomon placed a hand on his chest and over his heart. Suddenly, there was a blinding flash of light, and just like that, Kouji was back in the digital world. He was helplessly sprawled out on the hard dirt ground, and his damaged vision and physical pains had returned.

"But we're not all together…" Kouji whispered bitterly, hoping Lobomon was somewhere inside his soul and listening to him.

"Kouji? Are you awake?"

Turning his head, Kouji found Zoe walking towards him. He took in a deep breath, silently thankful that she was all right. She reached down to help him off the ground, and out of the corner of his eye, Kouji could see JP and Tommy slowly coming to their feet as well. Zoe passed him his crutches, and he begrudgingly placed them back under his arms.

JP groaned, shaking his head. "Did the same thing just happen to all of us…?" he asked in a soft voice. "Did you guys get your—"

"—Spirits?" Zoe finished, and Kouji, JP, and Tommy nodded their heads. Kouji instantly felt the atmosphere grow much lighter after that. "I guess we really didn't need our D-tectors after all."

"But we needed to come here," Kouji said. "We need to fix things."

And then, just as they looked at one another and began to consider how they would move forward, an eerily familiar voice called out to them.

"Where's Takuya?"

* * *

><p><strong>TAKUYA<strong>

He felt like the bad guy. He felt that way because no friend would have ever done what he had. What kind of person saw their best friend in horrendous pain and felt little to no sympathy for them? What kind of person saw one of their best friends _die _and went on without even thinking about them? And what kind of person abandoned his friends when they needed him the most? He did; _he _was that kind of person.

Takuya had never felt more depressed and depersonalized in his entire life. What had happened to him? Didn't he used to be a courageous and determined leader—fiercely devoted to his friends? He hardly felt even the slightest shade of his old self. He felt like he was watching all of this happen from the outside. The old Takuya wouldn't have let the world crash around his friends like this. The old Takuya would have done anything to help them.

But his feelings were so numbed down that he didn't know how to operate like the old Takuya. Even as he went to "save" his family, he didn't feel a sense of urgency or worry; he was only doing it because he knew it was what he _had _to do.

"Look, I know you're pissed, Takuya, but I wasn't letting you go alone. You could have very well died."

Takuya's sharp brown eyes pierced Yutaka on his right. "I don't care," he spat. "And you shouldn't have come with me. Now we both could die. Do you really want to do to Tommy the same thing that happened to Kouji?"

Yutaka immediately stopped walking. Takuya turned to find the older male viciously glaring at him. Takuya didn't feel a twinge of guilt at his words, though he meant what he said. Despite how numb he was feeling, deep down in his heart, his love and passion for his friends were still present, and so was his overprotective nature towards Tommy.

"Shut up," Yutaka snarled threateningly. "If you know what's good for you, shut up."

Takuya's brown eyes watched Yutaka almost lifelessly. He knew Yutaka didn't want to be here. He knew he was the reason why Tommy and his brother were separated. Just like always, it was all his fault.

Yutaka sighed, looking down at his feet and crossing his arms. "Look," he said, "I know Kouichi dying really fucked you up inside…"

Takuya froze.

"… And you may not even see it… but it _will _get better Takuya. Sooner or later, you're gonna start feeling okay again… but death does strange things to people."

The brunette could not take his eyes away from Yutaka. It was like he had read his mind. Yutaka was right; it _was _Kouichi's death that had made him like this. Was this really just his strange way of… grieving?

"I don't know…" Takuya whispered, shaking his head. "Kouji's pain is so clear to everyone—even though he tries to hide it. I'm just—"

"—Different," Yutaka explained, gripping his shoulder and looking at him sternly. "You and Kouji are as different as night and day, and you know that. This is an awful thing that's happened, Takuya. It's not gonna feel like breaking a bone or breaking up with a girlfriend. You just lost your best friend a week ago, and nobody knows why. And now that things are moving forward so fast… of _course _you're not gonna process this normally."

Takuya felt his entire body begin to shake. This was the first time anyone had really taken the time to break it down for him—to talk about Kouichi—and it was actually making his heart ache.

"Kouichi…" he murmured, looking right through Yutaka and staring out endlessly.

_We still coming over, Takuya?_

_You better be, buddy._

He could still remember Kouichi turning to grin at him. They were going to have a sleepover that night with Kouji. They had been planning on breaking into the alcohol cabinet and going out and doing something fun. But instead of having fun with his best friends in the entire world, Takuya walked home that day with Kouichi in his arms—ice cold and covered in blood.

And that was when the numbness began. When he was carrying his friend, who had been murdered by the digimon they had once protected, he hadn't known how to feel. Everything just went numb and it _stayed _that way. By the time they reached Tommy's house, he was absolutely covered in both Kouji and Kouichi's blood, and he couldn't feel a single thing.

He remembered shutting Kouichi's bloodshot blue eyes while JP covered him with a blanket—not looking once as he did so. He remembered Yutaka screaming for somebody to get another towel because Kouji could not stop bleeding. He remembered hearing that Kouji's pulse was weak and, if he survived, he might lose both his leg and his sight. He remembered the day that Kouji finally woke up—jumping up like he had just awoken from some horrible nightmare. He remembered kneeling in the dirt and lowering Kouichi's body into a makeshift grave; it was all the others could bear to do. He remembered it all, and most importantly, he remembered being detached from all of it.

But now… it was hitting him hard. Kouichi was really _gone. _There would be no more adventures. Takuya would not be able to look at Kouji without wondering why Kouichi wasn't there beside him. Takuya would not be able to see them all grow up together without realizing that Kouichi was not there growing beside them. Kouichi would never get married or have children; he was permanently fixated in their minds as their 17-year-old friend and brother who died, and nothing could change that. It was over for him. It was over for _all _of them.

Before he could stop them, the tears came pouring down his cheeks. Takuya clenched his fists and bowed his head, the pain suddenly hitting him like a ten-ton brick. His knees collapsed, and he hit the ground hard. Yutaka put his hands on his shoulders, pressing their foreheads together.

"It's okay…" Yutaka reassured him softly. "Let it all out. It's okay."

Takuya pulled his hands to his heart and shook his head. "No, no…" he sobbed. "It's not okay…. This… this is all so overwhelming."

He could not even begin to explain the incredible series of emotions that were wearing down on him in that moment. All he knew was that he felt sad—so devastatingly sad that he could not bring himself to get off the ground. His sobbing turned hysterical; he did not know how to get rid of all this pain.

"It's not fair," he cried, curling over. "It's not _fair_…."

Yutaka pulled him into a tight hug, but Takuya could not stop trembling. He realized, in that moment, just how much he sounded like Kouji. All this time, he had been trying so hard not to look at him—to see how much pain he was in. He thought he wouldn't be able to understand why Kouji was acting so irrationally, but now he understood everything. He had been trying to stay strong, despite all the devastation that had happened, but he had been subconsciously detaching himself from the world.

He and Yutaka stayed liked that for what could have been a full half-hour. It wasn't until the sound of screeching came their way Takuya found the strength to move. He pushed himself off the ground and made his way onto shaky legs. In spite of all the pain he was feeling, he couldn't forget that he still needed to get his family. He had had the nerve to criticize Yutaka for leaving Tommy, but he had abandoned his own little brother as well.

Takuya walked with his head down and his fists clenched. He wanted to believe this was all just one bad nightmare. He wanted so badly to wake up and have everything go back to normal. He would be happy and cheerful; he wouldn't feel so _trapped. _Everyone would go back to the way they were supposed to be. God, why couldn't he _wake up_?

"Takuya."

Turning towards Yutaka, he noticed that the older male seemed to be contemplating something. For a moment, Takuya worried that he had seen something, but that didn't seem to be the case. Yutaka was facing away from him, deep in thought.

"There's another reason I followed you," he finally said.

Takuya raised an eyebrow, but kept walking. What other reason could there possibly be?

Yutaka shoved his hands in his pockets and looked forward again. He took a deep breath and shut his eyes, and Takuya wondered if he had been hiding something from them.

"When I think about the six of you—" he started lightly— "you, Tommy, JP, Kouji, Zoe, and Kouichi—something just doesn't add up."

Takuya bit his lip and ran a nervous hand through his hair. "What do you mean?"

His older friend shook his head and sighed. "I'm not sure, to be completely honest. It's just… the way you guys met. I don't know, I just don't think this was all a matter of coincidence like you guys say it was. I mean, come on… you all went to different schools when you first met… Tommy is two years younger than you guys, JP is a year older… and Kouji and Kouichi have different last names. It's all a little odd."

"Yutaka…" Takuya responded in a low voice, looking away. "You're thinking way too hard about this. We just kind of pieced ourselves together… I mean, it happens, right? And Kouji and Kouichi… well… Kouji grew up with their dad, and Kouichi grew up with their mom. Their parents are separated. That's all."

"Takuya, listen…" Yutaka snapped. "You guys know way more than you're letting on. I just have this feeling that you know what's happening."

Yutaka was asking way too many questions, and it made Takuya uncomfortable. There was a reason they never told anybody about the digital world. When they were young, they would have been told they just had overactive imaginations, and as they grew older, they probably would have been thrown in mental institutions. Nobody would have understood what they had done, and after a while, they had decided it was for the better.

But now… now that this world had been exposed to the digital world… could he tell Yutaka about what happened? Takuya sighed and shook his head. How could he possibly explain everything when he didn't even know what was going on now? It had been _six_ years since they'd been in the digital world! He wasn't sure that he could explain it if he _tried._

Before Takuya could even begin to think of the words to say to Yutaka, he became aware of his surroundings. They were standing on his street, and his house was staring him in the face—unharmed.

"We'll talk later, okay?" he told Yutaka before sprinting forward.

He felt anxious, and his heartbeat was quick. His family must have been going out of their minds wondering where he was. Takuya just wanted to get them out of here. Once he got them to safety, he could find the others, and they could figure this whole thing out… or, at least, he hoped.

But then, just as Takuya placed his hand on the doorknob, something unexpected happened. Everything disappeared behind a sheet of bright light, and he collapsed.

* * *

><p><strong>ZOE<strong>

"Those bother you, huh?"

Kouji did not turn to look at her, but she was used to it now. There was really no point in looking into her eyes when he could hardly even see them. Nevertheless, he heard her—that much was clear when he offered her a small smirk and adjusted himself on his crutches.

"Well, I can't say that I've ever had painful armpits before."

Zoe chuckled and put a gentle hand on his back. "My dad hated them too," she told him. Then again, she thought, what Kouji was going through was a hundred times worse than her father's surgery had ever been. Those painkillers in his system weren't going to last forever, and the pain would return. As they moved forward, she hoped and prayed that Seraphimon would be able to help him.

She had never seen such bad injuries before—at least in person. Kouji's mangled leg and blind, bruised eyes never failed to send a shiver down her spine. Sure, Kouji had had his fair share of injuries in the past (not unlike the rest of them), but they were nothing compared to what he was going through now. Zoe needed to help him—to make sure that he would be okay—because in the past, no matter what, Kouji had _always_ been there for her.

* * *

><p>"<em>So… I failed that quiz."<em>

"_Oh my god, you __**did**__? I was totally worried I was the only one!"_

_Kouji let out a loud, sarcastic "Ha!" and shook his head at her. "Oh, big time. Kouichi's not gonna be happy when he takes it next period," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm a moron when it comes to math. It doesn't make any sense to me. And the day that they decided to throw letters and Greek symbols in there was the day I was officially fucked."_

_Zoe threw her head back in laughter. "Wow, you are __**so **__right! Me too!" she told him. "Well, at least the three of us can be bad at math together. We should pull another late-nighter to study for the exam tomorrow."_

"_Absolutely," he agreed, pulling out his cell phone. "Our dad's away on a business trip, so I'm sure Satomi wouldn't mind. Should we just go ahead and invite the others too?"_

"_Yeah, definitely," she said, pausing for a moment before adding: "As long as your idiot best friend decides to stop being such an ass for once."_

_Kouji laughed at her, but she was being completely honest. Takuya __**had **__been acting like an ass lately—specifically towards her. They seemed to argue every second of every day. He never wanted to hang out with her anymore, he never returned her phone calls, and when she tried to talk to him about it, he immediately went on the defensive and told her to give him "a break for once, yikes!" Considering the simple fact that they couldn't even listen to one another, Zoe wondered just how much longer they were going to last… and that thought made her heart ache._

"_That idiot __**happens **__to be your boyfriend," Kouji teased, readjusting his bag before placing a hand on her back. "Hey, look… I know he's being a jerk right now, but he'll come around. He always does."_

_She nodded, now slightly more hopeful. "You're right."_

_After lunch that afternoon, Zoe did not see Kouji __**or **__Takuya for the rest of the day. An hour or so after school ended, Kouji sent her a text: 'Bad day. We'll have to put off our little "get together" for another time. I'll tell you about it tomorrow.' She responded that she hoped he was all right, and if he needed to talk, she was there. Kouji didn't respond after that, and she failed to get a hold of Takuya either. Zoe spent that night completely alone—stuck in her room while she studied for that stupid exam._

_The next day did not go like she thought it would._

_Early on in the morning, during study hall, Zoe looked up to see Kouji approaching her. Quickly following from behind, and looking rather irritated, was Takuya. He was urgently calling after Kouji, trying to get him to stop walking, but to no avail. It wasn't until Kouji was next to her that Takuya was finally able to get a grip on his shoulder and turn him around._

"_Would you just mind your own business for once, Kouji?" the brunette snapped. "This has nothing to do with you!"_

_Kouji shrugged Takuya's hand off of his shoulder. "You're right," he said. "But I'm __**making **__it my business."_

_Although Takuya towered over him, there was no mistaking that Kouji was still far more intimidating. Zoe wondered what an earth they could have been fighting about now. They glared at each other for a couple of uncomfortable seconds, but it wasn't long before Takuya took a step back and looked down at his feet. Kouji, on the other hand, continued scowling at him._

"_Well?" he demanded. "Are you gonna tell her or am I?"_

_Zoe could have sworn that her heart stopped beating right then and there. This was about __**her**__. She was about to find out exactly what it was too, because Kouji had given him an ultimatum. She looked at Takuya almost pleadingly—like she wanted him to promise her that everything was okay. But he did not look at either of them, and that was how she knew it was bad._

"_Tell me what…?" she asked in a small voice. "Takuya? Kouji?"_

_Takuya finally looked up at Kouji, noticeably upset with him. "Okay," he said. "Just give us some privacy, would you?"_

_Kouji gave Takuya a curt nod and turned to go, but he didn't leave without mouthing "I'm sorry" in Zoe's direction._

* * *

><p>And that was the day that Takuya looked her in the eyes and told her that he had cheated on her. She later learned that the only reason he ever told her was because Kouji had caught him in the act. As awful as that day had been for Zoe, she knew now that Takuya had long since learned his lesson, and there were more important things to worry about anyway. It had ended up being for the best anyway, because as much as she still loved Takuya, she would never have romantic feelings for him again. But Zoe didn't remember this because it had been so heartbreaking; she remembered it because of Kouji.<p>

He could have kept his mouth shut. He could have chosen to back Takuya up and wait for her to find out on her own—if she ever did—but he didn't. Whether it was offering her his jacket when she was cold or telling her the truth she deserved to know, Kouji had always had her back. As cold as he could come off to other people, he was, above anybody else, always there when his friends needed him—even if that meant doing something that he didn't necessarily want to do.

Takuya understood that too, and he was quick to forgive Kouji for putting him in that situation. Zoe used to think that nothing could break them. She had been convinced that she, Takuya, Kouji, Kouichi, Tommy, and JP had already experienced the most challenging times of their lives in the digital world; it had truthfully made her feel invincible.

But they were not invincible, and she had learned that the hard way.

"Well, here's the fence," JP mumbled, interrupting her thoughts, "but I really don't see a whole lot else. This place sure is deserted, guys."

Kouji sighed and leaned heavily on his crutches. "Gee, thanks a lot, Seraphimon."

Zoe wrapped an arm over his shoulders and let him rest his head on hers. She knew he was tired; they all were.

"Wait…. Do you guys hear that?"

She lifted her head to look at Tommy. He had gone completely still and seemed to be listening for something. She did the same for a while, but heard nothing other than the faint sound of them breathing. JP shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.

"I think you're hearing things, Tommy," Zoe suggested. "We're all just really overtire—"

"—No. I hear it too," Kouji insisted, holding a hand up to keep everyone quiet. "It's just really high-pitched. What is it?"

They had a full five seconds to figure that out before an explosion knocked all four of them senseless. Zoe was thrown against the barbed-wire fence, which took no mercy on her as it ripped up her skin. She cried out, fully collapsing to the ground, and tried to make sense of what was happening. When she looked around her, Kouji, JP, and Tommy were scattered across the area, groaning and trying to pick themselves up.

"That was a low blow…" Kouji managed, rolling over onto his side. "_Ugh. _I don't think I'm getting up after that one."

"Don't bother."

Zoe raised an eyebrow, looking at JP and Tommy, who looked equally confused.

"Guys?" she started. "Who said that?"

Before any questions could be answered, Kouji suddenly let out an agonized scream. Zoe instantly jumped up and looked in his direction. There was a small, dark creature with blood red eyes standing behind Kouji. It was prodding him in the back with something that was very clearly electrocuting him.

"HEY!" Tommy screamed, coming to his feet. "GET AWAY FROM HIM!"

He started to run forward, but before he could get very far, another creature appeared behind him—sticking an electrical rod into his back as well.

"TOMMY!" Zoe and JP cried out as their friend collapsed to the ground, convulsing.

Zoe's first instinct was to spirit evolve, but without her D-Tector, she didn't know how. She was too panicked to focus on getting Kazemon's attention—especially when she received a blow to her side that knocked her to the ground again. She curled up, bracing herself for an electrical shock, but it never came. It wasn't until she inhaled that she realized she had received a face full of gas instead. She started coughing violently, unable to stop.

Across from her, Kouji could not seem to get his voice to work correctly. The electric shocks were messing with his brain, and his words were coming out slurred and almost incoherent. He tried to crawl towards Zoe, but another shock raced through his body, and his body gave out of him. Tommy collapsed beside him, his body seizing as the electricity coursed through his limbs.

Zoe recovered very slowly. By the time she was even able to breath, her chest was absolutely aching. She tried to push herself off the ground to go help them, but that was when she realized that something was not quite right. Whatever they had sprayed her with—whatever had filled her lungs—was messing her up. The world before her became cloudy and vague; everything was spinning and flipping and morphing. Her body suddenly felt very heavy—like gravity was pushing down on her. Around her, the trees began to melt and everything in front of her seemed to flash in and out of her reality. She didn't understand.

"Guys…" she cried out, losing her balance and falling onto her side. "Guys, what's going on?"

Despite the panic that was gripping her body, Zoe felt like her heart was beating way too slow; it wouldn't let her breathe. She couldn't breathe! She rolled onto her back, desperate to make it all stop, but it didn't help. She thought she might be sick. She whimpered and shook her head from side to side. It felt like she was moving in slow motion. Zoe pleaded with the gods that this feeling would stop and that she could come back to reality, but she didn't even know where reality was anymore.

When she turned her head to the left again, she thought that Kouji was lying next to her, but then he let out a laugh that didn't belong to him. His eyes were heavily bloodshot, but they were not blind. It wasn't Kouji. It was Kouichi.

"K—Kou—" she stuttered, unable to take her eyes off of him. "Kouichi…?"

He smiled sweetly, chuckling again. She waited for him to speak, but he didn't. She reached for him, but her hand never touched his skin. Tears slipped down her face, but she could hardly feel it. All she could feel was shock.

"Kouichi, we need you…" she cried, a sob stuck in her throat. "Come back…. Please come back. I miss you so much. Kou_ichi_…!"

But Kouichi just kept on laughing as though he had never heard her.

"Zoe! Zo!"

Slowly, Zoe looked up and found Beetlemon standing over her. Concern shone in his eyes, and it seemed as though he had been trying to get her attention for a while. She looked to her left, but Kouichi was no longer there. With her head still stuck in the fog, she was unable to understand what was happening, but having JP there made her feel much more comfortable. As she reached up to touch his armor, she realized that he was the only thing that seemed real.

"JP…" she whined softly, letting her arm fall. "What's happening?"

Beetlemon took her hand and held it close to him. "It's okay, Zo. You got hit with some sort of gas, and you're hallucinating, but it's gonna wear off. Take a few deep breaths, and don't be afraid. Just close your eyes and try not to worry about anything. I'm getting you out of here."

Zoe nodded and shut her eyes, willing to try anything to feel better. She did not want to look anymore. She didn't want to see trees melting. She didn't want to see her dead friend laughing at her. If it happened again, she didn't think she would be able to handle it. She didn't know what would have happened if JP hadn't come to her rescue.

Beetlemon lifted her into his arms.

"Let's get out of here, Zo."

* * *

><p><strong>END OF CHAPTER 5<strong>


	7. Fallout

**A/N: **Hey, guys. Sorry again for yet ANOTHER slow update. I've had a few messages asking about when this chapter will be posted, and I feel awful that I'm just now posting! I _did _have to go back and make some revisions to the plot, though, which ultimately caused this chapter to change a bit (I also just noticed that I spelled Takuya's last name wrong in the first chapter! Agh!) Nevertheless, I finally got around to it! As always, THANK YOU for your overwhelming support. Please continue to read and review!

* * *

><p><strong>Dangerous Memories<br>**Revised: June 6, 2013  
>Chapter 6: Fallout<br>"I don't know what I'd do without you  
>Your words are like a whisper come through<br>As long as you are with me here tonight, I'm good  
>Can you be my nightingale<br>Feel so close  
>I know you're there."<br>— Nightingale, Demi Lovato

**TAKUYA**

_Agunimon. You're here._

_I'm here, Takuya._

Takuya slowly began to regain consciousness, his body sprawled out on a cold, tiled floor. His limbs relaxed, though he was undoubtedly stiff, and his head was pounding. Very slowly, he shuffled around a bit and opened his tired brown eyes. His head was propped up on a pillow, and he was staring up at a dimly lit white ceiling. Takuya shut his eyes again, trying to figure out what had happened before Agunimon had remerged with him. All he knew was that he wanted to sleep for days.

"He's awake."

He turned his head towards the source of the voice, trying to figure out why it sounded so familiar. Just as he was beginning to remember, somebody wrapped their arms around him tightly.

"Oh, Takuya. I was so scared. When you didn't come back, I didn't know what to think."

_Mom and Dad._

Takuya reached up to return his mother's hug, letting out a huge sigh of relief. They were safe. His voice felt too weak to talk right away, but he knew he would choke up no matter what. If just one of them had been killed, it would have pushed him over the edge. He had just come to terms with the fact that losing Kouichi had done the most horrible things to him, and he knew he couldn't handle another loss. He had to give everything he had to protect his friends… his parents… his brother…

"Shinya?"

There was a brief moment of uneasy silence following his cracked voice, but it wasn't long before his 14-year-old brother kneeled down beside him, saying, "I'm here. Don't worry."

Takuya let out another deep breath, thanking the gods. Despite having lost his best friend, he had been so unbelievably lucky in this predicament. He wished his family had left without him, but they stayed behind because he did. Kouji had been in such excruciating pain after the attack that they couldn't even move him, and Tommy's house had been the closest safe haven. His parents had always regarded Kouji and Kouichi as their own sons, so staying in the monster-ridden town had been worth it for them. Still, Takuya wanted nothing more than to get them to safety.

"What happened…?" he managed to ask, finding a bit more strength in his voice. The last thing he remembered was running to his doorstep.

"You blacked out right before you opened the door," Yutaka explained, entering the room—which Takuya finally recognized as his kitchen. "I don't know exactly what happened, but you came really close to cracking your head open on the corner of the porch. Consider yourself lucky."

Takuya groaned, reaching up to massage his temples. "Trust me, I am."

He pushed himself off of the floor slowly, running his hands through his messy brown locks. His father sat beside him. "You must have overexerted yourself," he said. "You've been out for hours."

That shocked him. Takuya snapped fully awake, glancing wide-eyed at everybody around the room. "_Hours_?" he cried. "It felt like a couple of minutes—"

He stopped himself, almost admitting to Agunimon's spirit inside of him. It was true that his meeting with the legendary warrior had only lasted minutes, but Takuya, fully aware of how exhausted he felt, assumed that he really must have fallen asleep in the process. Besides, the matter of time in relation to the Digital World had always been a little different.

"We have to get out of here," he said at last. "The others went ahead, and it won't be long before the monsters come back."

Shinya shrugged his shoulders. "We were hiding in the basement when you guys showed up. Those creatures were everywhere. Are you so sure it's safe to leave, Takuya?"

"They seem to be gone… for right now, anyway," Yutaka explained, crossing his arms over his chest. "The best thing we can do is try to leave town. I don't know what's going on, but nobody has come to our rescue, and that's really strange. Even if this attack is worldwide, wouldn't you think the national guard or some other service would be here by now? Something's not right. We need to leave, because if we don't, we may never see sunlight again."

Takuya nodded in agreement. After all, he had Agunimon with him now. If he needed to, he wouldn't resist spirit evolving to save his family. His spirit had also made it known that the digital world was close and the others were there; there was apparently some sort of gate surrounding their town. Was that where everybody had vanished to? The digital world? Was he right to trust his instinct and bring his family with him?

His father looked uncertain. "Nobody's entered this town since these creatures showed up," the man stated, "so if they can't enter, maybe we can't leave. Everybody who's left this town… they've never come back."

"And why would they?" his mother asked, shaking her head. "They shouldn't be coming back here. They should be running for their lives."

"Well, of course. But what about Kousei, Satomi, and Tomoko? What about the Orimotos? Wouldn't you think they'd come back for their kids?"

"Yes, if they _could. _There is the possibility that they—"

"—Mom. Dad," Takuya interrupted, agitated at the minor argument his parents were having. He just wanted to get them out of danger. "We can sit here and argue or we can get up and go. Yutaka's right. We have to get out of here. In case you forgot, these monsters are ruthless. They've destroyed entire houses and set fire to others. They'll kill us if we don't leave."

His mother looked from him to his father, her eyes pleading him to listen. The older man sighed and lowered his gaze to the floor. "Yeah. Okay," he said. "Quickly, let's gather some important supplies and leave."

Takuya smiled, nodding his head. His mother kissed his cheek, and his father put a gentle hand on his shoulder; together, they left the room to collect the essentials. Very slowly, Takuya pushed himself to his feet and dusted himself off. His full strength had finally come back to him, and with Agunimon, he felt confident and safe.

He glanced over at his little brother as Yutaka sauntered into the next room. Shinya looked back at him with anxious, glazed eyes.

"I'm scared, Takuya…" he told him in a low voice. "I can't stop thinking about what happened to Kouichi."

Takuya stepped forward and pulled him into a tight hug. His chin used to graze over the top of Shinya's head, but now, to his surprise, they were almost even in height. His little brother had been growing up, but Takuya hadn't even noticed until now. _When did this happen? _He asked himself. _When did I say it was okay for you to grow up on me, Shinya?_

Time passed so quickly these days. Wasn't it just yesterday that he met his friends in the digital world? Wasn't it just the other day that he was wrestling the video game controller out of Shinya's hands and making him cry? It didn't seem possible that his baby brother was already fourteen. He wanted everything to slow down.

"Don't be scared, Shinya," Takuya whispered, putting a hand to the back of his brother's head. "Some bad stuff happened, but it's gonna be okay now. No matter what. I'm not gonna let anything happen to us. I promise. Okay?"

"Okay."

He didn't know if it was all right to make such a promise to Shinya. He knew now, better than ever, that life was so incredibly fragile, and although he would protect his family with every fiber of his being, he wasn't sure that he could say the same for himself. Nevertheless, he didn't want his brother to feel scared or upset or badly in any way at all; he wanted to shield him from all of that pain. So if that meant making a promise that he wasn't completely sure he could keep, he would do it.

"Shinya, I know we fight a lot," Takuya started, his dark brown eyes burning, "but at the end of the day, you're still my brother, and I love you so much. I always will."

Shinya hugged him a little tighter. "I love you too, Takuya."

It was something that Takuya had never really said to his brother, but he meant it, and he was just so thankful that he had the chance to tell him. He stepped back and smiled assuredly at his sibling. Shinya smiled back at him as their parents re-entered the room with Yutaka. Takuya wasn't blind to the gun that his dad had attached to his belt, but he refrained from commenting on it.

"We're ready," his mother said. "Let's go."

* * *

><p><strong>KOUJI<strong>

_He couldn't remember how he had gotten there._

_Normally, the beach would have been a relaxing and peaceful place, but it wasn't. The sand was weighing him down—choking him. He could feel it in his lungs. He could taste the bitter salt in his mouth. He could hardly even lift his feet to move out of the way as the ocean waves crashed into his side. It wasn't long before a giant wave came along and threw him to the ground. The coarse sand burned his hands as he tried to stop himself from collapsing fully._

_He remembered the explosion and being electrocuted, but everything after the second shock to his spine was a painful blur. Before he knew it, he was walking along the coast of a foggy, gray-tinted beach. It felt real, but at the same time, Kouji couldn't escape the feeling that he was dreaming._

_Another wave crashed into him again, and this time, it seemed to swallow him. He sunk his fingers into the wet sand, desperately hanging on, but as the water washed back from the shore, his strength ebbed away. Within seconds, the force ripped his grip out of the ground and threw him onto his side. Kouji coughed violently as the salt water filled his lungs, and he curled into himself to stop his ribs from cracking._

"_Kouichi would have saved you if he had been in your place."_

_Kouji listened to the words as they echoed in his ears. He tried to get up—to get a glance at the person whose voice sounded all too familiar—but another wave crashed into him and pushed him down again._

"_Think about it. He was the smarter one... the stronger one. He wouldn't cause your friends the torment that you do. You're the reason that Yutaka and Takuya left Tommy. You're the reason this whole team is falling apart."_

_He gripped onto the wet sand, weakly pulling himself away from the ocean. The waves crashed onto his legs, dragging him back a few inches. If he didn't get away from the tide, he was going to die here, he realized. Whoever was in control of this place wanted to drown him._

"_Kouichi should be alive, not _you._"_

_The next wave drilled him in the back. His frustration hit its peak._

"_Stop!" Kouji cried out, raising his head to the source of the voice. "SHUT UP!"_

_He went perfectly still. The person glaring down at him had cloudy pale-blue eyes and dark hair. He had a small build and was standing on an incredibly mangled leg, but lying on the ground before him and listening to his words, Kouji felt rather intimidated. He shouldn't have. He was looking at himself._

_His reflection smirked maliciously, cocking his head to the side._

"_You know it's true," he said, and this time, when he spoke, Kouji heard another darker voice speak along with him. "You know you're fighting a futile battle."_

_Kouji let his head rest against the sand. He had tried to suppress those creeping worries about how they didn't stand a chance, but it was impossible to deny. Kouichi was gone. Lowemon was gone. Takuya had left them. Light, wind, thunder, and ice were not enough to win this fight—especially in such a weakened state. Kouji had spent the past two weeks wondering if the struggle was actually worth it. It would have been so easy to just give up…_

"_Give up."_

"_No."_

… _But that wasn't what Kouichi would have wanted._

_He glared up at the parallel image of himself, who was visibly irritated._

"_I'm not giving up without a fight."_

_The other Kouji gritted his teeth together, murmuring, "You're a fool."_

_Those last words seemed to echo over the horizon. Just seconds later, another enormous wave crashed over Kouji. It completely submerged him, stripping the air from his lungs and filling them with salt water. He quickly began to lose consciousness, and all he could feel around him was intense, suffocating hatred. Voices hissed at him from every angle, demanding that he give up and admit defeat. He tried to raise his hands to his ears to block out the sound, but he couldn't move. And as he faded out, he could have sworn he heard somebody scream his name._

* * *

><p>"Which of the Chosen are present?"<p>

"Thunder, Wind, Ice, and Light."

A small pause. Footsteps.

"It seems that we were not lied to. Kouichi Kimura has truly been killed. I only hope that Takuya Kanbara has not suffered the same fate."

As the different voices conversed, Kouji slowly came to the conclusion that he had been dreaming again. He shouldn't have been surprised, as these strange nightmares had been consistently haunting him for the past two weeks. However, he was unable to shake the bizarre feeling that the dream at the ocean had left him with. It had all been so odd, and yet it had felt so real. And despite how shell-shocked the dream had left him, after waking to talk of Kouichi's death, Kouji desperately wanted to go back to sleep.

He groaned softly, attempting to shake off the haziness that was surrounding him. He no longer had the sickening feeling of sand in his lungs, but his other aches and pains were back, and he was shaking. Kouji opened his eyes, but it did him no good since his vision was blurrier than normal. He brushed his hand along his side, quickly discovering that he must have been lying in a bed of grass. It was dimly lit around him, but wherever he was, he felt safe.

"You're awake!" a voice cried out, and soon, heavy footsteps were hurrying towards him.

Kouji glanced up. His eyes attempted to focus, but couldn't, so he was left staring at a blurred, off-white figure. It was the voice, however, that jogged his memory.

"Gotsumon…?"

The digimon took a couple of steps closer. "Yeah!" he exclaimed. "Well, if you wanna be all technical about it, I'm really Meteormon now!"

Kouji used his elbow to push himself up. He curled forward somewhat and ran his fingers through his fringe, still rather groggy from everything that had occurred.

"Wow, you've really changed," Meteormon continued, looking him over. "Where'd all your hair go?"

Kouji turned towards him, smirking. It felt good to be in his friend's presence after all this time, but it irritated him that he couldn't see the digimon very well. "Of course I've changed," he rasped before clearing his throat. "It's been like six years since I've seen you." He raised an eyebrow at Meteormon, quickly realizing how odd his question had been. "Really? My eyes are _this _messed up and you ask me about my _hair_?"

He could just barely make out the smirk that crossed the digimon's rocky face. "Yeah, did you cut it or something?"

Kouji groaned, "Glad to see you haven't changed, smartass."

He took another look at his surroundings. He didn't see the others, but several Gotsumon and a crowd of other digimon were standing around him. It didn't take him long to figure out that he was in the underground caves that Meteormon had brought him to years ago. Everything was just about the same—albeit much bigger than he remembered.

"What am I doing here?" he asked Meteormon. "Where are the others?"

"You were attacked."

Kouji's attention shifted to the left, where a large, bright form was standing guard. "Some of our allies came to your rescue, and together with Beetlemon, they were able to fend off your attackers," the celestial digimon explained. "The other legendary warriors are being treated for their wounds in other rooms. Everybody appears to be okay."

"Seraphimon…" Kouji whispered. The digimon was certainly no longer a Patamon. Nevertheless, even with his bad vision, he was able to make out Bokomon's pink band around Seraphimon's center. "So JP was able to spirit evolve…."

"Well, it's a good thing he did 'cause you fellers were in bad shape when we got there!" a different voice responded. Upon closer speculation, it became clear that the new speaker was a Starmon. "But don't worry 'bout that! We got ya all fixed up! Just like last time."

At those words, Kouji realized that he was sitting with his knees bent, and his leg _wasn't _hurting him. He removed the blanket from his lower half and reached down to touch his injured leg, but what he saw caught him off guard. His groin down to his ankle was encased in a solid black brace. He tried bending and unbending his knee, but the brace didn't restrain him and the pain didn't follow. Kouji couldn't help but smile.

"That brace right there is connected to you. It's keeping everything in place and controlling your pain levels, so don't be messin' with it!" Starmon told him. "You've also got medicine and bandages on underneath, and they're healing the open wounds. You got some pretty bad injuries, but for now, with this on, you'll be able to move around like normal."

"You guys are incredible," Kouji admitted, marvelled at how much better he felt.

He was just about to thank the Starmon when he noticed his clothing—or lack thereof. His sweatpants were gone, though he was still wearing the shorts he had had on underneath. His jacket was also missing, which meant that the scars on his arms were visible to the entire world. Had anyone noticed?

"Swanmon's gonna be fixing up some new clothes for you guys," Meteormon explained. "That explosion caused a whole lot of rips and tears. Your jacket had a huge hole in the back."

"When we got to you, much of your clothing had been ruined," a sweet, motherly voice added, and Kouji instantly recognized her as Swanmon. "Zoe was especially torn up."

Kouji jumped slightly at Zoe's name. "She's okay, though, right?" he asked worriedly.

"She's a little shaken up, but she'll be just fine," Swanmon replied kindly. "You were the last one to regain consciousness, but Tommy was only moments before you. From what we were told, you were both severely electrocuted."

Kouji sighed, trying not to think too much about it. Wasn't it enough being struck by lightning once already? Did he really have to deal with several violent electric shocks to his spine?

"But hey, you're gonna be just fine!" Meteormon exclaimed, seeming hopeful. "And when Takuya and your brother come back, you guys are gonna save the world again!"

Uncomfortable silence filled the air after the digimon spoke. His words left Kouji in complete and utter disbelief.

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "What do you mean 'when he comes back'? My brother _died._"

Kouji didn't want to be angry at his friend—especially since they hadn't seen each other in so long—but he couldn't help but feel upset. His words were almost _taunting _Kouji. He tried to speak—to scream or question him or stutter over his words—but he couldn't.

"Meteormon," Seraphimon started gently, "humans are unlike digimon. When they pass on from this life, they do not return."

Kouji could tell that this information gave Meteormon a rather unpleasant shock. He could nearly feel the distress radiating off of him.

"B-but… Kouichi wasn't just a human. He's part digimon too—"

"—Just stop talking about it!"

Everybody turned to Kouji, whose outburst had startled them. He shook his head, silently wishing, for once, that somebody could speak to him without mentioning Kouichi. He should have been ecstatic to see his long lost friends, but he wasn't. The little joy he had initially felt had broken away from him—bit by bit. Kouji was beginning to get the impression that this horrid misery was never going to leave him. It didn't help that, ever since Lobomon had remerged with him, he had constantly been feeling on edge. That eerie presence that he had felt inside of himself made him feel particularly uneasy.

No matter how hard he fought, everything just felt so hopeless. Light truly could not survive without the dark.

Kouji slowly pushed himself off the ground and made his way onto his feet. Although he was a little unsteady at first, there was no pain when he put weight on his bad leg.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I just need to clear my head."

* * *

><p><strong>TOMMY<strong>

He was finally settling down, he realized.

Tommy held his hands out in front of him, thankful to see that they were perfectly still. When he had regained consciousness, he hadn't been able to stop shaking. He twisted side to side, trying to stretch his tense body, but stopped when he felt a pang of pain in his chest. He stopped moving, gently massaging the aching area with the palm of his hand.

Right on that spot, beneath his shirt, he had a massive blue and yellow bruise. It had healed considerably since he had gotten it, but it was still tender at times. The day after the attack, he had been able to see the imprint of a shoe in a line of bruises. Kouji had kicked him so hard that Tommy was surprised he hadn't broken a rib… not that he was complaining; Kouji had saved his life, after all.

"Feeling any better?"

Tommy smiled up at JP as the older boy entered the room.

"Yeah. I'm not nearly as shaky as I was an hour ago."

He certainly felt grateful for that, too. At first, he had been extremely uncomfortable. The electric shocks to his spine had done a number on him, undoubtedly. He could only remember jumping to Kouji's defense when the first shock hit him. After that, everything was a blank. Thankfully, he was feeling much more at ease now.

"Kouji and Zoe?" he asked.

"They're gonna be fine," JP responded assuredly. "They took care of Kouji's broken leg right off, and they gave Zoe this tea that really snapped her out of it and calmed her down."

He nodded, letting out a sigh of relief. From what JP had told him, Zoe had been forced to breath in some sort of hallucinogen. Apparently, whatever she had seen had made her extremely upset, so Tommy was just happy that she was better.

"Can you imagine the trouble we would have been in if you hadn't spirit evolved?" he questioned, shaking his head. "How'd you do it?"

JP shrugged his shoulders. "I just tried focusing. I blocked out everything around me and tried calling out to Beetlemon. It worked. Pretty different without a D-Tector though."

Tommy wished he had thought about his spirit before jumping right into the action. Acting so impulsively was more of a Takuya move, after all. Nevertheless, they were safe and sound, and it was over… for now. If they could only get some rest and something to eat, he would have been more than content.

His stomach suddenly grumbled at the thought of food, which had been scarce since all of this had started. He remembered looking at the four of them as they entered the digital world yesterday, and even though it hadn't been that long since the initial attack, they all looked unhealthily pale and thin. Truthfully, after Kouichi had died and Kouji had been hurt, none of them had been the least bit hungry.

He sighed, his mind drifting to Kouji again. He had looked up to his friend since the day he met him. He had always been so multitalented—so strong and _cool. _Tommy remembered being in digital world, watching MagnaGarurumon and EmperorGreymon and thinking about how badly he wanted to be just like them. That was why it was so extremely difficult to see Kouji the way he was now. To say that this war had knocked him down a couple of notches would have been an understatement.

Tommy had never seen Kouji so small and so fragile. For years, he had looked up at him, but now it was different. Yesterday, after stepping into the digital world, Tommy had turned to say something to his friend and found himself looking down. Kouji, if only two years older, had always seemed so much more mature than everybody else. His strength had been seemingly endless. So when Tommy realized that he now stood over him, he had felt a little strange. When, in this vast span of time, had so many things changed… and why had they all failed to notice?

None of that mattered anymore, because now their lives would never be the same. Kouichi's death had left the most devastating ache in all of their hearts, and Kouji seemed to be unfixable. Tommy couldn't help but think that things would be so much easier for everybody if he had died instead.

Kouji and Kouichi, since the day they were reunited, had been inseparable. To take one of the twins away from the other was just not fair. To have Kouji without Kouichi just didn't seem right. At the thought, Tommy suddenly remembered the day his friends had come over to help him get ready for his first school dance. A small smile crossed his face at the thought. Kouji and Kouichi had literally chased him down the stairs, taking turns as they yelled their "rules" at him.

'_No touching girls!'_

'_No talking to girls!'_

'_No looking at girls!'_

'_No standing next to girls!'_

'_No __**sitting **__next to girls!'_

'_No dancing with girls!'_

Zoe had grabbed both of the twins by the collars of their shirts, yelling at them to 'leave poor Tommy alone!' He couldn't stop himself from laughing a little at the memory.

"What're you thinking about?"

Tommy snapped out of his thoughts, looking up at JP. He frowned, realizing he was back in reality where his friend was dead, his brother had left him, and the world was at war. He would have given anything to go back to the past.

"I'm sorry," JP added quickly, bowing his head. "I shouldn't have asked—"

"—No, no. It's fine," Tommy explained, giving his companion a small smile. "Honestly, I was thinking about that time when I had to go to that dance a couple of years ago. Takuya was giving me bad advice, Zoe was obsessing with my clothes, and Kouji and Kouichi—"

"—Were 'parenting' you," JP laughed, shaking his head. "I remember that."

"I think you were the only one who_ wasn't_ making me more nervous."

"I think so too."

Both boys chuckled, lightening the mood a little. Tommy was glad he decided to share his thoughts with JP. Ever since they were kids, he had always been able to confide in him, and JP's sense of humour almost never ceased to lighten a room. He just wanted to talk about everything that had happened in these past two weeks, but he was scared to. He didn't want Kouji to hurt worse than he already did. He just didn't know how much longer he could keep all his sadness and grief locked up inside. Nevertheless, talking to JP was a good start.

The older teen lifted his eyes to the rock ceiling, deep in thought. "We had some good times, didn't we?" he whispered. "Wish we could go back. I don't think things would seem so hopeless if Kouichi was here."

Tommy nodded in agreement. "You're right." He let his head fall back against the wall and sighed lightly. "We already saved the worlds once. Couldn't fate and destiny just give us a freaking break?"

JP scoffed and rolled his eyes. "After what happened to Kouji and Kouichi, I don't think life plans on cutting us slack anytime soon."

Despondency started to thicken the atmosphere a bit. Tommy shut his eyes, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. As much as he wanted to talk everything out, that didn't stop the hurt from kicking in. All the blood from that horrid day was still etched into his brain, and he didn't think it would ever fully go away.

He heard footsteps shuffle into the room, but he didn't look that way. It was probably Kouji and Zoe, and he didn't want them to see him looking so sad.

"It's true. It's true! They're here!"

"I can't believe my eyes. You're both so grown up."

Tommy's eyes snapped open. He and JP looked to the doorway to find Seraphimon standing before them.

And standing behind the celestial digimon, clutching onto each of his legs, were Bokomon and Neemon.

* * *

><p><strong>KOUJI<strong>

He didn't know what to do. He started hyperventilating, unable to figure out how to get rid of the pain. He couldn't reopen those wounds on his arms—not here, not now. Kouji had his fists clenched so tightly that his nails were drawing blood in his palms. He just wanted to take it out on himself; all the pain and the guilt he was feeling was wearing him down. He had never felt anxiety like this. He wanted it all to just go _away_.

_This isn't happening, _Kouji tried to tell himself, closing his eyes and shaking his head. _None of this is real. This all has to be a bad dream. I couldn't have screwed everything up this badly. I can't be living like this. Not without Kouichi… not __**again.**_

He looked down at his trembling arms. Even with his eyes, he was able to make out every vicious red mark on his wrist. On his hand, the scars from Kouichi's nails were still glaring back at him. He just wanted to scream. This was what he deserved for allowing them to take Kouichi away. This was what he deserved for not protecting his friends… and what had become of his parents?

Kouji cried out, thrashing his arm against the stone wall as hard as he could… and again. He didn't want to deal with this agony anymore. If he had to stick this out until the very end… if the physical pain could take away the emotional pain—even for just a moment… then he was willing to do whatever it took to make it through. He gripped onto his hair, letting his forehead rest against the wall, and tried to regulate his breathing.

_Why did you do this to me, Kouichi? Why aren't you here next to me? I __**need **__you._

"Kouji…."

_Fuck. Not now._

He didn't turn his head to the source of the voice, because he knew it was Zoe who was standing there. The first time he had hurt himself, he had made sure to hide it from her, but there was no hiding it now. Kouji sighed as the guilt continued to beat away at him. He didn't want Zoe to see him like this. He had been holding back these feelings for so long just so he wouldn't scare her.

He expected her to scream at him. He waited, thinking she would storm over and slap him as hard as she could. But then, as he was waiting for the fallout, Zoe's shaking form turned him around and embraced him gently. She pulled his head onto her shoulder and held him securely, letting their fragile frames fall to the ground together. His body relaxed in her embrace, but he no longer had the strength to hug her back.

"I can't do it…" he mumbled in a broken voice, but he wasn't talking about hugging her. He thought back to his dream, where he had stubbornly stated that he wasn't going down without a fight. With his energy drained, that determination was gone. "I said I could, but I don't think I can."

Zoe put a finger under his chin, pulling his blurry gaze towards her. "Yes you can," she insisted, and there was a certain strength to her voice that Kouji knew he incapable of having. "We're _all _here to help you through this. And you may not feel it now, but Kouichi is there with you."

Kouji flinched at those words. He didn't want to talk about this. He didn't want to have to question whether there was an afterlife or not—or if Kouichi was able to look over them. He was afraid to, because he was scared that the honest truth would hurt too much for him to handle.

"You don't know that, Zoe," he replied dryly.

"I do! He is!" Zoe retorted, pushing away from him slightly. "You know Kouichi better than you know yourself. Even if he's not here physically, you know that your brother would _never _leave you to fend for yourself! You _know _that! No matter what! You're just so screwed up right now that you don't realize it!"

Kouji glared at her, irritated that she was even bringing this up. "Don't pretend like you _know _this, because honestly, you _don't." _He pulled back so that he wasn't yelling directly in her face. "You don't think I would know it if Kouichi was here in the room with us? Don't you get it, Zoe? I've _always _known when Kouichi was around. Even before we knew that he was Duskmon, I could always feel when he was close to me—without fault! So don't try to tell me that my brother is here, because he _isn't_! He's gone!"

"You know I'm right!" Zoe demanded fiercely, fighting through tears. "I know your connection with Kouichi was infallible, but you're not thinking right anymore! You're _really _messed up, and I _know_ it! Because if you were right in the head, you wouldn't have done _this _to yourself!"

She latched onto his left wrist, running her fingers over the scars, but keeping her sharp green eyes locked onto him. "What?" she hissed. "You thought you could keep this from me? You're smarter than that, for one! And most importantly, the Kouji I know and love would have _never _hurt himself."

Kouji's hard expression relaxed somewhat, and, realizing what she had just said, Zoe looked down at the ground, somewhat embarrassed. She composed herself rather quickly, however, and quickly faced him again—taking his hand.

"I care too much about you to let you do this to yourself," she explained softly, and though Kouji couldn't see it, he knew she was looking directly into his eyes—something she had avoided since that awful day. "Kouji, no matter where he is or isn't, Kouichi wouldn't want this. _I _don't want this. I don't want _you_ to die too—"

Zoe broke off, unable to swallow the sob stuck in her throat. She let go of his arm. When she spoke again, the strength in her voice had significantly dwindled. "_Kouji_," she whispered, forcing out his name. "I know you can't get over the survivor's guilt, but this isn't your fault. Kouichi was standing right next to you when it happened. It was too fast for either one of you to act, and it was a miracle that you managed to get Tommy out of the way." She reached up to put a hand on his cheek, leaning in closer. "You must've thought you were taking the full brunt of the attack, but Kouichi was there to take it with you—just like he always was. There was _nothing_ either of you could have done."

He felt her tears drip onto his arm, and soon, in spite of his blank exterior, he found himself fighting back his own. She was completely right, but he didn't want to listen to it. As much as Zoe thought he needed to hear this, did she realize that she was just reopening his wounds?

"Zoe," he started in a small voice, "Don't."

She bowed her head, unable to stop herself from completely breaking down. The guilt came prickling back. Kouji knew she was only trying to help him, and quite honestly, Zoe was the last person he ever wanted to hurt. She had done so much for him, and she worked so hard to make things easier for everybody. He knew that she was suffering too, but until now, she had put everything aside in order to care for him and the others.

Zoe very lightly placed her hands on his shoulders. "I-I'm scared to even be t-touching you," she cried. "I f-feel like you'll shatter into pieces if I do something wrong…. I hate s-seeing you like this. You're not allowed to do this to me, Kouji. You _can't._" She shook her head. "I don't want it to be this way. Why does this have to be so _hard_?"

Kouji didn't answer her, and he knew she didn't want him to. He just held her close and let her vent. In those next few moments, all her pain, sadness, and anger became so clear to him. She told him about how the monsters had sprayed gas in her face and caused her to hallucinate. She told him about seeing Kouichi and how she couldn't get the images out of her head. Tommy had been right. As much as Kouji didn't want to talk about everything that had happened, keeping all of these emotions locked up inside had done them no good.

They stayed there, holding each other, for what must have been an hour. As Zoe's sobs slowed and she was able to calm down, she seemed to drift off in his arms. Just having her in his arms made him feel better. Piece by piece, the anxiety he had been feeling faded away, and his strength and his determination began to come back to him. He _would _fight this war out to the end. As futile as it seemed, Kouji was resolute about giving all his remaining strength and energy to save the loved ones he had left—even if it killed him.

He felt Zoe lift her head from his chest, looking up at him wearily. After all of the trauma she had gone through in the past two days, Kouji realized that she must not have slept very much.

"Where are Tommy and JP?" she asked groggily.

He offered her a small smile before shrugging his shoulders. "All I heard was that they were recovering. We should probably go find them, I guess."

She nodded and leaned in to hug him one more time. He took her hand and squeezed it gently. But then, as Zoe started to pull away, her fingers trailed the scratches on his palm, and suddenly, all Kouji could think about was Kouichi being ripped away from him forever. He curled his fingers instinctively, just barely managing to stop Zoe from taking her hand away.

She turned to look at him, and Kouji felt so relieved that he pulled her closer.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," he assured her. "It's just… for a second there, I was afraid to let you go."

Zoe knelt down beside him, whispering, "I'm not gonna leave you."

And before Kouji had time to process what was happening, Zoe put a hand on his neck and started to lean in.

Their lips pressed together so easily that it was almost as if they had done this before. They hadn't. He had always wanted to, but they hadn't. But now, it didn't seem fair that he was only giving her part of him—the only damaged part that he had left. He just wondered if she had ever known how hard it was for him to keep his hands off of her. Did she ever know what he was thinking when—somewhere in the midst of a conversation—they would break off from the others and smile at each other? Did she know that the only reason he had never asked her out on a date was because of how much Takuya had anguished over her? Did she know just how thankful he was to have her at his side? He didn't think she did, but Kouji didn't know how to express it to her.

So instead of using words, he kissed her again, running his fingers through her hair. He tilted his head to the side as he nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck. Why was he allowing himself to get so much closer to Zoe after all that he had lost? He didn't think he could handle another crushing blow, but he just didn't want to let go of her. He supposed he would rather her know how he felt than have her never know at all. Life, as they both knew, was so dreadfully short.

One of Zoe's arms snaked around his back, and he could feel her cheek on his cheek and her breath on his ear. She pulled away slightly, resting her head on the wall, but still lying in his arms. Staring at her heavily blurred image, he suppressed the urge to instinctively rub and blink his eyes; he knew it wouldn't change anything.

"I miss being able to see you," he said at last, sighing.

Zoe managed a small, forced laugh, "I'm not that great."

Kouji shut his eyes, enclosing her small fingers in his cupped hands. "You're wrong," he stated. "You're so wrong."

"Hey, Tommy, I found 'em!"

"Zoe! Kouji! Look!"

Hearing the familiar voices of their dear friends (albeit slightly annoyed that they had chosen _now _to interrupt with their impeccable timing), Kouji and Zoe looked to the entrance of the room. He could make out Tommy's long, lanky figure and JP's tall, brawny form, but there were two others with them. He squinted, leaning closer to the yellow and white blobs at his friends' feet.

"Is that—?"

"_Incredibile_! Bokomon! Neemon!"

Although Kouji was still shaken up, when he realized that they were in the presence of their old companions, he couldn't stop the joy from taking over. He stumbled to his feet, still rather unsteady with the brace on his leg, and took a few steps forward. Neemon instantly latched onto his good leg while Bokomon took to Zoe.

"Oh, it's _so _good to see you both!" Bokomon announced, backing up to look them over. "It seems like just yesterday that we were together! But you've all gone and grown up on me! I'm so sorry, but I think I might cry!"

"Please don't, Bokomon, we've had enough of that," Kouji interjected bluntly.

The small, white digimon clutched onto his pant leg. "Kouji, my dear boy, I do hope you're feeling better. You were in such rough shape when you first got here, and we were so worried."

Kouji smirked, gathering that JP and Tommy must have caught their two friends up to date with nearly everything. "I'm feeling a lot better than I was," he said, giving Bokomon a short nod.

It was true that he felt better than before. There had been such incredible, painful pressure on his broken leg that he had thought he was going to be sick. It also hadn't helped that his crutches were digging into his arms. So, naturally, with the majority of his injuries taken care of, he felt significantly better. Of course, that didn't make his heart ache any less.

"Well, don't you worry your poor hearts anymore!" Bokomon exclaimed. "My baby will be in here soon to explain _everything._"

Neemon finally shuffled off of Kouji's leg and eyed the other digimon conspicuously. "Hey, why are you still calling him your "baby"? He's not a Patamon anymore."

Bokomon reached over and, just like Kouji remembered, promptly snapped Neemon's pants. The yellow digimon cried out and jumped away. "Well, of _course _he isn't!" Bokomon retorted, visibly annoyed. "But I'll always be his papa, won't I?"

JP laughed uncomfortably. "Sure you will, Bokomon, but you gotta admit… it's kinda demeaning."

Kouji smiled briefly. Again, this whole situation seemed so odd. Had it really been six years since they had all been together? It seemed like a family reunion, and yet, it wasn't complete. Takuya wasn't with them. Kouichi was gone. It didn't feel right to be reuniting without them. Kouji looked around the room, suddenly aware of just how big—how empty—it was. All around them, in this crushing, bittersweet atmosphere, was a deafening silence.

JP seemed to catch onto what he was feeling, sighing lightly and looking up at the ceiling. "It's just not the same, is it?"

"No," Kouji answered, crossing his arms over his chest as Zoe reached over to rub his back. "It sucks."

_Understatement of the year, _he thought. _There's nothing worse._

"It really isn't a proper reunion without Kouichi and Takuya," Bokomon added solemnly.

Kouji flinched. He had thought that hearing his brother's name would help him cope with the tremendous loss, but each time it was said was like a smack across the face. He stepped backwards, leaning into the wall and taking in the entire emptiness that was surrounding them. Inside, he felt hollow. It was like his heart was reaching out for something—or someone—who wasn't there.

The six of them stood there, taking in the silence, for a particularly long time. And then, inexplicably, something about the room changed.

A shudder raced down Kouji's spine. Around him, the same thing seemed to happen to the others.

"I just got goose bumps…" Zoe muttered.

"I did too," Tommy said. "I think we all just did."

JP nodded, but Kouji did not move. Suddenly, whatever his soul had been reaching out for had been found. The pain was still present, but the emptiness inside of him had been filled. He breathed in slowly, trying to soak up every second that this new, whole feeling was present. Physically, nothing had changed. From an outsider's point of view, the room would have looked exactly the same as it had a moment ago… but they would have been wrong if they said it was.

Zoe shuddered again. "Call me crazy, guys, but… it feels like somebody's watching us."

Nobody questioned her. They couldn't; there was an overwhelming presence in the room. And as the seconds ticked by, Kouji felt that familiar presence move closer and closer to him. He didn't move. He didn't dare to do anything that could have possibly ruined that poignant, fragile moment.

"Zoe…" Kouji whispered. "You were right."

He reached out slightly with his hand, trying to make contact. No more than half a second later, there was a light, but very noticeable, pressure on his palm.

Kouji shut his eyes, taking in a sharp, shaking breath. The others gasped softly. Before he could stop them, tears were leaking through and racing down his face. It was both the most incredible and the most heartbreaking moment that he had experienced in his entire life.

"Kouichi's here."

The pressure on his hand turned into fingers intertwining with his. Nobody was tangibly there, but Kouji knew he could never confuse a vague feeling with his twin brother's spirit. He squeezed his grip a little tighter, fighting the insufferable urge to pull Kouichi back into the world of the living. Even though the voice in the back of his head told him that it was impossible, Kouji still wanted to try. He wanted this moment to last forever. He wanted his _brother._

_Stay… _he begged silently. _Kouichi, please._

But there was no answer, and as soon as the moment had begun, it ended. Kouji's fingers curled into a fist, and the strange feeling vanished from the room. The emptiness filled him again, and he dropped his hand. Around him, there was a mix of joy, tears, and shock—wondering if what had just happened had _really, truly _happened.

Where his brother had once been holding his hand, Zoe's fingers soon filled the spaces.

Kouichi wasn't there anymore… but he had been.

* * *

><p><strong>END OF CHAPTER 6<strong>


	8. Resilience

**A/N: **And… we're back!

* * *

><p><strong>Dangerous Memories <strong>  
>Revised: July 24, 2013<br>Chapter 7: Resilience  
>"You say you're tired and you just wanna close your eyes<br>And follow your dreams down.  
>Well, we made a promise<br>We swore we'd always remember  
>No retreat, baby, no surrender<br>Like soldiers on a winter's night  
>With a vow to defend<br>No retreat, baby, no surrender."  
>-<em> No Surrender,<em> Bruce Springsteen

**TOMOKO**

It had been two weeks—two long, grueling, and torturous weeks that they had been separated from their boys. They had hoped, when hearing of more people coming through the barrier, that Kouichi and Kouji would be among them. They weren't. With every person that passed through, coping with the situation just became more and more difficult; her façade was breaking. She stared at the barrier, holding her breath and fighting back the tears. Tomoko knew she had to be strong—for Satomi, for Kousei, and for her babies.

They really weren't babies anymore. They would be turning eighteen in mere weeks. But to Tomoko, they would always be _her _babies—especially Kouji, who she had lost so much precious time with; they had been reunited for almost six years, and she still could not find a way to properly make up for all that lost time. She just needed to see them—to hold them close and know that they were safe. More than anything, Tomoko wished that she had not left for work that morning.

She remembered starting her coffee and walking up the steps to the twins' room that morning. The sun was just beginning to peek through the windows, but the room seemed dark. She leaned in and kissed each of them on the forehead, reminding them that she was leaving for work and they would be at their father's that night. When Kouji raised his head to smile at her, and Kouichi muttered a tired "love you too," she felt something tugging at her heartstrings. If she had listened to it, that wouldn't have been the last time that she saw her sons.

She had only been halfway through her first shift when the news came flooding in.

Survivors had flooded the hospital, screaming of monsters and beasts attacking the town. Others—coworkers and friends of hers—began sobbing when they realized that there was a strange white shield blocking them from their families. Tomoko remembered the instantaneous panic that gripped her entire body, and for the first time _ever_, she completely disregarded her job and fled from the hospital. She took her work very seriously, but nothing and nobody was more important to her than the twins. And it was that first day at the barrier that she found Satomi and Kousei… and only them. It was that first day when they all discovered that even the National Guard could not break through the barrier.

Now, looking around at all the full families and relieved parents, Tomoko felt anger. Why did it seem like everybody was being reunited except for her family? Why did people feel it was okay to openly talk about what they had seen on the battlefield? They knew she was missing her children, but that didn't stop them. Now, all she could think of was ruthless warzones, otherworldly creatures, and the fact that Kouichi and Kouji were still missing.

She glanced over at Kousei and Satomi and found them silently watching the barrier. A moment later, Kousei pulled out his cell phone and seemed to scroll through the messages. She already knew what he was seeing, as he had done this again and again since all of this had happened. It had become somewhat of a nervous habit, looking through the messages from the twins, but she didn't blame him. Those texts were the only piece they had of them at the moment—from something sweet or thoughtful from Kouichi to something blunt or sarcastic from Kouji. _That_ was rather peculiar to see, she had to admit, because whenever they messaged _her_, those roles were typically reversed.

Oh, she missed them so much. She only hoped that they were safe and sound. That hope was the only thing keeping her sane.

"It really is a shame about those two twins! How _awful_."

All at once, Tomoko, Kousei, and Satomi lifted their heads to the sound of the voice. Her heart started to slam against her chest, and that was when she realized who had spoken. The woman—standing with a boy who appeared to be about Kouichi and Kouji's age—turned to smirk at her; there was something particularly nasty about it. This woman, for whatever reason, had always been rude to her. Her son, Tomoko believed, was in the same grade as the boys. At every sports event, every award and recognition ceremony, and every presentation, that woman had a snide or flat-out rude comment to share. Whenever Kouji or Kouichi would be recognized for something, she could never hold back her sigh or bite her tongue long enough for anyone to enjoy it. She was so disgustingly competitive, and now, she seemed to believe that she had finally won.

Tomoko thought she would be sick.

"What do you mean?" Kousei asked worriedly, moving towards her and placing a comforting hand on Tomoko's shoulder. "What pair of twins are you talking about?"

Several people turned to watch while others turned away. From behind Tomoko, Satomi looped her arm with hers.

The woman responded with a painfully fake gasp of shock. "Oh, you mean you haven't heard? I'm _so _sorry to be the barer of bad news about the boys—"

"—_Don't lie_," Satomi snapped, her fingers curling into two tight fists. "This isn't something you can joke about. This is _serious_."

A sharp laugh came from the woman, who turned to the crowd of onlookers. "You've all heard, haven't you? Oh, it was just tragic! Apparently they just… got in the way! It really is so terrible. I can't _imagine _losing _my _son, but to lose _two _of them?" She put a hand to her heart, forcing a frown. "Ah, well it personally brings my heart joy to know that the twins died _together _and not alone!"

Tomoko could not stand it any longer. She slipped out of Satomi's gentle hold and collapsed to the ground—her knees scraping against the road. Her hands flew to her ears, desperately attempting to block out the horrible words that this woman was spewing. No. Not her babies. The gods would not take _both _of the twins away from her, never mind just _one _of them. Nobody was saying anything. Nobody even tried to stop this woman from lying to her. Did that mean…?

"Hey! Turn around, bitch!"

Tomoko glanced up just in time to see the woman turn behind her. She barely managed to get two words out before someone threw a punch that knocked her over instantly. She landed on the ground, screaming and cussing, but nobody even pretended to act concerned. When Tomoko looked back to the attacker, she felt relieved to see the familiar blonde hair and green eyes.

"Those are my daughter's friends you're talking about!" she screamed, taking another step toward the woman. "Now get the fuck out of here! I'm not afraid to knock you on your ass again!"

The woman did as she was told, dragging her clearly mortified son with her. After taking a second to collect herself, Kaida Orimoto turned on her heel and looked at them with a reassuring smile. Behind Kaida, her husband, Stefano, approached them. Satomi, though trembling and a little unsteady herself, helped Tomoko to her feet. Tomoko took a deep, shaky breath, wiping away the tears that were streaming down her cheeks.

"Now don't you listen to her one bit, Tomoko," Kaida insisted. "Don't let her plant that seed of doubt in your head. She's just jealous because the three of you have such talented, likeable boys. And don't you think for one second that you're alone in all of this. Zoe and the other boys aren't here either. And I, for one, have no trouble believing that they're all together!"

Tears glazed over Kaida's eyes, but her smile remained true. She took one of Tomoko's hands and one of Satomi's. Beside Kousei, Stefano crossed his arms over his chest and nodded his head.

"Kouji, Kouichi, and Zoe are going to be just fine," he said, turning to smile at Kousei. "They all are. I can feel it."

* * *

><p><strong>JP<strong>

He sat in stunned silence.

It had to have been a solid hour since they had felt Kouichi's undeniable presence in the room, but JP couldn't stop thinking about it. They had spent so long fretfully wondering if they would ever see their beloved friend again. To know that he was still somehow there—watching over all of them—was the most incredible feeling in the world.

Initially, when that strange, overwhelming feeling had filled the room, JP hadn't known what was happening. Like Zoe, he'd had the sense that somebody was watching them from where they couldn't see. It wasn't until Kouji made tangible contact with his brother and announced it that JP felt him too. As miraculous as the moment was, it had been incredibly frustrating for JP to not be able to speak to Kouichi—to hear his voice and say everything that he wished he could.

'_We have to get him out of here!'_

'_And just __**leave **__everyone?'_

'_What are we supposed to do, JP? We don't have our D-Tectors, in case you forgot!'_

JP shut his eyes, remembering exactly how he had to bite his tongue and _walk away _from Kouichi. If he hadn't gotten irritated with him—if he hadn't moved away at that _exact _moment—he could have done _something. _He could have saved Kouichi's life or prevented Kouji's injuries. If he had just put their pitiful little tiff aside and stayed next to him, everything would be different. All he had wanted to do was ask for Kouichi's forgiveness—even if he didn't need it, even if it wasn't his fault. He just needed all of his friends to know how closely he held them to his heart.

At the thought, JP lifted his gaze to Kouji. He was seated rather contently with his legs stretched out in front of him. JP was relieved to see that his friend wasn't in pain. It was the first time in two weeks that Kouji had been able to put weight on his bad leg; seeing him walk around like he wasn't even injured was unreal. Zoe was seated beside him. Her head was on his shoulder, and although Kouji seemed rather dazed by everything that had happened, his hand was placed over hers. The two of them looked rather comfortable. JP couldn't help but wonder if he and Tommy had interrupted something.

He tried to gage how Kouji was feeling, but he couldn't tell. He was smiling sincerely at Zoe, but his eyes—however cloudy—seemed tired and distant.

Zoe, on the other hand, was holding onto Kouji like she was never gonna let go.

"JP, can you please lift your arm for me?"

He jumped slightly when he realized that Swanmon was right next to him, but smiled and did as she asked. The digimon took his measurements quickly and carefully—working as diligently as ever. JP had to bite back the urge to ask where the digital babies and the eggs were. To be entirely honest, he was afraid of the answer.

"Now that we all appear to be settled in, I believe it's time for me to explain exactly what is going on," Seraphimon announced, coming to stand beside Bokomon.

Nobody said anything. JP had the feeling that everyone was still in shock, though they were all more than ready to hear the truth behind all of this madness. The world was not going to stop for anybody, and the war was not going to pause just because they needed a moment or two to process everything. This war kept going even when Kouichi had been ripped away from them, and it kept going even though Kouji needed to stay off of his leg. _Time is ruthless, _JP mused, shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath. _All we can do is roll with the punches._

"I'm sure you're all wondering about your families."

Instantly, upon hearing those words, everybody perked up.

"Are they here?" Tommy asked, his eyes wide and his fingers clenched. "Are they okay?"

"I'm afraid I do not know how they are fairing, Tommy Himi, but I do know that they are not here," Seraphimon explained. "The barrier is intended to block digital creatures from the outside world and keep humans from the inside. For you four, it is different. You were each destined to be legendary warriors since the day you were born. Somewhere inside of each of you, the power to spirit evolve is coded on your DNA. When you passed through the barrier, it recognized you not as humans… but as digimon."

JP raised an eyebrow and looked at the others, who looked equally confused. This sort of stuff had been easy enough to go along with when they were kids, but now that they were in their late teens, it was all a little difficult to grasp. He thought about himself and his friends; although they had done extraordinary things, they didn't _seem _so different from everybody else.

Seraphimon cleared his throat. "I'm not sure if you're all aware, but it is no accident that you were attacked. You were targeted."

"By _who_?" Zoe asked. "And why?"

"A monster—the one controlling the virusmon." Seraphimon shook his head, releasing a small sigh. "His name is Abraxasmon. He has the ability to absorb old data and corrupt new data. His ideals are similar to those of Lucemon, whom he holds with high regard. As a result, he knows very well how Lucemon was defeated, and he seeks to destroy those who were responsible—all of you."

A shudder raced down JP's spine, and for the first time since they had discovered the digital world, he just wished he had been born normal. No, they probably wouldn't have met, and it was a horrible thought, but it would have spared them all so much pain.

Seraphimon turned to focus on Kouji. "When you were all still children, Salamon, Lopmon, and I explained to the others that Lucemon could only be destroyed when darkness and light became one. You and Kouichi were away from us, but after the events that unfolded in the last battle, I'm sure you know by now: It was a prophecy. And although Abraxasmon created the barrier to contain all six of you, I do believe this prophecy was the reason why the two of you did not fair well."

Kouji dropped his head and looked at the floor, his emotions completely unreadable. Suddenly, JP felt incredible guilt for having wished that he could just be normal. For Kouji, the stakes were so much higher. His ties to the digital world were so much more crucial than the rest of theirs—targeting him whether he wanted it to happen or not. It was the reason he had been hurt. It was the reason Kouichi died.

"So why are we here?" Tommy asked suddenly, contempt in his voice. His hands were curled into two tight fists. "This Abraxasmon has already crippled us. We've been through enough as it is. Why are you forcing us into war? Why couldn't you just let us be?"

Kouji raised his head to glare at him. "And let him get away with it?" he snapped. "He killed my brother, and the last time I checked, Kouichi was your _friend _too, Tommy. You want to let that go unpunished?" Zoe tried to put a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged her off. "We are the _only _ones who can stop this. The legendary warriors exist through _us _and us alone. If we back out now, not only do these virusmon get away with _everything, _but we will be singlehandedly allowing them to kill more people. What if those people are your _parents_?"

Tommy responded by glaring back at him, and it was silent for a moment. Eventually, Tommy dropped his gaze, but Kouji kept at it. "I know you'd rather be with Yutaka right now," he said curtly, "but at least _your _brother is alive. And if you wanna keep it that way, I suggest you stay put. If I can still fight, so can you."

JP had not expected Kouji to cut into Tommy the way that he did. He was absolutely right, but that did not stop JP from feeling badly for his youngest friend. "Kouji…" he started, but he did not continue. He did not know what to say.

Kouji sighed and looked away from them. This time, Zoe did not try to comfort him. Instead, she turned to JP and Tommy and shook her head. "This is hard for all of us. There's a lot of tension right now. I don't want to have to do this anymore than you, Tommy, but Kouji's right. We have to. We can do this together."

Tommy pulled his knees into his chest. "I know…" he murmured. "Too bad we aren't together."

Seraphimon cleared his throat, recapturing their attention. "If it's any consolation, when Takuya attempts to leave your town with his family, his fractal code will also force him into the digital world." He paused briefly, allowing the information to sink in. "And although it is not quite the same, there is another warrior here who is capable of holding the spirits of darkness as well as his own."

At once, JP, Zoe, and Tommy all turned to face Kouji. Zoe gently clutched onto his arm. "Why didn't you tell us? You have Lowemon?"

He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. "No. I mean—" Kouji stopped, considered his words, and seemed to change his mind about something. "No. Just Lobomon and KendoGarurumon." He glanced up at Seraphimon. "And I don't know what you think the meaning of 'capable' is, but the last time I tried to control light and darkness at the same time wasn't exactly pleasant. I was completely unstable."

Seraphimon nodded. "Of course you were. Light and darkness might be brothers, but darkness is also the opposite of your element. While Lucemon was able to maintain both elements at once, light and darkness are split between you and your twin brother—who started as one, but ended up as two. You and Kouichi were never destined to fight alone, and now that he has passed on, it is reasonable to believe that you should be the one to inherit his spirits. Kouichi's soul, as I'm sure you've realized by now, is with you."

JP smiled. "Yeah, come on!" he exclaimed. "There's no denying that we just felt him in the room with us. Kouji, that goes literally for you."

He thought he saw a small smile cross his friend's lips, but he masked it quickly. "Kouichi may be watching over us," he began, facing them, "but Lowemon is gone. He's not with me, and he's not searching for us. Lobomon doesn't have any idea what happened. He just… vanished."

Was this what Kouji had started to say earlier? That Lowemon's spirit was long gone? Had he stopped telling them to spare them from the hopelessness? JP thought that might be the case, because at that moment, he felt that their chances were particularly slim. Nevertheless, he told himself to rid of those dejected thoughts; if they were going to win this war, he couldn't think that way.

"Seraphimon?" Zoe started in a small voice. "Where are Ophanimon and Cherubimon?"

At those words, the air in the room became unbearably thick once again. All around them, the digimon had stopped moving. Seraphimon dropped his head slightly and exhaled. The whole thing felt like a kick in the gut for JP, who was positive, at this point, that the digital world had suffered just as much damage as their own.

"Cherubimon has taken refuge with more allies on the other side of the world. The last I knew, he was at the Rose Morning Star, but with Abraxasmon's army building, I do not believe he is still there," Seraphimon explained. "Ophanimon, I'm afraid, has lost her battle in this war. Abraxasmon has long since scanned and corrupted her data. I have yet to face her, but I do not doubt that he will use her abilities to his advantage."

"So he's able to control these digimon that he defeats?" Tommy asked, noticeably distraught. "Just how bad is this guy? We brought peace to this world. How did this happen?"

"I'm sorry to say, Tommy, that there are some creatures who are born corrupt," Seraphimon replied in a low voice. "Abraxasmon is unlike any digimon we've ever known. He has great power. We started noticing these corrupted digimon at the beginning of the year, but we hadn't known them to be such a threat at the time. They just appeared to be young virus-types. We had no idea that it would expand into this, but we have committed ourselves to saving what remains of precious data and restoring the peace. When word spread that Abraxasmon's army had broken through to your world and attacked, we knew it was necessary to reach out to you. Just yesterday, I was able to sense that you were all close-by, and I was able to make a connection."

_Wait… yesterday?_

JP cocked his head to the side. "That happened yesterday for us too."

Zoe looked at him oddly, raising an eyebrow. "Well, duh. What do you mean?"

"Don't you remember?" he interrogated. "The first time we left for the digital world, we left at 6:10. We were gone for _months. _When did we come back?"

Kouji's eyes widened slightly. "6:10," he replied, quickly realizing what JP was saying. "On the same day."

Tommy and Zoe instantly caught on and looked to Seraphimon, confused. The celestial digimon held up a hand. "Allow me to explain," he started, prompting them to hold their questions. "I believe that when Abraxasmon found a way to break through to your earth, he formed a strange connection between both worlds. Time matched up. Also, it seems that injuries are illnesses are taking a longer amount of time to overcome in our world—the amount, I think, that it would take in yours. Because of this strange occurrence, all of you must be very careful. Sprains and concussions will not heal within a day anymore."

They nodded, pausing to reflect on everything that had been said. Honestly, it was quite a lot to process, but after everything that had happened, JP felt sure that they could figure it all out. They had done this before, he had to keep reminding himself, and feeling confident about doing it again was crucial to their success. They just had to be careful—_so _careful—because death was so agonizingly irreversible.

"So what do we do now?" Tommy asked quietly. "Where do we go from here?"

"For now, it would be wise to get used to your spirits and adjust to using them again," Seraphimon suggested. "Mind you, because you are now carrying your spirits internally, it is possible that their presence will take a toll on you all. I expect that spirit evolving will take quite a bit more out of you."

'A bit' certainly classified as an understatement, JP thought to himself. After reverting back to his human form, he hadn't even been able to stand. It took him over an hour to feel normal again.

"In a day or two," Seraphimon continued, "we should attempt to regroup with Cherubimon's group. I will stand guard here if you will set out to find them. Although we are hidden beneath the ground now, it is very likely that Abraxasmon will find us when he wants to. When that time will arrive, I am not sure, so we must work quickly and diligently."

Bokomon piped up, jumping forward. "Yes, of course, but today is certainly a different story. You all look thin and worn, and some sleep and food will do you good."

Zoe groaned, relieved. "_Por favore_!" she cried out. "We're starving!"

Swanmon appeared behind her, placing a wing on her back. "Don't you worry," she insisted. "We're going to take good care of you all. We'll do everything we can."

And as horrible as life had been lately, JP felt thankful to be in the presence of such good friends.

* * *

><p><strong>KOUJI<strong>

It felt good to get something to eat and have time to relax, but Kouji's head would not stop spinning. All of this had happened so fast, and he was still finding it difficult to process all of it. He bent and unbent his leg, still flinching each time, but the pain never came. All he could feel was a slight burning sensation, which the head Starmon had told him was from the medicine on his wounds. Over those gashes were bandages, and over all of that was the black brace—which, he had just recently discovered, could be removed… but that was not recommended.

At his knee, the brace had to be unlatched and a button had to be pressed, and as soon as that happened, the brace would detach itself from him. When they had changed their clothes an hour or so ago, he had seen this in action for the first time, but they never warned him that it would hurt so badly. The brace literally _was _attached to him, and removing it meant extracting it from his skin. He had no idea how it worked, but as long as the pain stayed away, he didn't care to know.

Kouji looked down at himself again. He couldn't really see his clothing very well, but he did know that he was wearing dark jeans, a white t-shirt, and a tan, collared jacket with sleeves that went half-way down his forearms. They didn't cover his scars—or the violent bruises that had appeared on his left arm—but he supposed that nobody would really be surprised anyway.

Zoe wasn't.

He glanced over to where she had fallen asleep speaking to Bokomon. She looked… at peace. The hours of sleep ahead of her were well deserved. Zoe, as well as Tommy and JP, was dressed in clothing identical to his (the only difference being that his jeans cut off where his bandages began). He wanted to move closer to her—to wrap around her so that they could sleep close together—but she was already sleeping, and he didn't want to wake her up. It didn't help that he currently felt like he had chugged seven cups of coffee.

He didn't know what it was. Ever since he had reconnected with Lobomon, he had felt somehow unstable—like at any moment, he would shatter into pieces. It wasn't that he felt upset or overwhelmed; he just felt jittery and anxious, and he didn't know why. He had started to mention it to the others earlier, ultimately deciding against it. Unfortunately, it was a rather uncomfortable feeling that prevented him from sleeping, and all he could do to keep his mind off of it was focus on his breathing.

Focusing on breathing, however, did not stop him from thinking about Kouichi.

He had felt him—really, physically touched him—and now Kouichi was gone again. That aching hole in his heart had returned, but he felt better knowing that his brother's soul _was _out there—somewhere, somehow. But as great as that was, without Kouichi by him all the time, and because nobody else could ever understand and speak to him the way that his twin did, Kouji still felt unquestionably lonely.

"Hey."

He raised his eyes and found Meteormon standing before him. The digimon seemed a little uncertain, and Kouji knew it was because he had snapped at him earlier. He patted the ground beside him, assuring his friend that it was okay. Meteormon instantly eased up and took a seat.

"How are you?"

He scoffed. "Great!" he exclaimed, his voice low enough so as not to disturb the others. "Just perfect."

Meteormon seemed to smirk at him. "And _I'm _the smartass! You haven't changed a bit!" He examined his friend for a moment. "Although, last I remember, you were around the same height as everyone else."

The digimon smiled and Kouji glared at him. "_Funny_," he hissed. He laughed lightly, shaking his head. "I used to be able to carry Tommy around, but now he's got like two inches over me. Whatever. I mean, I'm not surprised. My parents aren't very tall either." Turning to face Meteormon, he raised an eyebrow. "So what about you? You don't turn back into a Gotsumon anymore?"

The digimon shook his head. "Nope. Not unless I get hurt or somethin'… but then I just evolve again."

"_Great_. Well, if I call you Gotsumon, don't get offended. I'm not used to this."

Meteormon chuckled softly before looking down at his feet. For a moment, the room grew awkwardly quiet, and Kouji knew it was coming before it did.

"What _happened, _Kouji?"

He sighed and let his head rest against the wall. For days, Kouji had replayed the attack in his mind over and over again—sometimes, involuntarily. However, he had _never _repeated it out loud. He and the others had intentionally avoided doing that, to which Kouji had felt thankful… but he supposed that he couldn't avoid it forever. If he ever saw his parents again, he would _have _to talk about it.

_And they're going to wish it had been you instead._

Kouji shook his head, trying to force out the negative thoughts.

"We don't have to talk about it…" Meteormon offered, placing a hand on his knee. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I just don't understand."

"I don't either…" Kouji whispered, turning to face his friend again. "It's okay. You deserve to know." He took a deep breath, the anxious feeling only worsening. "We were all just hanging out one day, and weird stuff started happening. Before we knew it, we were completely surrounded by those monsters… but they were _huge, _and they were _everywhere. _They just started… killing."

That word—_killing_—hung in the air. Images of the dead came rushing back to him, and Kouji flinched, suddenly feeling ill. There had been blood everywhere.

"Long story short, one of them sent a bolt of lightning at the ground, and it hit us. I lived through it. Kouichi didn't."

The line of his jaw tightened, as did his throat. The intruding thoughts came back.

_Don't listen to Zoe. She's lying. She thinks you could have saved him._

Meteormon's grip on his knee tightened somewhat. "Lightning… is that why you're in such bad shape?"

Kouji nodded stiffly. "Thank god for Starmon. My leg was so bad that I could barely walk. The last time I tried to put pressure on it, the bone _snapped_," he recalled, cringing. "But there's no fixing my vision. Everything's just blurs of color, and I think it's getting worse.

"They blinded you…."

"Mostly."

_And they all think you deserved it. That's why Takuya left. And Tommy. He must hate you._

Kouji gritted his teeth together. As hard as he tried, the negative thoughts kept coming back. He could hear them in his own voice, which made him wonder just how sleep-deprived he truly was. But he couldn't sleep. His body was tired, but his mind was wide-awake. Kouji sat on his hands, so as not to worry Meteormon more than necessary and to stop himself from digging his nails into his palms.

_Why should you care about worrying them? __**You're **__the one suffering. You're the one who's always __**alone. **__Why don't your feelings come first?_

Why was he thinking these things?

"Stop it…" he managed between gritted teeth.

Meteormon, who had been spacing out, turned to look at him. Kouji just closed his eyes tightly and didn't say another word. Why did he feel like this? Inside, he felt like his body was tearing itself apart, and without warning, he was overcome with feelings of anger, resentment, and emptiness. It absolutely befuddled him, because, apart from feeling particularly empty inside, he hadn't been feeling this way at all. Today had been an incredible, although emotional, day… so what was wrong? How could nothing trigger such maddening anxiety?

_What's wrong with me?_

_**Everything.**_

"Kouji… I'm so sorry. I wish I could make this all better."

"You can't," he whispered back weakly. Keeping his eyes shut, he took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "I'm feeling pretty tired. I should probably get some shut eye."

"Yeah…" Meteormon responded, standing. "Understandable. Oh! Before I go, I have something for you!"

He held out his hand, where something blue was residing. Kouji squinted hard at the object, but Meteormon quickly realized he couldn't see and placed it in his hands. The smooth fabric felt good on his rough palms, and as he unfolded it, Kouji realized that it was his bandana.

"Thanks…" he mumbled, his eyes softening.

"No problem," Meteormon insisted, waving goodbye as he walked away. "See you in the morning."

Kouji didn't respond. His focus had gone to the bandana in his hands.

It reminded him of home. Years ago, after chopping off his long hair, he and Kouichi had walked home to a very flustered father and amused stepmother. Kousei had shook his head at the perfectly identical pair, groaning, '_I can't believe you two are doing this to us.' _Satomi simply smiled, taking the bandana from Kouji's grip and tying it loosely around his neck. '_Just for a little while,' _she explained. Kousei chuckled before pointing at them and saying, '_And by a little while, we mean you're never allowed to take that off, Kouji.'_

And he never did. But now, he didn't need the bandana to differentiate him from Kouichi; he was the only twin left and, quite possibly, the only one left in his family. At the thought, the loneliness came rushing back, and this time, it came full force and with crippling intensity. He collapsed onto his side, clutching his bandana close to his heart.

_You will fail._

He pulled his knees to his chest, unable to rid of his thoughts. He had no choice: he couldn't fight them off any longer, and he couldn't fight off the anxiety… so instead of fighting, he let it all overpower him. Around him, darkness seemed to creep in—threatening to suffocate him if he so much as considered struggling against it. Suddenly, he realized that he hadn't seen the light in weeks; real, authentic light had managed to escape his world without even the slightest warning. It was so dark.

_It's over._

So dark.

* * *

><p><strong>END OF CHAPTER 7<strong>


	9. Bonds

****A/N: ****I realize that this chapter is a bit different stylistically (in comparison to the others) and may seem a little rushed/short, but it was crucial to get the story moving again. Because of that, chapter 9 is nearly done as well and will be published soon! Thank you for reading!

* * *

><p><strong>Dangerous Memories<br>****January 10, 2014  
><strong>Chapter 8: Bonds  
>"Will we be friends<br>When we grow old  
>Or is this the end of the line?<br>I hurt with you  
>I love with you<br>The world just seems to get in our way."  
><em>End of the Line, <em>Christi Mac

* * *

><p><strong>TAKUYA<strong>

The sky seemed grayer than normal, but there were no monsters to be found. All around them, silence conquered. Takuya knew better, however, than to trust the stillness of the world. The last time he had done that, his life had changed forever, and now he was just barely clinging on to the crumbling pieces of its foundation.

Shinya stood close to him, holding his brother to the promise that nothing would happen to them. Takuya kept his fists clenched, ready to go on the defensive if anything prevented him from getting his family to safety. His father kept a hand on the gun strapped to his belt, not quite holding it but fully prepared to use it if matters came to it. His mother stood directly behind he and Shinya, her arms lifted protectively from her sides. Yutaka led them from a couple feet ahead—still taking it upon himself to be the leader. They were a lot alike in that regard, Tommy had told him.

Suddenly, a terrible screech from quite a distance away echoed over the town. The five of them instantly stopped in their tracks, turning toward the voice. Nothing could be seen in the horizon—not yet—but Takuya would not mistake that cry for anything else. He closed his eyes and focused, trying not to panic.

_Agunimon_?

_Don't be afraid. You're very close. Keep moving._

"We can't afford to stop," Takuya insisted. "Please. Let's keep going."

Yutaka eyed him curiously, but said nothing and continued forward. His family, on the other hand, did not appear to question his words at all. Takuya picked up his pace, urging them along with him. He felt more and more anxious by the second, determined to reach the invisible barrier that Agunimon had assured him of. He wished he could communicate with the others—just to make sure that the digital world was safe—just to make sure that _they_ were safe. He'd heard the horrific snap of Kouji's damaged leg and the terror and agony in Tommy's voice. He'd seen the pure anger on Zoe's face and the sheer disappointment in JP's eyes. He just wanted to make it up to them. There was nothing that Takuya treasured more than his friends and family, and he knew he would not make it through without them by his side.

He glanced up just in time to see Yutaka vanish completely. Shocked and unprepared, Takuya threw a hand out in front of his brother to stop him. His family gasped, totally oblivious to the situation. The entire image in front of them suddenly rippled like water, proving that the pathway before them was no more than a façade.

"Yutaka," Shinya breathed. "Where'd he go?"

Slowly, Takuya pushed his hand into the barrier. It felt like they were separated from the other side by a very thin layer of liquid.

_Takuya, _Agunimon's voice called out to him. _This is it._

Another screech—accompanied by an enraged roar—echoed over them. This time, it was significantly closer.

"We have to go!" Takuya said, turning to face his family. "We'll be safe if we go through this! Just trust me!"

"How can you be sure?" his father asked softly, yet urgently. "Takuya, what if—?"

"Dad, _please_!"

If he had to push his parents and brother through the barrier, he would. Thankfully, however, his father nodded his head and took hold of his mother's hand. His mother gripped onto Takuya's shoulder.

"Let's go," she said.

Takuya, gripping his brother's arm securely, led them into the trembling barrier.

For a moment, everything went dark and his body went numb. He did not feel fear because he trusted Agunimon's word. Nevertheless, the "thin layer" he had initially believed to be separating them from the Digital World seemed to turn into some sort of large pool of water.

And then his foot touched land. He inhaled deeply, his body adjusting to the air around him. He opened his eyes, and, at last, the Digital World was all around him. He recognized its skies and the difference in the air. All around him, however, the world was abandoned. Where were all the digimon? Where was all the life? He took in another deep breath, preparing to explain to his family exactly what was going on, but when he turned around, he was left facing nothing more than a blinding light that stretched endlessly over the Digital World.

Panic gripped him. He frantically looked to the left, then the right. He turned around again, desperate to find his family, but they weren't there; they weren't _anywhere. _His heart began pounding, and his brain told him that he was _stupid_. He should have pushed them through the barrier _first_.

"Shinya!" he screamed at the shield of light. "Mom! Dad…! Yutaka!"

Nothing—only the painful echo of his own horrified voice.

He collapsed onto his hands and knees, shaking and choking on frantic sobs. Did they get attacked before he had walked through? Had something captured them when he hadn't been looking? He replayed it in his head over and over again, analyzing every single detail and how it could have gone wrong. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, but he had no idea who would hear him and what would happen. He had absolutely no idea what to do.

And that was when he saw the army of creatures headed his way.

* * *

><p><strong>FIVE DAYS LATER<strong>

* * *

><p>Returning to the Digital World, finding his friends, and reuniting with old companions should have all been happy occasions, but they weren't. Instead of celebrating a joyful reunion, he fell on his knees before his friends and sobbed that he was sorry—for leaving them, for being so distant, and for losing Yutaka along the way. After passing through the barrier, discovering that his family and Yutaka had not gone through with him had been extremely overwhelming. That, of course, had been before the allies had found him and Seraphimon had explained everything.<p>

He had been met with hugs and forgiveness from JP, Zoe, Bokomon, and Neemon. Standing away from him and remaining silent, however, were Kouji and Tommy; _that, _Takuya supposed, was what hurt the most. To have his best friend and "adopted" little brother angry with him had only made him feel worse about himself. He had tried to put those concerns aside upon hearing about their impending journey to the Rose Morning Star, but it had not been easy.

"Hey. Still not talking to me?"

Tommy didn't even look at him. He put his hands in his pockets and faced the other way. Takuya sighed and looked down at his feet as they walked. They had been traveling for three days at this point, and he had grown tired of the silence. There were no monsters to fight, and there were no conversations to be had. All around them, there was nothingness. Every now and then, Bokomon would comment sadly on how things had changed—how _they _had changed. '_We're not little kids anymore, Bokomon,' _Kouji had replied bitterly.

Takuya wanted more than anything to be able to talk to Kouji, but every time he tried to, things felt too awkward to do so. He sensed that something had changed in Kouji. He seemed quieter—more introverted than Takuya could ever remember him being. Every now and then, getting Kouji's attention could prove to be somewhat of a task for all of them; it was as though he was lost somewhere deep within his mind.

He looked all around him and tried to remember. _This _was the place where they met. _This _was their second home… but Takuya didn't feel at home. He felt great unease, tension, and sadness all around, and it was quickly becoming unbearable. He closed his eyes, his mind drifting back to what it was like to be twelve years old. It had still been complicated, but he would have given anything to have it all back. He wanted to defeat Lucemon all over again. He wanted to see Kouji and Kouichi standing side-by-side as he and the others gawked at their uncanny resemblance. He wanted to experience his beast spirit for the first time again in spite of the incredible instability. He would do it over and over if it just meant that this war would stop existing.

JP suddenly stopped, placing his hands on his knees and shaking his head. "I'm sorry, guys," he said. "I'm exhausted. I didn't sleep at all last night. Every little noise scared the hell out of me. It's pathetic."

Zoe put a hand on his back, offering him a small smile. "It's not pathetic," she assured him. "We're all tired. Never mind the fact that you took watch for the entire night. We should set up camp here."

They nodded in agreement, finding refuge beneath a large tree. They were still fairly visible to the area around them, but it was better than nothing. Zoe set to starting a fire with Bokomon, while Tommy and Neemon climbed the tree in search of meat apples. JP sat with his back against the trunk, his hands rubbing his tired eyes. Takuya couldn't blame him; he hadn't slept the night before either. Kouji seated himself besides JP—getting down a little awkwardly with the brace on his leg. Takuya was still in shock that the brace _actually _allowed him to walk somewhat normally. The last time he had seen Kouji, his leg had been worse than ever.

The Digital World was a crazy place.

"How ya feeling?" JP asked Kouji, placing his hand on his shoulder.

"Fine."

But something was clearly bothering Kouji, regardless of how he responded. It wasn't the exhaustion laced in his voice or anything like that. Although he seemed calm on the surface, he had been gripping, scratching, and rubbing at his hands all day—anxiously, it seemed. There was also the slightest look of annoyance in his expression, but Takuya could not tell if it was from the physical pain or from his mind at work; he had been lost in his thoughts for days now.

He looked out into the horizon. It was still gray, but more so than before.

"It's already getting dark," he noted.

Kouji scoffed. "Doesn't matter to me. I can hardly see anything as it is."

Takuya turned back to him. Kouji's eyes looked even more bloodshot than they had before, and his vision seemed to be worsening. When they walked, Zoe always kept her fingers wrapped around the sleeve of his jacket—ready to tug if it came to that. Normally, Kouji would have objected to that sort of treatment, but because he didn't, Takuya knew that things really were going downhill for him.

A sigh came from above them. Tommy jumped down from the tree, giving them a small shrug. "No food here."

"Oh, good," Kouji replied quietly, shutting his eyes. "Just what we needed."

Takuya's stomach growled. When the Digital World and the human world had been separate, they could have gone days without food. Now that they were connected, according to what the others had told him, starvation worked just like it did back home. Eating once a day was doing them no good, and they were all beginning to feel weaker and weaker as the days went on. Bokomon's bag could only carry so much.

"Let's get our minds off of it!" Bokomon insisted, turning from the fire that Zoe had managed to light. "Please, it's been so long since we've seen you all. Tell us about your lives! What has happened since the last time we saw you?"

Neemon leapt down from the tree, smiling as brightly as always. "Before all this, of course!" he explained. "We know what's happening now!"

Bokomon sighed, rolling his eyes. "Well, yes, of course."

JP chuckled, looking at Takuya and Kouji. "Where do we start?" he wondered, his mind drifting back to the past. "Damn, it's been six years. A lot's happened since we were last here. It's kinda unbelievable."

"It's been even longer here!" Neemon reminded them, flopping down beside the fire. "You guys are famous now!"

Takuya raised an eyebrow. "Huh? We're _famous_?"

Bokomon reached for the bag he had been traveling with. He unlatched the top and retrieved a large book from its contents. For a moment, he held it sadly in his hands, and then he closed his eyes and sighed.

"I've been meaning to show you all," he said quietly, "but considering the current circumstances, I couldn't seem to find an appropriate time.

He held it out to Takuya, who took it in his hands. The book itself was thick and well kept, but he could tell that it had existed for more than a couple of years. Then, the title caught his eye.

"_A Battle of Light and Darkness: The Rebirth of the Legendary Warriors_," he read. Kouji perked up beside him, and Takuya lifted his eyes to Bokomon. "You wrote a book about us?"

"Yes, I did," the small white digimon confirmed. "I told you I would. I couldn't let your feats be forgotten… and they weren't."

The others gathered around the book, curious to see its contents. Takuya wasn't sure what to think. For over six years, he and the others had kept their status as Legendary Warriors a complete secret. They had accepted that nobody would ever acknowledge that they had saved two entire words all on their own, and they had never expected that to change. Learning that there was a world where all their efforts were known made Takuya feel both excitement and great nostalgia.

He opened the book, and knowing that Kouji wouldn't be able to read the text, read the first page aloud: "This book is dedicated to the Legendary Warriors themselves: Takuya Kanbara, Warrior of Flame, Kouji Minamoto, Warrior of Light, Kouichi Kimura, Warrior of Darkness, Zoe Orimoto, Warrior of Wind, Tommy Himi, Warrior of Ice, and JP Shibayama, Warrior of Thunder. Thank you for all you've done. We miss you dearly. Love, Bokomon, Neemon, Patamon, and your friends of the Digital World."

Together, they flipped through the book. With every page that turned, tears threatened to leak through. He somehow managed to hold them back, skimming over each and every memory that they had made (he was both surprised and saddened to discover that he had forgotten about a couple of them). The first half of the book consisted of biographies for each of them. Kouji and Kouichi shared an entire section, though it was longer than any of the single pieces. The second half of the book told their entire journey in perfect detail.

He started reading about their first encounter with Bokomon and Neemon, prompting laughter from each and every one of them—even Kouji and Tommy.

"Wow," JP sighed, shaking his head. "Was I really that obnoxious?"

Kouji scoffed. "Why are you speaking in past tense? Nothing's changed."

"Hey!"

Kouji winked at him, chuckling. "Just kidding," he insisted. "_Kind of_."

"Besides, you think _you _were bad," Tommy added, half-shielding his eyes from the book. "I only _cried_ like eighty percent of the time."

Zoe laughed, wrapping her arm over his shoulders. "Give yourself a break, Tommy! You were only… what, nine? You were just a kid. Actually, we all were!"

"Yeah, we were," Takuya responded, nodding his head. "You don't really think about that, though, because we spent all that time living on our own and fending for ourselves."

He continued to turn the pages. Bokomon had written about how each of them had found their spirits, also relaying the good, the funny, and the bad about their time in the Digital World. They read about the friends they had met, the beast spirits, Patamon's hatching, and much, much more. They laughed when they ran across actual documented dialogue from Sagittarimon; Takuya had completely forgotten about how the digimon would confuse the word "possessions" with "obsessions."

"Ha! Oh, here's a good one," he announced, his eyes locking onto a passage. "'In fact, upon seeing Kouji and Kouichi together for the first time, JP remarked, "The resemblance between them is kind of creepy, huh?" to which Tommy responded, "And they look the same!" Both boys were clearly failing to understand the meaning of the phrase "identical twins." Bless their hearts.'"

"BOKOMON!" Tommy and JP hollered in unison.

Kouji and Zoe were laughing so hard that she was struggling for breath and he was doubled over. Takuya grinned, overjoyed that he could mention Kouichi without hurting Kouji. As of that moment, positivity radiated from his friends. It was the happiest that any of them had been in a long time.

He skipped forward a couple pages and came across actual photos. Most of the pictures had been Neemon's drawings, but not these. There was one of all six of them resting in an open field of flowers. Another picture had Zoe crossing her arms, glaring at JP, who looked embarrassed about something. There was one of Tommy on Takuya's shoulders, too. The last one was a photo of Kouji and Kouichi off by themselves, facing away from the rest of the world.

"There's a good one of you and Kouichi in here," Takuya told his friend gently, not quite meeting his eyes.

"Yeah, I see it," Kouji replied quietly, nodding slightly. "I mean… I can't see it very well. But I know it's us."

Zoe sat down beside him, leaning her head onto his shoulder. "I forgot you used to have long hair. You cut it so long ago."

Neemon pointed at Kouji's neck, tilting his head to the side. "Is that the same bandanna you used to have?"

Kouji gave him a small smile, but it was clearly forced. "Yeah," he said. "It's the same one."

Silence fell over them for a moment, all of them stuck somewhere in their memories. After a minute passed, Takuya closed the book and handed it back to Bokomon. "Thank you," he said. "Thank you so much. I appreciate it more than you know. I think we all do."

"Of course we do," JP confirmed, smiling. "You kept our memories safe. We really needed a reminder. We can never thank you enough for that."

It had gotten significantly darker. Takuya looked up to see the stars, but there were none to be seen; he couldn't even find the moon. He sighed gently as the fire crackled at their feet. Darkness filled the sky, leaving them with the light from the flames. He felt tired, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about his parents, his brother, and Yutaka—what they must have been thinking when they stepped through the barrier and were suddenly without him. He shut his eyes, letting his head lie against the bark of the tree. He still did not want to believe that any of this was happening, but there was no way to ignore it.

"We should probably get some rest while we can," JP said suddenly, still looking very tired. "I'd keep watch again if I didn't think I was gonna pass out. Is anyone else up for it?"

"I'll do it," Takuya offered. "I'm wide awake."

JP nodded, sauntering past the fire and settling down for sleep a few meters away from it. Zoe stood too, holding her hand out for Kouji and wordlessly begging him to join her. Takuya watched silently as Kouji took her hand and smiled. "Soon," he said. "I promise I'll come over in a little bit. Okay?"

She hesitated for a moment, shifting her weight from foot to foot. "Okay," she said finally, smiling.

Takuya watched the exchange quietly, his eyes following Zoe as she moved away. He had to admit that he felt a twinge of jealousy and hurt by watching them. He had a feeling that something had happened in his absence. Knowing that there were more important matters at hand, however, he chose to let it go. Just as he did, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He looked to his left to find Tommy kneeled down in front of him. He gave him a small smile, unsure of what to say, but Tommy began talking before he even had time to think of something.

"Hey," Tommy greeted quietly. "Takuya, I'm, uh… I'm sorry."

Those words caught him off-guard, the guilt swimming in his dark brown eyes. "Tommy, no. _I'm _sorry. I shouldn't ha—"

"—No. Please," Tommy insisted, holding a hand up to stop Takuya from speaking. "It was wrong of me to treat you like I have been treating you. I've just had a lot going on in my mind, and I took it out on you. That was wrong of me. I had no right to shun you like that, and when we started going through Bokomon's book, I realized that I couldn't do this anymore. _You _did the right thing, Takuya. Kouji was right," he explained, nodding to their friend. "If I was in your shoes, I would have done the same thing. I don't want to be mad anymore—especially not at you."

Takuya grinned, his heart overjoyed and the guilt melting away. "Thank god," he breathed, pulling Tommy into a hug. Tommy returned the hug strongly, despite looking so thin. "Thank you for talking to me again. I missed you."

"I missed you too."

They hugged for a moment longer before Tommy pulled away. He smiled at Takuya, clearly feeling much better than he had before, and went to join the others in sleep. Takuya felt a certain sense of brotherly pride as he replayed Tommy's words in his head; his "little brother" had grown up so quickly and so maturely. He had come a long way since their first adventure in the Digital World. More than that, he felt so, _so _thankful that he and Tommy were speaking again.

He turned to Kouji, who was watching the fire—determined to make progress with him too.

"You look beat," he said. "You should get some sleep."

"Nah," Kouji responded, "I've got a lot on my mind."

"I get it," Takuya sighed. "Me too."

Kouji remained silent for another moment before speaking up again. "How was your family doing…?" he asked, turning toward him but not quite meeting his eyes. "Are they…?"

"Yeah," Takuya said in a low voice. "They're safe."

Kouji nodded. "Good. I'm glad you know for sure."

Takuya supposed that Kouji was trying to let him off the hook for leaving, but his words only inadvertently made him feel guiltier. His entire family was alive and well—at least as far as he knew since entering the Digital World—but that could not be said for sure about the others' families. Takuya wondered now more than ever what was going through Kouji's mind.

"How are you…?" he started before shaking his head and beginning again. "Um. I mean…. What are…? No, that's not it. I just… I'm _here _if you… you know… wanted to talk about anything."

He looked to Kouji and found his friend looking right back at him. Still, Takuya was unable to read his emotions. Seconds passed. Kouji exhaled and turned front again.

"No," he whispered. "I'm not… I mean, I don't wanna talk about anything. Not yet."

He wondered what was bothering him, but he didn't want to press the issue. Still, Takuya could not help but worry with Kouji digging his nails into his hands. He wished that his friend's laughter hadn't been so short-lived, but he supposed that a little joy was better than nothing; after all, it had been enough to melt the ice separating him from Tommy.

Takuya looked down at the ground, sighing softly, but it was at that moment that he found smoke swimming at their feet.

"Wha—?"

Kouji quickly became aware as well.

"Wait, what is this?"

Takuya jumped up, instantly grabbing Kouji's elbow and pulling him up with him. As soon as they were both on their feet, however, the smoke had already risen above them. He expected to start choking; instead, his breathing grew shallower and his body weakened. Darkness instantly began to close in around his vision, and he knew then that he was starting to black out. He looked at Kouji, who was slackening in his grip. They met each other's eyes and, in perfect unison, said:

"_Uh oh._"

The last thing Takuya remembered after collapsing was the sound of hissing in his ears and the feeling of claws on his skin.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 8 END.<strong>


	10. Dusk

**A/N: **Thank you to last chapter's reviewers! This chapter ended up being pretty loaded! Sorry in advance for it being so heavy.

* * *

><p><strong>Dangerous Memories<br>****Chapter 9: Dusk  
><strong>"Both of you fell the same day  
>You don't know why<br>One of you never woke up  
>And you lay your body down on the floor<br>You're desperate to hear her footsteps again  
>But this house is on fire<br>We need to go."  
>‑ The Fray, <em>Run For Your Life<em>

**TOMMY**

He had been on the outskirts of their campsite when it happened. They—he, Bokomon, and Neemon—had been chatting quietly while the others slept. Tommy had been wide-awake the entire time, his mind preoccupied with thoughts of Yutaka, Takuya, and his family. He felt horribly guilty, even after speaking with Takuya. He had wanted so badly to say something to him all day, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to do so until Bokomon's book came out.

They had been standing just outside the range of the smoke. He had almost lunged forward—preparing himself to spirit evolve—when his common sense kicked in. '_This isn't good. You know it's not. You know going in there alone will be senseless. Wait.' _Instead, he, Bokomon, and Neemon climbed up the tree they had been hiding behind and waited, forcing themselves to watch as vicious, shadow-covered creatures dragged their friends away. The monsters seemed to be witless, because they hadn't even noticed that he had been missing.

They waited until they were out-of-sight, still making sure that they knew which direction the creatures had left in. Tommy had known better than to follow too soon, because there were very few trees to shield him. More importantly, as the monsters captured the others, he heard the word "Abraxasmon" being whispered.

He looked to Bokomon and Neemon, who reassured him with a nod, and then they started on their journey.

* * *

><p><strong>KOUJI<strong>

He snapped awake when he suddenly took a metal bar to the left side of his face. He instantly cried out in agony, his head snapping to the right, and quickly discovered that his wrists and ankles were bound up against a wall.

"Wake up!" a voice hissed. "Light! Light!"

Kouji opened one eye, but the other eye was beginning to swell shut. All he could see was blurs of color and black, jagged figures that seemed to be moving; one of those figures was holding what appeared to be a crowbar. His head was pounding. Even the slightest movement of his eye felt like a nail was being driven through his left temple. He didn't know where he was, he didn't know how he had gotten there, and he had no idea who his attackers were. A quick, painful glance to the right showed him that the others seemed to be lined up on the wall beside him. Gray skies and dark clouds glared down at them.

He had never felt more inhuman in his entire life.

He tried to speak, but it seemed that his vocal chords had shut down on him. Instead, he focused on his breathing and tried to stay awake. Just as he was attempting to do so, however, something excruciatingly white-hot slammed into the right side of his abdomen. His voice came back to him and he screamed at the top of his lungs, his skin burning as he doubled over against his bindings. The pain was unbearable, and he knew that if he stayed latched to these chains, it would never stop.

_Lobomon!_

_We're… too weak. I'm sorry._

"_Agh_!" he cried out as the weapon was drawn away from him. "_Ugh…._"

"Die!" demanded another eerie voice.

Kouji shut his eyes tightly, biting his lip and fighting back the blistering pain in his stomach. He heard the others scream in agony. Takuya's, Zoe's, and JP's voices were all very clear to him, but he didn't hear Tommy. Where was Tommy?

Below him, the monsters hissed and growled—prodding at the brace on his bad leg with a stick. They started trying to figure out how to take it off, and without knowing what else to do, Kouji fell into a semi-conscious state. Their malicious whispers and threats seemed to fade away—as well as the screams of his friends, for which Kouji felt extremely thankful. Everything hurt; even the slightest movement caused his body to ache. He didn't know what to do. If they failed to get away, he knew that they would all be killed.

They were helpless.

His eyes fluttered open a few minutes later, and for a while, he wondered how he could still possibly be alive. He squinted his eyes, searching for any sign of life before him, but the virusmon seemed to be gone. He sighed, relieved, but also mildly confused about why they had chosen to spare them.

"Hey."

Kouji turned his head to the right to face Zoe. Her voice was broken, and she was clearly exhausted, but the smile on her face could still be seen.

"Hey," he greeted softly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am."

They both reached out as far as they could until their fingers found each other and laced together.

"Light! Wind! Kill!"

Suddenly, Kouji and Zoe both received a face-full of gas. As soon as Kouji inhaled, the gas filled his lungs and sent him into a horrid coughing fit. He coughed violently for the next minute, gasping for oxygen and trying to fight off the creeping darkness that was quickly surrounding his vision. He shut his eyes, silently begging for mercy as he grew more and more lightheaded. Finally, the coughing ceased somewhat, but Kouji felt so exhausted that he had no energy left to be relieved.

He opened his eyes, but that proved to be a mistake. Had he been standing on his own two feet, he would have been sent spiraling down to the dirt; everything was spinning. He shut his eyes again, slackening against his bindings; his limbs had given out on him. Even with his eyes shut, it seemed as though he had been stricken with an awful spell of vertigo. The feeling was so intense that he didn't understand how anything remained upright. If there had been anything in his stomach, the horrific nausea would have ridden of it by then.

And then, for no apparent reason, it disappeared.

He tried to focus on what was happening. He fought to think of a plan, but suddenly, he couldn't even remember what he was making a plan for. Where… was he?

* * *

><p><em>He creaked an eye open when he felt something jump onto the bed. Quickly after seeing that his master was awake, Wolf leapt on top of him—panting and smothering him with kisses. Groaning, but smiling, Kouji pushed the husky off of him and sat up to stretch. As soon as he started to come back into it, however, a pillow hit him directly in the side of the face. He drew in a sharp breath, recovering quickly before turning to glare at his determined attacker. <em>

"_It's about time you woke up from that nap! Now get over here and help me with this homework!"_

_Kouji paused for a moment. He didn't quite remember falling asleep or how he had gotten to his bedroom, but the haze from his dreams quickly began to fade away. A playful smile crossed his features, and he threw the pillow back in the direction it initially came from._

"_Kouichi, you could not be more impatient," he declared, standing from his bed and moving over to his brother's. Wolf followed, determined to stay by Kouji's side. "What are you even working on?"_

_Kouichi sighed, hands grabbing at his hair. "__**Math**__."_

"_Ugh! Are you kidding me?" Kouji retorted, sitting beside his twin and petting back Wolf's pelt. "Why are you asking __**me **__for math help? I'm just as bad at it as you are!" _

_Shrugging his shoulders, Kouichi explained, "I __**know**_**, **_but I figured that between the two of us, we might be able to pull off some freaky twin magic and get this figured out together!" He looked up at Kouji, and after a couple of seconds, he smiled. "We __**are **__both pretty awful at math though. Should we call JP? He always helped us out."_

"_How about asking your old man for help instead?"_

_The twins looked up, finding their father standing in the doorframe. Kouji made a face. "No offense, Dad, but the last time you helped us with homework, we didn't exactly get the best grades. You weren't extremely helpful." _

_Kousei laughed. "Well, I'd argue that, but judging by the disgruntled look that I'm getting from __**both **__of you right now, I guess I can't say much!"_

_The twins looked at each other, stifling laughter before turning forward again._

"_Oh! And don't forget," Kousei started. "Big family dinner tonight in the park: the three of us, Satomi, and your mom. You can invite your friends if you want—as long as Takuya promises not to let a soccer ball crash onto the table this time." _

_Wolf barked loudly._

"_Wolf is coming too, of course," their father added, chuckling._

_Kouichi rolled his eyes. "Of __**course**__. I __**really **__wouldn't be hurt if you decided to leave him at home, Dad." _

_Kouji scowled at his brother, and the elder twin smirked. Suddenly, Satomi's familiar voice rang through the hallway and into their room._

"_Zoe's here!"_

_Their father smiled at them before stepping out of the room. Sure enough, mere seconds later, Zoe peaked her head in. "Hey!" she greeted. "Did either of you finish the homework for—"_

"—_Yeah, right!" Kouji and Kouichi interrupted in unison. _

_Zoe snickered, "Didn't think so! But it was worth a shot!" _

_She sauntered over to them. Kouji held his hand out for her, and she took it without a second thought—sitting down directly beside him and leaning her head on his shoulder. Kouichi, officially giving up, closed his textbook and got up to put it back in his backpack. Kouji shook his head, knowing damn well that it would only be a few minutes before his brother tackled the assignment again. _

"_I'll text the guys about the picnic," Kouichi offered, pulling out his cellphone. _

_Kouji nodded, turning to Zoe. "You're coming with us, right?"_

"_Sure am!" she exclaimed, grinning playfully and throwing her legs over his. "I mean… if you still __**want **__me to go."_

_He groaned, rolling his eyes. "Don't. Even. Start."_

_She giggled, taking his face in her hands. "Oh, I'm just messing with you!" she reminded him, but Kouji already knew. She leaned in to kiss him, and he kissed her back. She leant onto his shoulder again, and he let the side of his head fall against hers. _

_Kouichi turned back to them and, upon seeing the two, smiled cheerfully at him. "I just told Takuya that if he kicks his soccer ball on the table again," he said, stepping towards his brother, "you're gonna unleash Wolf on him." _

_Kouji beamed back at him. "He probably thinks you're joking, but I will!" _

_They laughed. The twins went to high-five each other, but then something unexpected happened._

_Kouji's hand went straight through Kouichi's. He froze, unquestionably startled, and glanced down at his hand; it was vanishing. He looked up at Kouichi, but his brother looked just as confused and frightened as he did—his own hand disappearing. He turned to his right; Zoe was gone. In fact, it was as though the entire environment had collapsed around them. He and his brother were surrounded by nothing except blindingly bright white walls. _

_When he looked at Kouichi again, his vision seemed to crash on him. As a result, he was left staring at his twin's blurred form. Kouji reached out for him, but for some reason, he didn't even come close to making contact. Very faintly, he could hear Kouichi's voice whispering his name; they seemed to get further and further apart. _

"_Kouji. It's not real. You've been drugged."_

_He recognized Lobomon's voice almost instantly—mostly because it was so similar to his own. He whirled around, looking for the spirit, but there was nobody there._

"_What?" _he said. "_What do you mean—?"_

"_If this were real, you wouldn't have been seeing so clearly. Your __**eyes**__, Kouji, remember?"_

"_My…?"_

_Suddenly, reality came crashing into him. He remembered lightning exploding like firecrackers into his eyes, and yet, his vision had just been __**perfect**__. _

"_Wolf died. Kouichi died. You're at war, you're in the Digital World, and you're hallucinating."_

_Everything went dark. He remembered breathing in the gas._

"_No!" he hollered, pleading with Lobomon—his voice straining. "No, you're lying!"_

_He didn't want to go back. He couldn't stand to lose everything all over again. Kouji shut his eyes tightly, desperately hoping and praying that none of this was real and he would wake up from a terrible nightmare. But he didn't. His family wasn't there, he wasn't home, and no matter how hard he wished it away, he was still in the midst of capture and torture in the Digital World. _

"_Kouji," Lobomon called out, but then, strangely, his voice changed. Someone else was trying to reach him._

"Kouji!"

* * *

><p>His head snapped up, the hallucinations vanishing entirely. He panted heavily, drenched in a cold sweat and visibly shell-shocked.<p>

Someone touched his cheek. He thought, perhaps, that they had been rescued, but he quickly realized that his wrists and ankles were still tied to the wall. Kouji groaned softly, trying to shake off the weariness; it didn't help that bruises, scrapes, and burns currently coated his body. His heavily damaged vision attempted to focus somewhat, but Kouji was left squinting hard at the figure in front of him.

_Tommy._

He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Are you hurt?"

Kouji readjusted himself in the bindings and shook his head. "Not too badly…" he murmured. "You have to be careful, Tommy. They could be back at any moment."

Tommy worked quietly and diligently. As he attempted to untie the knot around his right ankle, Kouji turned his head towards the others. Zoe was just beginning to come to, and even with his blurry eyes, he could still see that the reassuring smile she usually gave him was gone. Tommy cut through the last three knots quickly, and as Kouji dropped to the ground, he suddenly became very aware of the burn on his abdomen. He fell to his knees, silently clutching at his side as Tommy ran to the others.

This wasn't good. He figured it would be a while before he could evolve again, and there was no way that Tommy would have been able to fight them all off himself. More than that, Kouji was still having a difficult time pulling his mind out of the hallucination.

"Oh, you have no idea how frightened we were!" Bokomon exclaimed, appearing by Kouji's side. "Thank heavens that you're all safe. We need to get out of here!"

Kouji nodded. "Yeah."

"Man," Takuya sighed from behind them. "_Ugh_. I think my nose is broken. Is everyone okay?"

Kouji turned to face the brunette; he didn't even have to squint to see the cringe-worthy amounts of blood on his face. He stood unsteadily, his legs threatening to give out on him if he moved hastily.

"I think I have a pretty bad burn on my side," he admitted quietly, pulling back his jacket and lifting up his shirt slightly. The others gasped, but even though Kouji could feel the pain and see the mix of swollen purple and red on his side, he shrugged it off. "I'd be more worried about it if it wasn't for the crowbar I took to the face a while ago."

"Yeah, you have a pretty awful black eye," Tommy noted. "Everyone else all right?"

"Nothing serious," JP responded, rubbing his arm.

"Same here," added Zoe, her voice soft. "Let's go."

Kouji nodded, starting to turn on his heel. Before he had turned all the way around, however, Takuya's voice sounded urgently from beside him:

"LOOK OUT!"

Takuya threw one arm the back of Kouji's neck and one around Zoe's, throwing all three of them to the ground. Kouji did not even have time to process what was happening—everything from reality to his dreams to the present had blurred together—but as soon as he heard the sound of rapid bullet fire, he covered his head and stayed down. Ten seconds later, the battlefield grew silent. Kouji glanced up, his eyes instantly stinging as the dust clouded up around them. He coughed into his arm, trying to focus on their attacker. A tall, slender figure appeared before him, its appearance marred by shadows. The only true feature Kouji could make out was its glowing, blood red eyes. In its hands, it held two small guns.

Takuya glanced up too. "What the fu—?"

"—NO! NO, NO, NO_!_"

Kouji's heart stopped. He turned around slowly, JP's voice cutting into him like a knife. And lying there in his arms, punctured by countless bullet holes and convulsing in a puddle of his own blood, was Tommy.

Instantly and unexpectedly, the images started flashing and the emotions came rushing back to Kouji.

_Kouichi—reaching for his hand—the flash of horror in his brother's eyes. _

He took another step.

_Lightning—the stench of blood in his nostrils—the overwhelming pain._

He collapsed.

_Awareness—lifeless eyes—the burial. _

He fell onto his hands, quickly losing touch with reality. The torture would never end. He would never stop remembering that day.

"Kouichi."

_His brother—all the blood—that endless, horrified stare._

It was happening all over again.

'_If something happens, just remember that I'll never forgive myself.'_

He had said that. He had meant that. And now…

Kouji forced himself back onto his feet, fighting to stay in the present. He dragged his feet towards Tommy, who was fighting for life. Tommy—who had escaped capture and come to their rescue—who had tricked death into sparing his life—who Kouji had been arguing with since they had returned to the Digital World. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. It couldn't be happening.

He fell to his knees in front of Tommy, taking one of his shaking hands in his own. The younger chosen child gasped in pain, shutting his eyes tightly and wheezing. Takuya, across from Kouji, fought back tears and stuttered while trying to find the right words. Tommy, with his head in JP's lap, did not seem to understand everything that was happening; his entire torso and each of his legs were coated in thick, rose red blood. He opened his mouth to speak, and the blood came pouring out over his jaw too. Bokomon took a towel from his bag and, together with Neemon, used it to apply pressure to Tommy's wounds… but there were too many… and it just wouldn't stop.

Suddenly, there was a familiar voice inside of Kouji's head, whispering, "_kill, kill, kill_."

It wasn't Lobomon.

There was blood everywhere, but it was Tommy's agonized groans and cries that hurt Kouji the most. He held his friend's hand a little tighter, wanting him to know that he was there for him and everything would be okay. He wanted _Tommy _to know that, but Kouji knew that it wouldn't be; the Warrior of Ice's body was completely punctured with several deep wounds. His fingers were twitching and his body was convulsing, but Tommy's pale green eyes never left Kouji. He couldn't even see his younger friend's eyes properly, but he knew—without a doubt—that they were filled with pain, shock, and horror.

Kouji looked down at his arms, and they were already covered in Tommy's blood; he was kneeled in it. He felt sick, but above all, he felt enraged. His hands shook violently, he gritted his teeth, and he could feel the heat rushing to his face. Tommy, who had wanted more than anything just to return to Yutaka and their parents, would never get the chance to. He would never get the chance to see the war end or peace return to their lives. If Kouichi's premature death had been unfair, then Tommy dying at fifteen was even worse. Kouji had to wonder if his brother ever knew that he was dying the way that Tommy did now.

Anxiety shook him. How could anyone do this?

"K-Kouji…" Tommy murmured weakly, trying to tighten his grip. "P-please calm down. I-it's okay…."

"It's _okay_?" he snapped, glaring hard at the younger male. His voice cracked as he pointed out to the blood-soaked battlefield, where Zoe—who had somehow found the strength to transform into Kazemon—was standing protectively between them and their attacker. "How is _any _of this _okay_?"

JP put a hand on Kouji's shoulder.

"Hey—"

"—Don't!" Kouji growled, his voice lowering significantly as he faced JP. "Just _back off_, goddammit!"

JP froze in place, his jaw dropping slightly. A quick moment later, he leaned away from him and cocked his head to the side.

"Your eyes are… blood red."

The instability that Kouji had been fighting back since their return to the digital world returned tenfold. The maddening anxiety wracked his entire self—so much so that he wasn't sure if he would black out or be sick. He hardly made sense of JP's words; all he knew for sure was that he was candidly and unbearably enraged beyond all help.

He looked past Kazemon and found the rugged black form that was responsible for all of this. He would _murder _him.

That was when Kouji noticed that somebody else had come to stand beside the monster. Kazemon quickly backed away, and Kouji could sense the fear coming from her. Who was…?

"You just couldn't resist yourself, could you, Beelzemon?" the other monster laughed, his voice deep and forceful. "Well, no matter. This just means we have one less pest to worry about."

Kouji stood and moved closer to their enemies. He stopped just behind Kazemon, narrowing his eyes at the two figures. The first one—Beelzemon—he had seen before. The second monster stood three times as big as the first, looming over the Warriors of Wind and Light. It had dark, jagged features, and the same blood red eyes that Beelzemon had. Large black and angular wings sprouted out from its back, and it had long, muscular arms with what appeared to be claws at the end of his fingers. Gray horns protruded from the sides of his head, and even Kouji could see the wide, wicked grin on his face. Two thick golden rings covered his neck, and a collared, dark red cloak concealed his body. The mere sight of him sent a shiver down Kouji's spine.

He knew who it was.

"Abraxasmon."

Kazemon turned to him. "What? This is—?" she stopped. "Kouji, your—"

"—Ah, look who it is!" Abraxasman exclaimed, turning from a defensively positioned Kazemon and extending on arm towards Kouji. "You must be the Light twin," he chuckled. "Don't let your brother's death confuse you any, little pup. You were supposed to die that day too!"

"_What_?" Kazemon shrieked in horror.

"You heard me, girl!" he said with a smirk before turning back to Kouji. "You and the other twin are Light and Darkness. _You_ are just as powerful and necessary to this pathetic little world as your sibling was. To rebuild it, I had to destroy _both _of you. Pure Light and Darkness must work together to maintain balance, after all, and I knew that destroying just one of you wouldn't do the trick. Damaged as they may be, I can see darkness in your eyes."

Kouji's fingers curled into fists. If he had darkness inside, _that _explained the uneasiness that had been suffocating him; it was the presence that he and Lobomon had sensed upon their reunion… but it wasn't Lowemon, and he knew that without a doubt. He had been unified with Lowemon before, after all.

Abraxasmon crossed his arms, looking down on them. "Fortunately for me, you are pure Light and your brother is pure Darkness, and while this makes for more powerful elements than a creature like Lucemon simply obtaining bits of both, it also means that you are not meant to control or contain the dark. I can sense your instability. Your brother's element is killing you slowly—bit by bit—and I can just stand by and watch it happen. Yang cannot exist with Yin, don't you know that?"

Kazemon gripped onto Kouji's arm. "Don't listen to him! He's ly—"

"—No he's not!" he hollered, ripping his arm away from her but not meeting her eyes. "It's the truth, Zoe!"

It was just another occasion when Kouji's sixth sense kicked in. It reminded him of their first experience in the digital world, when he had met his brother. Takuya had absolutely insisted that Duskmon had just been messing with him, but Kouji had angrily demanded, _'He's my brother! I know it's true. I knew it the first time I met him.' _Just as he had known that he and Kouichi were twins, he knew that Abraxasmon spoke the truth when talking about their elements; he could feel it.

But it wouldn't stop Kouji from killing him. This was the creature responsible for all of their pain and suffering.

"Kouji…" Kazemon said softly. "You're scaring me."

Startled by those words, Kouji widened his eyes and turned to her.

"Ha-ha-ha!" Abraxasmon boomed, his laughter echoing over the plains. "Do you see now? You're already losing yourself in that darkness. Perhaps if you had been able to obtain a little control, you could have saved that friend of yours. But you didn't. And now he's about to be no better off than your pathetic _brother._"

_LOBOMON!_

_Yes!_

He had never forgotten what it felt like to spirit evolve, and as his fractal code cloaked his body, he breathed a sigh of relief at the feeling and the security that came along with it. He emerged from the code taller, stronger, and more confident, and when he opened his auburn eyes, his vision cleared.

He turned frontward, prepared to destroy the creatures that had caused them so much anguish.

But then, without warning, his entire body fell victim to implausible amounts of pain. He howled in agony, falling to his hands and knees. It wouldn't stop. It was so terrible that he could hardly hear Kazemon as she cried out for him. It was as if all of his bones were being crushed. He shut his eyes tightly, praying that—just for a moment—he could separate his spirit from his body; he couldn't stand it anymore. What was this?

'_**Stop**__,' _he begged himself. _'This can't happen now.'_

He couldn't catch his breath. The creeping darkness that had been lingering inside of him seemed to be quickly taking over. With the pain, his anger and need for vengeance were quickly approaching their peaks, and the very moment before they did, Kouji became fully aware of the other spirit that he had been hosting.

'_I will __**never **__stop.'_

Before he could even fathom preventing it, a black light shot out from his body and began to cover the world; strange shadows tainted it, quickly overpowering the weakening light and casting darkness over all of them. He heard their screams. He felt his fractal code break out and completely surround him again. The dark faded away, and though his vision remained clear, a screen of blood red blocked it. Memories, morals, and any sense of self faded away from him, and before he knew it, nothing remained but hatred and an unquenchable thirst to _destroy_.

"_Duskmon_," Abraxasmon murmured, narrowing his eyes angrily. "I didn't expect to see you."

He ignored him. Instead, he teleported forward, the sword that extended from his left arm stabbing Beelzemon through the chest. The virus-type screeched in horror, reeling back in agony as Duskmon lifted him off the ground. He projected two beams from the eyes on his shoulders, subsequently shooting the suffering digimon off of his sword. With one final yowl of pain, Beelzemon disintegrated. His particles, however, returned to Abraxasmon's hand. His enemy's palms, he realized, were twitching like static.

His blood-red eyes pierced those of Abraxasmon, and he raised his sword again. "You will die," he stated. "Now."

Wordlessly, he focused each of his eyes on the creature and aimed its energy beams at him. The red lasers shot out, but Abraxasmon vanished behind a screen of static, and the beams were left blackening the ground. Duskmon's senses kicked in, and he turned just in time to see Abraxasmon appear several feet behind him.

"I'd love to play, Duskmon," he taunted, though not happily, "but I'm afraid will have to postpone this meeting for another time. Until then."

Again, the creature vanished in a field of static electricity. Duskmon narrowed his eyes, his thirst for death not quite quenched, and turned around. Kazemon stood there, jaw slacked and body frozen in fear. Hatred gripped him. He would destroy her. He would destroy _everyone_.

He started towards her.

"No!"

Suddenly, Agunimon appeared on his left and clashed with him. Fully prepared, Duskmon pushed him away. He watched as the Warrior of Flame locked eyes with him, slowly recognizing the familiar face. The horror crept across his features, his eyes widening and his jaw dropping slightly. Agunimon took another step back, shaking his head and turning to get answers from Kazemon. She was unable to tell him what was happening, however, as she was fairly uncertain herself. He turned back, eyes narrowed.

"K… Kouichi?"

Newfound rage filled Duskmon at the sound of that name, and he rushed at Agunimon—sword at the ready. "Be _quiet_!" he roared, slicing sporadically at the other warrior. "Don't call me that! Don't _ever _call me that!"

"Takuya… it's Kouji!" Kazemon cried out. "Don't hurt him!"

_Kouji._

The name resonated with him. He stopped moving and tried to make sense of it, but nothing was standing out.

_Kouji. Kouichi. _Who were they? Where had all this horrific and absolutely senseless rage come from? What was he doing here and who were the people standing before him? He knew their names, but he could not remember his relationship to them. All he knew was that he felt an unbearable urge to _destroy, _and they were in his way.

'_These are your friends.'_

He fell to his knees, gripping at his head as the voice whispered to him in the back of his mind. Friends? He tried to focus on their faces again, but everything was beginning to blur. He could not remember having _friends._

'_They're trying to help you. They'll make this pain go away. Just trust them. It'll be okay.'_

Duskmon threw his hands down to stop himself from collapsing. Memories began flooding back to him in bits and pieces. He saw trains, elevators, and a steep set of stairs. He saw a blonde girl and three boys sitting close together and laughing joyfully. He saw a pair of identical twins—distinguished from one another by nothing more than the clothes they wore—falling asleep as the movie they were watching with their friends drew to its conclusion. Their fingers were thoughtlessly laced together. A second later, only one hand remained—three deep scars left on the palm.

Loneliness. Despair. Suddenly, he could not recall ever feeling so small and fragile. He had no idea who he was, and yet he knew he had never felt so much anguish before. It felt as though something was relentlessly stabbing his heart; he thought his chest was being crushed. There was a torturous fear that he had lost everything and everyone he had ever loved—if that was the word. He could not remember ever feeling love either…

But he hated it. He wanted it to go away.

'_You are Kouji. You are Light, not Darkness. Breathe. Let it all come back to you.'_

"SHUT _UP!_"

He snapped upwards, gripping at his temples, and let out an agonized scream as the light pierced through his armor.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 9 END.<strong>


	11. Sirens

A/N: I really could not have left you all with a worse cliffhanger, huh?

I appreciate the reviews this far so much. They keep me motivated, so thank you.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Dangerous Memories<br>****Chapter 10: Sirens  
><strong>"I am tired  
>I'm growing older<br>I'm getting weaker every day  
>I carry the weight of you<br>I carry the weight of you.  
>Lay down here<br>Beside me in the shallow water  
>Beside me where the sun is shining on us still."<br>Cher Lloyd, Sirens

**KOUJI**

"_Why are you here?"_

_Duskmon narrowed his eyes. "The day your pathetic twin—"_

"—_Kouichi." _

_The corrupted spirit paused, looking mildly annoyed. "If you think that I care to even use his name, you're sorely mistaken, Warrior of Light."_

_Kouji gritted his teeth together, fists clenching. Seconds later, Duskmon continued, "The day your brother died, Lowemon sensed it. He felt it, and his spirit was weakened by it. Naturally, I seized the opportunity and took control once again. I knew you fools would return to the Digital World, and I knew that Lobomon and I are at least somewhat compatible. I remember the psychological damage I did to your brother, and I didn't hesitate to possess your soul as well." _

"_But it doesn't make sense," Kouji argued, shaking his head. "My light should have purified you." _

_Duskmon laughed—a mocking, holier-than-thou sort of chuckle. "That light of yours has dimmed significantly since the last time you were here," he explained. "As long as there is the slightest bit of darkness inside of you, I will always have control. I will never leave. You may be able to resist me better than your brother, but I can still make you do things that you cannot even fathom. I'll corrode your mind. I'll darken every thought until the anxiety is maddening. And when I finally drive you mad, I'll make you kill your own friends. I only exist to destroy, Warrior of Light, and it just so happens that I have a personal vendetta against you. It's no use. You were the only one who could have brought back Lowemon, but you've fallen so far that it's impossible. I've been part of your spirit long enough to prevent you from purifying anything ever again." _

_Kouji coupled his hands together, fighting to remain calm as a sneer appeared on his face. "You don't scare me."_

"_Oh, but I will," Duskmon replied, blood red eyes piercing Kouji. "Time will pass, and I'll leave you crumpled up on the ground and shaking with fear. For as long as you're here, you will try to do good, and as long as I'm possessing your spirit, you will only do bad. Before your time is over in this world, your so-called friends will turn against you. You know better than to doubt my abilities." _

"_And you should know better than to doubt mine," Kouji hissed. "Remember who put you in your place the first time around." _

_Another chuckle came from the corrupted spirit. Kouji hated the sound of it. _

"_Bold words coming from you—especially considering how you are currently possessed by the same spirit you claim to have destroyed," Duskmon evaluated. "You thought you won all those years ago, when really you just delayed your loss. I win. And now you're going to fall back down into the grave you've dug for yourself. It's not hard to destroy someone who's already destroying himself." _

"_Fuck you," he growled. "You don't know anything about me." _

"_I know _everything _about you, Minamoto," the digimon announced, standing and towering over his host. "Your time is up. I'll be taking over now."_

_Before Duskmon could do as he pleased, however, Kouji felt the warmth of light radiate around him. It filled his eyes, brightening them, and restored his strength. Behind him, he could feel Lobomon's presence, and when he spoke again, he spoke with him._

"_Not if I have anything to say about it." _

And that was when he came back to reality, only to lose his composure and realize that he was absolutely out of control. He was kneeled over, hands gripping his hair as the spirits battled within him. He tried to breathe—to retain the calm disposition that he had just experienced when directly faced with Duskmon—but any sense of composure had vanished. Shields of light concealed his eyes, and with Lobomon and Duskmon both battling for dominance, the anxiety was crippling him. He couldn't control them.

'_Stop fighting it,' _Duskmon's voice insisted in the back of his mind. _'You are only causing yourself more pain. Give yourself over to me, and you will never have to live in agony again.'_

He started hyperventilating. He couldn't live like this—he _wouldn't_. If he just gave in—

'_No. You don't belong here, Duskmon,' _Lobomon's voice retaliated. _'Sooner or later, we'll find a way to purify you. You'd be smart to stop now and leave Lowemon forever.'_

'_Lowemon is gone. And soon, you will be too. 'I already told you, Minamoto," Duskmon replied calmly. "When the other warriors realize how much of a lost cause you are, they'll turn against you. They'll reject you. And just like before, you will be all alone. So there's no point in slowly suffering through this process by trying to fight me. You will lose. It's over.'_

'_It __**isn't**__!' Lobomon argued._

'_It is.'_

It was.

Without warning, somebody touched his shoulder.

"Kouji—"

"—_Don't!_"

Takuya jumped back, startled as he swung at him. Kouji could not stop it; the voice that left his mouth was not his own_. _Duskmon was taking control of both his body and vocal chords. His eyes were shaded over with a blood red haze, and Kouji knew that the corrupted spirit was taking over again.

He turned from them and bowed his head, fingers gripping at his thick ebony hair. His trembling worsened, and the horror began to kick in. Kouji groaned, shaking his head, and fixed his position so that his upper arms were supporting him. It didn't matter what he tried or how he fought, because Duskmon had his entire being entangled around Kouji's spirit.

"I can't…" Kouji muttered. "I can't do this anymore."

When he spoke, Duskmon's voice mixed in with his. He tried to separate himself from him—the same way he would with Lobomon—but it seemed to be impossible. A horrific sense of despair took hold of him. He didn't want to fight anymore. Even if he managed to push away Duskmon, he would be back again.

"Yes you can, Kouji. You know you can," Takuya's faint voice argued, clearly desperate to break him out of hell.

'_Listen to him, Kouji!' _

Suddenly, light and darkness emitted from his body—the same way it had years ago in their battle against Lucemon. Kouji cried out, attempting to cope with the tremendous power overwhelming him. He shut his eyes tightly, breathing heavily as Lobomon fought back.

"Get _out…_" he suddenly demanded in Lobomon's voice. Shortly after, completely beyond Kouji's control, Duskmon's voice and blood-red eyes returned. "_Never._"

Just when he was about to give in—to admit that this internal battle was futile—Takuya kneeled down before him. He didn't even have the chance to worry that Duskmon would attempt to hurt him, because in one impulsive act of both courage and friendship, Takuya wrapped his arms tightly around Kouji's small frame—not restraining him, but actually hugging him. Immediately, their contact was _burning_. Both Kouji and Duskmon cried out in agony. He struggled at first, weakly fighting to get out of Takuya's hold with Duskmon hissing, "_No. Stop!_"

He didn't stop.

"It's okay, Kouji. It's okay. You're safe now. You're with me," Takuya explained softly, gripping onto Kouji's jacket. "I'm your best friend, remember? I mean… I know I haven't been the greatest friend lately. In fact, I've been pretty distant, and I left you on your own when you were in pain."

Takuya's voice broke, and he started shaking. Soon, the burning stopped, and all Kouji could feel was warmth. Duskmon reluctantly unleashed his grip on him—still within him, but failing to control his life. Kouji immediately let out a relieved sigh, no longer dealing with unbearable amounts of anxiety. He had never been so thankful to have Takuya by his side.

"I am _so _sorry, Kouji," the brunette apologized. "I'm here now. Everything's gonna be okay because I'm not leaving your side. Please forgive me. I've got you. Let me help you, okay?"

Light suddenly seemed to surround the both of them. Takuya pulled back, and Duskmon's blood red eyes vanished behind impenetrable shields of pure light.

'_You're safe, Kouji. It's okay,' _Lobomon confirmed.

Seconds later, the light faded, and Kouji finally felt at peace. He glanced up, his blurry vision finding Takuya, who was still holding him steady. Kouji's breathing was rough and ragged and one eye was almost swollen shut, but at least he was himself.

"I'm here," Takuya repeated sincerely. "I'm not going anywhere."

Kouji managed to give him a small smile. "Neither is Duskmon," he groaned, pulling his hand to his heart. "He's still here. I can feel him."

"We'll get rid of him, I promise," Takuya insisted, candidly determined. "Together."

The moment between them was short-lived, however, because Zoe and JP's cries suddenly pierced the air. They turned towards them, quickly discovering that Tommy's condition had taken a turn for the worse.

A dark voice whispered in the back of Kouji's mind: '_You should have known better than to think you'd get out of this situation unharmed, Minamoto.' _

Takuya pulled Kouji to his feet before sprinting towards the others. Kouji followed more slowly, his heart sinking to the very pit of his stomach. All of this was happening too fast, and he couldn't keep up with it. He was still incredibly shaken by what had just happened, but he had to brush it off for Tommy's sake. He just wasn't prepared to say goodbye—not again.

"Let me take him," Takuya ordered JP, his voice wavering. "Please just let me hold him."

JP did as he was asked without protest. As careful as they were with the exchange, it just wasn't possible to move Tommy without hurting him in his current state. He cried out weakly before going limp in Takuya's arms.

"He's in so much pain…" JP sobbed, coming to stand beside Zoe. "I didn't think I'd ever see someone in more pain than—"

He didn't finish that sentence, but Kouji knew he was referring to him.

"How ya doing, little buddy?" Takuya whispered, holding Tommy carefully in his lap. He brushed through their younger friend's hair, probably knowing full well that it was the only way he could touch him without harming him further.

"Takuya…" Tommy replied quietly, his voice muffled by the blood in his mouth. "I'm so glad you're here."

Takuya attempted to suppress a cry, but the sound he made only clarified his pain.

"Yeah…?" he asked.

"You're… basically… my brother, you… you know…?" Tommy muttered back hoarsely. "I… 'm s-so sorry if I h—hurt you. "

"No, you didn't, you didn't," Takuya reassured him, his breaths shortening with every word. "God, Tommy, you're so important to me. You don't understand."

"D-don't cry, Takuya…."

As he knelt down across from Takuya, Kouji felt so utterly hopeless in that moment. Even when death didn't strike as quickly as lightning, he _still _couldn't do anything to stop it. This war had already taken the most important person in his life from him, and now it was attempting to take the friend Kouji had saved instead. Two. In less than a month, two of his very best friends were being ripped away, and there was nothing he could do but watch. Maybe it wasn't two; it could have easily been five, and he had no way of knowing that for sure.

It wasn't fair. He wanted to scream, and he wanted to bash somebody's face into the ground. He wanted to lie down, admit defeat, and leave the world behind. Why, in the end, had he failed to save both his friend _and_ his brother? Why was _he _still alive? Why couldn't he take Tommy's place? After everything fate had put him through, _why was it making him live through more torture_?

Then, Tommy found him. Kouji could not see his friend properly, but he felt those pale green eyes on him. He could sense the confusion surrounding his friend, and he knew the world around him was blurring. He didn't know what to say, but he didn't have to say anything.

"Kou…ichi…?"

He felt everyone's eyes turn to him. Zoe burst into tears. JP, Bokomon, and Neemon gasped sharply. On the outside, Kouji hardly reacted. On the inside, it stung quite a bit, but even though Tommy was mistaking him for Kouichi, Kouji knew that the thought of Kouichi being there was bringing him comfort—showing him that, after life, he would be with a friend; he couldn't take that away from him.

"Yeah," he said numbly, lowering his voice somewhat to match his brother's. "It's me. Don't worry, Tommy. It's gonna be okay. Don't be scared."

Takuya readjusted Tommy in his arms, and their eyes found each other again. For a while, things were quiet—all except for rugged, pained breathing and a few quiet sobs. Then, a small, weak voice spoke up.

"Takuya, it doesn't hurt anymore."

Kouji saw Takuya tense, completely losing all control over his emotions.

"No?"

"No…" Tommy breathed, quickly fading out. "I'm… sorry…. I think… I think I'm…."

Takuya, with tears dripping down his face, put a gentle hand on Tommy's cheek—refocusing the younger boy's attention on him. "Hey," he said softly, his voice shaking. "Just let go. It's okay. I love you, Tommy."

He said it so simply—as though Tommy was just going to sleep for a couple of hours. Kouji felt Tommy's tears drip onto his hand, but within seconds, they stopped flowing. Kouji reached to put his hands on his friend's chest.

"Ta… ku… ya…."

It should have been Tommy's last word—his last breath. They were all waiting for life to pass him by and the pain to come bulldozing into them once again. But at the very moment Kouji put his palms on Tommy's chest, wordlessly begging every higher power to take him instead, fate turned the tables once again.

His hands were glowing.

For a brief moment, Kouji worried that Lobomon and Duskmon were about to go at it again, but then he recognized the warm light; it was his own. He stared at his hands again, wondering what could possibly be happening now. Takuya, with tears racing down his cheeks, drew his eyebrows together at the sight.

"What… what on earth is happening…?" Bokomon asked quietly, his voice a mere whisper.

Kouji leaned in closer, straining his already burning eyes. That was when he realized that two of the open wounds on Tommy's chest were beginning to close.

"It's _healing _him!" Neemon exclaimed from beside JP.

Zoe dropped down beside Kouji and took Tommy's hand in her gentle grip. She placed two fingers strategically over his wrist and waited. Choking on a sob, she nodded her head and curled over Tommy's damaged form. "He has a _pulse_," she cried. "It's weak, but it's there…!"

"Oh my god…" JP murmured, placing a hand to his mouth.

It didn't seem real. It couldn't be real. _Nobody _survived this sort of trauma. But Kouji couldn't stop to dwell on that; he didn't have the time.

"I can't see well enough to do this on my own," he told the others, fighting to keep himself steady as the tears burned his eyes. "Someone needs to guide my hands."

While Takuya continued to hold Tommy still, JP leaned over and gripped onto Kouji's wrists. The light strengthened, and together, they moved on to Tommy's other, more serious wounds. Kouji squinted hard at the sight, just barely able to see the gashes retreat into simple scars before vanishing completely. His heart was pounding, and he felt horrified by the thought that he wouldn't be able to heal Tommy in time. He couldn't mess this up, and he couldn't take it for granted; if he did, he would never forgive himself. He had never gotten this opportunity with Kouichi, and now he had it.

Before he could stop them, the tears started falling.

If he had been fully conscious and able to walk on that horrible day, could he have saved his brother too?

Suddenly, a tremendous wave of fatigue crashed into him. He groaned, using all the strength he had to keep himself from collapsing on top of Tommy. Zoe almost immediately latched onto his shoulders, holding him upright.

"Kouji?"

"F-fine…" he rasped back, gritting his teeth together. He wasn't even able to take a breath before another wave of exhaustion washed over him. He doubled over against Zoe, and JP tightened his grip on his wrists to keep them stable. "This is… draining my energy."

Takuya took his hand from Tommy's cheek and placed it on top of Kouji's left hand.

"You've got this, Kouji," Takuya said, his voice shaking. "We've got you."

"Oh, please do be careful, Kouji," Bokomon cried out, coming to stand next to Takuya. "We've never experienced anything like this before, and I have a feeling it could be dangerous for you."

"It doesn't matter," he retorted, flinching as his body was suddenly riddled with aches and pains. "We don't have a choice here."

His vision began to spin—fading in and out. He knew Bokomon's concerns were legitimate, but he wouldn't stop until he was positive that Tommy would be okay. He didn't know how he was doing this, and he didn't care. He just knew that he would not be able to live with himself if Tommy didn't make it.

Soon, Zoe was fully supporting him, and Kouji put all his energy into healing the last of the large gashes. His vision went completely black.

"Are you okay?" Zoe asked, concern laced in her voice.

He didn't even have the energy to answer her. The longer this went on, the more drained he felt. He thought he wouldn't be able to make it through.

Zoe and JP flanked him protectively. From in front of him, Kouji felt Takuya hold his hand a little bit tighter. He knew he was just seconds from losing consciousness.

But then, at the exact same time, both Kouji and Tommy drew in one sharp breath.


End file.
